


Tomorrow will be another day, and I'll still be here

by orphan_account



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, BAMF Catelyn, Best Friends, Biting, Blood and Injury, Bonding, Character Death, Child Neglect, Childbirth, Couple goals, Cunnilingus, Dark Past, Dialogue Heavy, Divorce, Domestic Violence, Drug Addiction, Drunk Cersei Lannister, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Face Punching, Falling In Love, Family Drama, Foreplay, Ghost is the best, GoT references, Gun Violence, Heavy Drinking, Heroin, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Joffrey is an asshole...no surprise there, Jon and Sansa Are Not Related, Jon and the Starks Are Not Related, Jon has a sense of humour, Jon is a dream, Jon owns a bar, Knife fights, Lisa just wants her her motorcycle back, Lots of it, Love Confessions, Love at First Sight, M/M, Making Love, Modern Westeros, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Motherhood, Motorcycles, Nightmares, No Incest, Okay this is getting to long, Oral Sex, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent Sansa Stark, Past Child Abuse, Past Drug Use, Past Sexual Abuse, People Get Punched A Lot, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnancy, Prison, Protectiveness, Puppy Love, Rape, Rape Recovery, Rehabilitation, Rough Sex, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sansa and Joffrey are married, Sansa needs a hug ASAP, Seriously you'll get a toothache, Sexual Tension, Smoking, Smut, Substance Abuse, Suffering, Teasing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Tragedy, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Winterfell, anger issues, arya is a badass, cursing, marital rape, more smut, probably will make you cry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-01-14 21:14:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 50,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18484489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sansa Stark had been a stupid little girl , nowadays she knows that there aren't any such thing as happily ever after, she also learned that monsters are real and not all of them are big and scary, some have blonde hair and blue eyes. What she didn't know is that when she least expected she would discover her knight in shining armour, in this case leather jacket and black jeans, in the most unexpected of places.Jon just wants to run his bar "The White Wolf" in peace, while at the same time trying to fight his demons, and overcome his dark past. He never thought that along the way he would meet the love of his life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Before any thing else I must warn you that some of the themes in this fic are going to be quite heavy, however I'll always try to give an heads up beforehand. Now for the story itself.
> 
> The Starks live in Kings Landing and Sansa is married to Joffrey and they have a kid, of course it's useless to say how bad is their marriage. The whole story and Jon and Sansa's relationship will pretty much revolve around that.
> 
> WARNING: There's a brief description of marital rape in this chapter, when you see "*" skip ahead if you don't want to read it.

Sansa Stark

Another night, another cold dinner, another "daddy will be here soon", another empty bed, Sansa just be used to this by now, matter of fact she should be thankful for it, the nights Joffrey doesn't come home are the only peaceful ones Sansa has, the others are nightmares. To everyone Sansa and Joffrey are the perfect couple, high school sweethearts that got married at a young age but are still going strong, a beautiful couple with a perfect four year old daughter, Joffrey Baratheon is a lawyer, Sansa Stark a stay at home mom, they live in the suburbs in a big house just like in the magazines, white fence and all. Most people look at them and think they live in a fairy tale but the truth is that behind closed doors, Joffrey is a monster. Whenever he comes home from work, Joffrey sits at the dinning table without even muttering a word to her, shortly afterwards he goes into his study, completely ignoring his daughters questions and requests, other times he goes out with his colleagues for a drink, Sansa doesn't sleep because it's pointless anyway, Joffrey comes home late at night and goes to their room, his breath smelling of cigars and expensive whisky, his shirt stained with some whore's lipstick, these are the only moments where his true colours come out, he shouts at her because dinner wasn't at his liking or because Lily, their daughter, was bothering him, most times he just screams without any motive, he never hits her on the face, God forbids if her family finds out the truth, yet the rest of her body is like a blank canvas waiting for Joffrey to paint with bruises, scratches and bite marks, Sansa doesn't scream anymore not even when he drags her to bed by the hair and starts fucking her hard and mercilessly, it's been going on for so long that pain as become her loyal companion, she feels numb. Sansa Stark is constantly seeing on the news, testimonies of women who were brave enough to leave their abusive marriage, she yearns to be like them but deep down she knows she can't, if she did leave she would've lost her reason to live, Lily Baratheon. The first time Sansa asked for a divorce Joffrey broke two of her ribs and promised that if she went through with it, he would make sure Sansa never saw Lily again, if this was a better world she wouldn't believe him, but Joffrey was right, his grandfather was the wealthiest man in Westeros, just one call from him and Sansa would lose her daughter forever, so she forgot about those papers and stayed and endured, after all she was still a Stark.

There's a noise in the kitchen that breaks her free from her thoughts, it looks like Sansa was wrong, Joffrey decided to come home after all. It's going to be a long night, she already knows it.

"Joffrey, my love." Sansa almost threw up saying those words, but Joffrey enjoyed hearing them, not because he wanted her affection, but because he took pleasure in seeing her discomfort and humiliation, "I didn't expect you at home this soon." Joffrey had his back turn, she wasn't even sure if he was listening.

"And why is that? Were you expecting someone, is that it?" His voice was pure venom, Sansa began shaking. He was drunk. "Tell me you whore, were you expecting someone?!" His voice was more steady and he was facing her now.

"What? Joffrey you're my husband, I-I would be incapable of d-doing that to you. You're the only man I want." Her eyes were burning with tears, her main concern was that Lily could awake up at any moment. For almost five years she as tried to shelter her daughter from the truth, her little girl didn't deserve to see her father, a man that she saw as an hero, behaving this way.

"Prove it." Joffrey's voice was calm but his eyes were full of malice.

"Joffrey... you can't possibly be serio-" before she could finish, Joffrey grabbed her neck and almost lifted Sansa off the ground.

"You said I'm the only man you want, let's see if you're being honest." His grip on her neck loosened and he turned her around so that her hands were now against the kitchen countertop, she knew exactly what was going to happen.

"Lily... she'll see, please don't..." For the first time in a long time, tears finally spilled onto her face.

"Don't worry about it, I'll be quick. It's not like you're as enjoyable as you once were, and if it's any consolation just know that I won't take any pleasure in this." He was lying of course, seeing Sansa helpless was when Joffrey was the happiest, it was what lived for.

*In a swift movement, Joffrey ripped her panties and pulled her silk nightgown up to her back, and just like that, without any warning, he started thrusting into her like mad, it was the first time he ever took her like this, each thrust brought more pain than the other, it felt like she was being split in half. Sansa had to bite her cheek to keep from crying, Joffrey was not only ramming into her like he was possessed by some animal, he was also scratching her arms, bitting her neck and shoulders and the worst of all was not even the physical aspect of the situation, but yes the things he was whispering in her hear, no human being deserved to be called all those names, to hear all of those words, Joffrey made her feel like an empty shell of the person she once was. The God's must've heard her prayers, minutes later Joffrey's movements became erratic and uncoordinated, he then started grunting and was finally cumming inside her, at least she didn't had to worry about getting pregnant, Joffrey forbade her from taking the pill, he was the one in charge and would only wear a condom if he felt like using it, other times Sansa would take the morning after pill without is knowledge.*

"How did I end up with you? You're not even able to satisfy me, you're as dry as the desert itself. You're a pathetic excuse of a woman." Joffrey said while fastening his belt. "Clean yourself and don't wait up for me, I'm going to the club with the boys."

And just like he hadn't done anything to Sansa, Joffrey turned around and left her alone in the kitchen, as soon as the door banged, Sansa broke, she didn't know how long she stayed laying in the kitchen floor just crying over the last ten years of her life. When her family moved to Kings Landing over a decade ago, because her father got a job offer from Robert Baratheon, Sansa never imagined her life was going to turn out this way, or that the kind and loving boy she met and fell in love with almost instantly was in fact cruel and sadistic, she was a stupid little girl back then, nowadays Sansa Stark knows that there aren't any such thing as happily ever after and that life is not like the romantic movies she grew up watching, she also learned that monsters are real and not all of them are big and scary, some have blonde hair and blue eyes and are beautiful. By the time her tears stopped, Sansa could see the first rays of sun hitting trough her window, Joffrey's cum was dry on her tights, the pain had lessened and she could barely open her eyes, she was sure that if she spoke now, her voice would sound hoarse.

"Mommy? Where are you?!" Of course her daughter sounded scared, every morning the first thing she did when she woke up was going to Sansa's room, yet today Sansa was in the kitchen with her body covered in bruises and her nightgown all crumpled, Lily couldn't see her like this. Somehow she found her robe and headed upstairs, where like she already knew, Lily waiting for her.

"Mommy!" Lily jumped into her arms and hugged her like they hadn't seen each other in years, that gesture made Sansa forget everything that had happened earlier. Lily was the only thing keeping Sansa from killing herself, she still remembers being pregnant and the fear that her baby was going to be just like her father, but here they are four years later and all of Sansa's worries were in vain, Lily had the Lannisters blond hair but her eyes were the same exact colour as her grandfather Ned, she also had the Starks long face, not to mention that she had more kindness and compassion in her than all the other Lannisters combined, Tyrion of course was an exception. Lily was Sansa's everything, her little girl was perfect in every aspect, whenever she flashed Sansa that toothy grin of hers she felt stronger, Lily gave her a purpose, she promised herself the day her daughter was born that she would never know a life like the one her mother had, she wasn't going to allow Joffrey to mistreat her, he never had of course but if that one day happens, Sansa promised to kill him herself.

"Oh my angel! Did you sleep well?" Sansa asked Lily, who was nuzzling against her neck, it was clear she was still drowsy from sleep. They stayed like that for a while, until Lily's breathing told her she was sleeping again. Sansa carried her to the living room and went to start on breakfast for both of them.

Before she could go fetch some milk and eggs from the fridge, her phone began to ring, it was her mother. Sansa did her best to get herself together, her family never liked Joffrey, but over the years Sansa became better at making up excuses as to why she didn't visit them more often or why she stopped wearing dresses and short sleeve shirts, so they were all oblivious of what was going on in her house, she can't even begin to contemplate what will Robb, her older brother, do when he finds out. She was expecting to hear Catelyn Stark asking her to have lunch with her.

"Morni-...mom where are you?" Right away she noticed something wrong, Sansa could hear people screaming and several beeping sounds and ambulances, her mother was in the hospital.

"Oh Sansa! It's your s-sister...she...she's was rushed to the hospital!" Sansa froze, Arya had left home almost two weeks ago and ever since that the only thing they got was a text message saying she was okay and was having fun in her new job, apparently she had a job now. Arya was the wild one in the family no doubt, her sister was also very irresponsible and most times would act without thinking about the consequences. Sansa was afraid of what her mother was going to say.

"How?!"

"She was stabbed! You have to came here, her situation is critical. The doctors say...they say she's...it's not good." Sansa's whole world came crashing down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When one of Jon's friends finds herself in a very dangerous situation, Jon is forced to face his past and deal with his urges.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter picks up where I left off, Arya getting stabbed.

Jon Snow

"Please tell me why are we doing this?" Lisa, Jon's best friend and roommate asked for what it felt the hundredth time already.

Jon couldn't blame her of course, after all they have been up for over sixteen hours, to be honest Jon only wanted to go home and sleep the rest of the day but instead found himself at six in the morning on a Sunday making his way to the hospital, in his mind that was only the right thing to do. After a long night at their bar "The White Wolf" Jon and Lisa were more than ready to go home a spent their two days off just doing nothing or listening to Lisa screaming at the TV, but of course things never worked out that simple for either them, the moment they arrived at the parking lot they saw the group of bikers that had just left the bar minutes before all gathered in a circle, immediately he noticed a girl lying on a pool of her own blood, it was Arya Stark, Jon and met her a couple of weeks ago when she showed up with Gendry, a good friend of his, he quickly became fond of her, despite coming from a very rich family she didn't act like it, she was one of the most down to earth people he's met, not to mention that she was a badass to the core, in less than a week she learned how to ride a motorcycle even better than Gendry himself. At once he rushed to her side to see if she was alive, thank the Gods she was, Lisa called an ambulance and luckily enough they took less than five minutes to arrive, from the little information he's got apparently when Arya and their friends left they met with another group of bikers who were their rivals, Jon never understood this kind of old western rivalry, anyway they were all drunk and saying things they probably didn't meant to say, so immediately a fight broke loose, Arya tackled a girl to the floor and was pounding the crap out of her face when somehow she managed to pull out a knife and stabbed Arya in the gut with it. Jon was nervous wreck, he was afraid of it because when he was like this that's when the cravings would come, he just kept reciting all of the words he had been listening for over four years in his mind.

"It's the right thing, she's our friend. And in case you're forgetting it happened in our bar." Jon said.

"The parking lot it's not part of our bar, it's a public place goddamnmit! Why the need to be the good Samaritan?!" Jon was surprised by this, Lisa and Arya were good friends. So why was she acting like this?

Lisa rubbed her eyes, Jon could see her hands shake. "I'm sorry Jon. It's just... I don't like hospitals." Immediately everything started to make sense, Jon was so focused on getting his head together that he forgot that Lisa must have been feeling the same way as him, if not worst. 

"I'm so sorry, if you want I'll turn around and take you home." 

"What for? Anyway they're always saying we need to fight our demons, right?" Lisa tried to sound confident but failed miserably, Jon swore he could see tears gathering in her eyes.

He remembers the days he spent on rehab, how people would tell him that everyday he gets better, what a bunch of fucking lies. There were still nights that he would wake up sweating and shaking while his body was desperately seeking for drugs, Jon knows he has no one to blame but himself. Jon grew up in flea bottom, his mom was a single mother who earned a living cleaning houses, he never knew his father and never really wanted, after all the man had left Lyanna when she was just seventeen with a baby on her belly, they're life was far from good, despite working day and night to put food on the table it wasn't enough, there where times they would find themselves having to choose between having water or light and most of his clothing was hand me downs, yet with all of that Jon never lacked any love from his mother, she always made sure to show him how much she loved him even with the smallest of gestures, like when he was ten and she sold her mother's ring so she could give him the the Christmas present he had asked for, or how she would always bake him a cake for his birthday, or most times would go to bed with an empty stomach so Jon could have a proper meal. When he was eighteen his mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, right away the doctors told them she didn't had much time, Jon was with her trough every single moment, he would carry her to bed when she was to weak and sore to walk, would spend his nights holding her hair as she threw up for hours, in the end he ended by spending her last three months of life in the hospital by her side until one night she went to sleep and never woke up again. During all of his mother's sickness Jon had put on a brave face but meres hours after the funeral his mask crumbled, he was lost all he wanted was to make the pain go away, his friends would tell him she was in a better place, how? Her place was with him. Not long afterwards he started to go on a downward spiral, he was desperately trying to find way to make him forget that he would never hear or see Lyanna, the only person who had never gave up on him was truly gone and Jon was broken, he wanted nothing more than to die, that's was until he found a way make all of his suffering disappear, a friend in the shape of a needle loaded with heroin, one that carried pure euphoria to his body and made him happy even if it was for just a bit. Jon hit his rock bottom when he found himself with a gun on his hand ready to rob a convenience store, in that moment he could hear his mother whispering in his hear that he was better than that, he was Jon her son. He had to almost destroy his life to understand that he had to stop being a coward and use his mother's death as an excuse for the way he was, for the person he had become. The next day Jon checked in a rehab facility, that's when he met Lisa, he didn't know much about her past or her motives only that she had and overdose which made her spend four months in a coma, that was her wake up call. Somehow they got trough treatment and soon afterwards Jon got a letter saying that one his mother's uncles had died and left him a bar, his mother used to have a dream of opening her own bar, so instead of selling the place he and Lisa set to work and that's how "The White Wolf" came to life. He was five years clean now, it wasn't always easy specially now.

"We're here." Lisa said mostly to herself, she wasn't looking at Jon, in fact she wasn't looking at anything, her eyes had this emptiness that scared him.

They walked the rest of the way in silence, not sure of what to talk about, just focusing on what brought them here, Arya Stark. She was their friend and she needed them, that was what matter the most and it actually helped, as long as Jon kept thinking about that, that he was actually doing something good, it made him forget about the fact that he wanted to use drugs badly. The same couldn't be said about Lisa, with every step she took Jon could see her grow more and more agitated, the last time she was here she almost died, this was the place where she had to face her demons for the first time, it didn't matter how long it has been or how much progress she has done, they'll always be here lurking around in the shadows just waiting to see her fail, Jon stopped midway and gave her hand a squeeze as if to say that he wasn't going to let her go, that she was safe, Lisa smiled at him a weak smile but he could already see some of the tension leave her shoulders. 

When they arrived at the waiting room where a group of people was already waiting for news of Arya. From the descriptions she had given them Jon assumed these people were her family, he walked over to them but instead of an handshake, Jon was greeted with a punch in the face. Lisa at once came to his aid, his nose was trobbing and there was blood all over his shirt, no doubt it was broken.

"Robb! Have you lost your mind?!" A redhead about Lisa's age said to Robb, she was carrying a little blonde girl in her arms, if she was indeed Arya's sister, well his friend wasn't wrong they both looked so different and not only in looks.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! Asshole!" Lisa was already getting up, she was known for her temper specially when she was craving, things were about to get heated. He was certain they were going to get kicked out of the hospital in a matter of minutes.

"What's wrong?! Because of you two my sister is in an hospital bed! You allowed a minor to spend her days at your bar surrounded by marginals!" Robb shouted at Lisa, how did he even know that Jon and her were the bar owners? 

"We didn't know she was a minor, since she gave us a fake ID! Up until last week we thought her name was Mercy! And yes you're right she spends her nights drinking and cursing like a sailor, because she fucking wants to! None of us forced her to do anything, it's not our fault that your sister decided to rebel against her stuck up family!" In that moment Jon didn't recognize Lisa anymore, she was a whole different person. This was the Lisa before rehab.

"Lisa that's enough, this is hardl-" of course she cut him off.

"No Jon, it's not! If it wasn't for us your precious sister would've still been bleeding to death! Her friends didn't want to call an ambulance because they didn't had the balls to face the consequences! You should be thanking us that you're here instead of picking a coffin and a pretty dress to bury your sister in it."

"Enough! Lisa stop!" Jon raised his voice for the first time since arriving at there, "we're not welcome here, let's go." And that's what they did, but instead of returning home the two of them stayed outside waiting for any news. He wasn't going to leave until he made sure Arya was away from danger, he didn't even know how bad her situation was.

Minutes turned to hours, his whole face was hurting, he could barely breathe from his nose yet he didn't want to see a doctor, especially because he would have to be given painkillers, he was in pain but was sober. Lisa was all over the place, in less than three hours she had almost smoked two packs of cigarettes. Jon wasn't going to lie, he wanted nothing more than to beat the crap out of Robb Stark but he couldn't, it wasn't fair, he better that anyone understands what it's like to have someone you love in an hospital bed fighting for their lives, when he found out about his mother diagnosis nine years ago, Jon broke all of his knuckles punching a wall.

Lisa had just went to the cafeteria to grab something for both of them eat, when Arya's sister came to see him.

"I don't think we've had the opportunity to introduce ourselves yet. I'm Sansa Stark, Arya's older sister." She extend her hand to him, which he gladly accept it. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn't slept in almost twenty four hours, but he could swear that she was the most beautiful woman he's ever seen.

"I'm here to tell you that Arya as left the operation table and everything went according to plan, she's going to survive."

"Thank the Gods, your sister gave us all a mighty scare. Also I-I I'm so sorry for our behaviour earlier, my friend she's...this situations are...are hard on her. Oh... and I'm Jon, that's... that's my name." Why was he stammering and acting like a fool? Was it the nerves?

"Don't you dare apologize, my brother was a brute. I just hope your okay."

"What this?", Jon pointed at his swollen nose, "it's nothing, I've had much more worse trust me." He wasn't lying, a broken nose was nothing compared to some of the injuries he's suffered throughout the years.

As Sansa was about the say something else, her whole body tensed and she looked like she was about to cry at any moment, he turned around and saw a blonde tall and skinny man approaching them, he was wearing s suit and tie and was walking like he owned the place, maybe he did. 

"J-Jofrrey, my love, what are...you doing here" he couldn't believe Sansa was in a relationship with this Joffrey fellow, it was true that Jon didn't know the man but it wasn't that hard to see that he was bad news.

"Why, Sansa I came to see if my sister-in-law is alright. That's what family is for, isn't it?" Everything in his tone suggested otherwise. "And who might you be?" Joffrey was now addressing him.

"This is Jon, he's actually the one who helped Arya." Sansa answered for him, she looked terrified.

"Where's Lily? Go get her, sweetheart, after all you've been away all day. I've missed both my girls." Sansa actually flinched, Jon didn't like where this was heading. Why was Sansa flinching from her own husband?

Without any other word the two of them walked inside after Sansa thanked Jon and said goodbye. Lisa came minutes later.

"Is Arya's sister married to Joffrey Baratheon?" It was the first thing she asked, it was clear she knew him.

"I think so, why?"

"Then I pity that poor girl, Joffrey Baratheon his the worst shit there is. I guarantee you that Arya's sister is going trough hell even tough she might not show it." Jon had to fight the urge of storming trough the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time writing about themes such like addiction, domestic violence, depression, etc. I want to be as real as possible, so I've actually did a lot of research about those subjects, but then again if you think I'm doing something wrong or is to "artificial" tell me something in the comments.  
> Hope you enjoy it.😊🤞


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can one of the people Sansa hates the most actually be a blessing in disguise?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might have noticed that I've used the "no incest" tag, mainly because I don't feel like Cersei and Jaime relationship is relevant for the story. So I've changed things a bit, in this fic Jaime and Cersei actually don't get along all to well.

Cersei Lannister

"Why isn't the table set yet?" Cersei demanded from one of her maids.

"We'll start on that right away Ms. Baratheon." Cersei hated to be called that, it was just another reminder that she was married to the excuse of a man that was Robert Baratheon. If she knew twenty six years ago he would turn into that fat beast that spends his days drinking and whoring around, Cersei would've killed herself instead of walking down the aisle. But then again she could hardly care about that now, as long as Robert keeps is distance as he's been doing for years and she can go on about her life doing what she pleases, it's more than enough.

She could hear her brother Jaime making his way into to the living room, despite being twins the two of them couldn't be any more different, Jaime was almost fifty years old and still didn't had a clue of what he wanted to do with his life. Their father, Tywin Lannister, sent Jaime to a military school when he was just twelve, he spent a few years in the army to please the family but after decided to go on a journey to find himself, Cersei probably will give him a compass this Christmas since he's still looking for it. His latest adventure was selling his flat and buy himself a boat to sail across Westeros, but the damned thing was anywhere near done so in the meantime he was living with Cersei and Robert.

The Lannisters were one of the most prominent and powerful families in Westeros, but her brothers seemed to take pleasure in seeing the family name on the dirt, like for example this dinner she was planning. About two weeks ago her younger brother Tyrion said he had some news for the family, so Cersei decided to have a dinner party at her house, hell might freeze over before has to go to Tyrion's apartment. Her brother Jaime was terrible at keeping secrets, so he had told her that Tyrion was engaged to Shae, an escort he had fallen in love with, and that he wanted to celebrate the good news with his family, of course the moment their father found out about this, he said he couldn't come because he had a very important meeting, as if they didn't know that Tywin loathed his son.

The only good thing that came out of this was the fact that Cersei was going to be seeing her children who she didn't see as often as she wished, Tommen was in college, Myrcella had left the house months ago and was now working as teacher, and of course Joffrey her first born, although she wasn't that all excited to see her daughter in law, Sansa Stark, even after all this years she has no idea why Joffrey married that simple minded girl who obviously didn't made him happy, she was a beautiful of course, no one could deny that, but she wasn't made for her son, not to mention that Cersei despised all of her family, specially Ned Stark. When her husband asked Ned to become his business partner in his construction company and other subsidiary companies, Cersei lost all the power she had over them, mainly because Robert never payed any mind whatsoever to the bureaucratic side of things, he preferred to let Ned deal with all of that, Cersei Lannister became powerless.

"You know, for someone who doesn't want this marriage to happen, you actually outdid yourself I must say." Her brother Jaime favourite hobby was to get in her nerves.

"And? Do you think I want to hear Tyrion whining about how terrible I am to him throughout the whole meal?"

"He wouldn't be lying, would he? Why can't you be happy for him, after everything he's went through his finally found someone he loves and loves him back." Of course Jaime was going to say something like that.

"You should really advocate for all the suffering souls of the world, you have a knack for it." Cersei striked back, Jaime's always been on Tyrion side ever since they were children. They loved to make her look like the delusional one, that of course wasn't true. Cersei unlike them was a realist, she saw the world and people as they were, either you're good or you're not there was no middle ground. Cersei knew what she was, and honestly she loved it.

The door bell rang and so Cersei went into to the living room to see who it was, Robert was sitting in his leather recliner wearing sweatpants despite the fact she told him to dress up for the occasion, she wanted to murder the man. When the maid opened the door, she saw Tyrion with his soon to be trophy wife and her son Tommen, that surprised her.

"Dear sister, you cannot even begin to contemplate what this means to us. I'm so lucky to have a sister like you, I don't deserve it." Tyrion said in a mocking tone, she was going to need a lot of wine in order to survive this night or at least refrain herself from killing Tyrion.

"Thank you so much for having us here, Cersei." Shae the whore said, the woman was almost naked as her nameday, "since your brother Jaime already spoiled the surprise, I think we should make it official. We're engaged." She showed her ring, in that moment Cersei wanted to break every single finger in her hand, that bitch was wearing her mother's ring, she knew Tyrion was a vile and selfish little creature, but she never imagined he would go this far. Her father probably didn't even knew about this, she was going to love his reaction.

Her mother had died giving birth to him, she gave her life so Tyrion could spend the rest of his days ruining his. She wanted to scream, to claw at his face, to tell him that he was the shame of the family. It's not fair, her mother was in a urn in their father's house, while his whore was parading her memory around like it was some kind of accomplishment, the hooker that now eats with the Lannisters. Cersei was fuming, she was about to make a scene but the ever observant Tommen sensed this and quickly changed the subject.

"Oh,that's right, Myrcella can't come tonight, she has a bunch of papers to grade so it's kind of impossible for her to be here, but she promised tomorrow the two of you will have lunch." The fact that her daughter was going to spend some time with her calmed her down, yet that didn't mean the anger wasn't there.

"Look who it is! I never thought I'd see the day that Tyrion bloody Lannister would get married. Come, this calls for a celebration." Robert said, everything with that man was an opportunity to get drunk. He was probably drunk already from the way he was walking.

"Why did you arrived with your uncle?" Cersei asked Tommen, once everybody left to have a brandy with that slob of her husband.

"I actually arrived from college last night, because it's closer I decided to stay at uncle Tyrion's place." Cersei could hear his unspoken words, _I don't like being here because of my father_ , out of all her children Tommen was the one who had the worst relationship with their father, when he was born Robert was already the drunken mess he is now, so he never really cared about Tommen. She hated him even more for that, one day he would pay for it all.

Minutes later the doorbell rang again, this time it was Joffrey and Sansa and their little girl Lily. Cersei loved her granddaughter, despite the fact she had the Stark look safe for the hair, she was a Lannister trough and trough even though she might not realize yet.

"Joffrey, I've missed you so much my darling boy." Cersei said hugging his son, she could smell the alcohol on him but then again it was understandable since he had to work for his father, who loved to torment him.

"Sansa how is your sister? I've heard about what happened to her." Of course Arya Stark was stabbed, she's always been a savage little cunt.

"She's doing amazing, actually she left the hospital today." Sansa said in that meek voice of hers, in all the years Cersei knows her, she as never seen Sansa genuinely happy or smiling.

The rest of the evening was a disaster, at least for her anyway, Tyrion kept provoking her, Shae was bragging to Sansa about her twenty five carat diamond ring, her husband was drunk and making a fool of himself while Jaime just sat there with a smug look on his face, her brother clearly saw that she was ready to explode, but Cersei chose not to after all Lily was here, she didn't want her granddaughter, who worshiped her, to see her angry. There would be other opportunities for Cersei to get her payback, such as telling her father all she found out this evening. Also there was something that didn't left her mind, when Sansa started to feed Lily of her own plate, as she rolled up her sleeves Cersei saw it, four fingers imprinted on her wrists, right away she knew what cause those bruises, her son.

Cersei was no stranger to any of that, as well. Five years after their wedding, Robert slapped her so hard that he busted her lip, unlike Sansa she wasn't weak and of course she fought back, that same night Robert went to the ER with a cut on his cheek, a terrible car accident of course, nothing do to with the shards of glass in the living room.

She had no love for Sansa, but she knew her son wasn't an easy person to live with, he might look like a charming and polite young man but that's all a facade, one which Cersei is responsible of. All Joffrey's knows he's learned from her, she spent her life making sure her children knew how to survive in a world where if you don't pay close attention you'll get stomped on, Tommen and Myrcella never truly saw it that way tough that didn't change a thing about her feelings towards them, but Joffrey was more than her son, he was a male version of her, cunning and ruthless just like a lion. It's strange that Cersei hates Sansa, since that girl reminds her so much of her younger self, it's like looking at a mirror thirty years ago, she too was a naive girl who believed in true love and that dreams can come trough if you pray really for it, of course Cersei had to learn the hard way that nothing in life comes without a price, one that most times is to costly. She could spend hours naming all the reasons as to why she was this way, her marriage, her family name, her father's expectations, the fear that her children would one day suffer, but in the end of the day that would all be just mere excuses. She choose to be this person, because she was tired of having others choosing her life for her, she is a Lannister she wasn't born to follow, she is a leader, and for the sake of her granddaughter she was going to teach Sansa how to become the same.

But before she had the change to have a private conversation with Sansa, Lily jumped to her lap, that little girl was probably the only one who looked at Cersei and actually saw some good in her.

"Look at you so grow up, I hear your birthday is next week. Are going to have a good party?" Cersei asked her granddaughter, little did she know that she already has been planning Lilly's birthday for months.

"Mommy says I'm not old enough to have a big party yet." Lily told her with an hint of sadness in her voice, she was her only granddaughter so everything she wanted she would have it.

"Nonsense, you only turn five once. Tell me what you want your birthday party to be and I'll make it come through."

"Really?!" Her reaction was more than enough, she still remembers when Myrcella was this age and would act this way too when she was happy.

"Of course, but I already know what you want. Unicorns." Lily nodded eagerly. Cersei didn't understand kids obsession with this things that were not even real but still she organised the party the way Lily wanted.

"I love you grandma!" Lily gave her a tight hug.

"Love you more my little lioness." And she meant every single word.

Finally it was almost over, Tommen was the first to leave because he had to return to his dorm today, her husband was asleep on the couch and would remain there, Tyrion was talking to Jaime and Joffrey while his fiancée stood at his, as if she was marking territory, Lily was also asleep in her mother's arms. This was the perfect moment to talk to Sansa.

"How are things going at home, Sansa." She could see her tensing up.

"It's... t-they are good." She was really a bad liar.

"Is that so? If I told you to take off your sweater, you guarantee me that your skin will be unmarked, without any bruises and scars?" She didn't even bothered with hiding the truth, she just adverted her gaze.

"I know what my son his and what he puts you trough. You hate me and hate you but I want to help, men are futile creatures they only think with one thing only, the one between their legs, adapt to your situation, make Joffrey eat from your hand. His smart but you can be even more if you want to. If you give all of yourself to him, but at the same time give him nothing, he will live for you."

"Will it work?" Sansa asked.

"You can try."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was definitely the hardest chapter I had to write yet, speciality since because in season one and two I've never really understood if Cersei was the villain or the victim, and also there a lot of moments in the show/book were she actually cared for Sansa so that's kind of what I tried to showcase in here. I have no idea if it's good or not, so I'll let you be the judge.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa tries to be a good sister for Arya, little does she knows but that action is going to change her whole life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember I did warn you this was going to have a lot dialogue.
> 
> Sansa and Jon finally meet again.
> 
> This chapter is mostly fluff with some angst in the end.

Sansa Stark

Thank God, Sansa thought to herself. After almost an hour on the phone, Bernadette, Cersei's personal assistant, had finally hung up, for over a week now Sansa hasn't been able to rest, ever since Cersei told her she was going to throw Lily a surprise birthday party, despite Sansa telling her she didn't want one, but then of course Cersei loved to contradict her so she should be used to it already.

Lily's birthday was two days ago but because it was during a weekday, Sansa decided to wait for the weekend to celebrate mainly because that was the only time her whole family could be together. She had planned to do a party at her house with both hers and Joffrey's family, her best friend Jeyne Pole and her husband, who was also Robb's best friend, Theon, every year it was always the same, they would have dinner and then would sing happy birthday and cut the cake. Sansa and Joffrey lived a very comfortable life and could easily afford to throw a massive birthday party for Lily, but she was still to young to actually remember it later on, and also Sansa didn't want her daughter to think that because she came from a very wealthy family, she could have all she wanted, Lily wasn't going to be a spoiled brat like her father, so that's why she kept the celebrations small.

Of course her mother in law had to change that, Cersei loved to spoil Lily, everytime they went to visit her Cersei would gift Lily with toys and other items that she would usually forget about in a matter of days. And now her mother in law had planned a huge party with horses and all for her granddaughter, even if the last thing Sansa wanted was to spend her Sunday afternoon with all the Lannister family and their display of wealth, but she was positive Lily's reaction would make up for it.

As she was about to finally go to bed, alone of course, Sansa decided to go to Lily's room as she did every night, yet when she arrived there instead of sleeping peacefully her daughter was sitting, clutching her stuffed lion and crying freely, in that moment she wanted to cry herself.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Sansa asked, taking Lily into her arms.

"D-Daddy...h-he..." Her daughter was crying so hard she couldn't even speak so Sansa just held her even more tighter than before, finally after almost half an hour Lily seemed more calm.

"Why doesn't daddy love me?" She whispered, Sansa's heart shattered. She had no idea what to say, after all Lily wasn't entirely wrong.

"Why would you say that, baby? Of course daddy loves you."

"No, he doesn't! He's always away! He forgot my birthday!" Of course, Joffrey only came home for dinner that day and didn't even said happy birthday to Lily, it was obvious she was hurt by it. Sansa couldn't blame her.

"Baby, look at me." She did, "your daddy loves you very much, he...he just works very hard so you can have the best life possible. And about your birthday, he didn't do it on purpose, he was just tired." Sansa hated to lie, but she couldn't find in herself the strength to lie to Lily.

"Do you love me, mommy?" Lily asked carefully, as if she was afraid of what Sansa might answer.

"As much as you love unicorns." Sansa tried to cheer Lily, by the way she started giggling it worked.

"That's a lot!" She sounded a lot happier now.

"I'll always be here for you, baby." She said it mostly to herself.

Next morning when Sansa woke up, she was in Lily's bed, they must have fallen asleep some time after their chat. Lily looked peaceful, but Sansa knew that the thoughts of last night still haunted her daughter's mind, Sansa felt like a bad mother even though it wasn't her fault she still felt terrible that she chose Joffrey to be the father of her daughter. She just wished her husband could be like her own father, despite being one of the busiest men in Westeros, Ned Stark always made his children feel loved beyond comparison. Of all her siblings she was the one that had the least in common with her father, they always went on fishing and hunting trips together while Sansa stayed at home with her mom, yet Ned always found a way of connecting with her, whenever he would pick her up at school or drive her to Jeyne's house they would talk about everything and nothing, those were their moments, and she loved every single one of them. From what she could tell, Joffrey didn't had any of that growing up, his father was and is an alcoholic and Cersei probably did more harm than good, if anything that should make him want to be a better parent, but then again Joffrey was incapable of feeling love for anyone, not even his own child.

Her phone began to ring, it was Arya, afraid of waking up Lily Sansa hung up and left the room, once in her own she returned the call, it was very early in the morning usually Arya would still be sleeping, she sensed her sister was about to come up with some bad idea.

"Why are you calling me this early?" Sansa went straight to the point.

"Good morning to you to Sansa, it's called manners you should learn some." Arya joked, she hated when she did that.

"Can you please tell me what you want?"

"I'm bored! I haven't left the house for almost a week now, if I have to stay another more day with mom watching some cooking channel, I'll go mad." Arya was exasperated, she wasn't one to stay quiet for long.

"Well, I'm afraid those are the doctors orders, you need rest. You were stabbed two weeks ago." Sansa still remembers how scared she was that day.

"See, that's why I'm calling you, doctor Luwin says I can finally return to my normal activities, but the thing is mom won't let me use the car because I ran away, and I really need to go to the White Wolf. Tell mom to stay with Lily and say your going shopping with me. Please Sansa."

"The White Wol-... wait that's the bar you got stabbed! No way I'm driving you there, mom would kill me if she found out." Catelyn Stark had made it very clear that she didn't want Arya near that place again, Sansa wasn't going to take any changes.

"Come on Sansa, you have to help me. I know Robb broke Jon's nose, I just want to apologize properly." That made Sansa cave in, after all Robb had been truly an ass that day, and Jon didn't really looked like a bad person, so probably his bar was an okay place.

"Fine, but I guarantee you this will cost you."

Arya then thanked her over ten times and promised to babysit Lily for the rest of her life.

So as promised, after lunch Sansa drove to her parents house. She spent the whole ride trying to think of some plausible excuse, Arya hated shopping with a passion so she couldn't just tell her mom that's what they were going to do, just telling her mom she was going to spend time with Arya was already an huge red flag by itself. Growing the two of them always got along, occasionally they would fight but after a lecture by their father about how family is supposed to look out for one another they would make truce, but they weren't what you would call close, Arya had always been wild, as a kid she would spend her free time out of the house with the boys getting her knees scrapped and mud all over her clothes, Sansa on the other hand preferred to stay indoors baking and sewing with her mother, then when they moved to Kings Landing all of her time was redirected to Joffrey. But Sansa loved Arya, she might not always agree with her choices, because most times they are bad, but she's supported her with everything so if her sister wanted to go back to that bar the least she could to was drive her there.

When she arrived Arya was already waiting for her, she barely let Sansa have a proper conversation with their mom, that only brought more suspicions.

"Where are you two going anyway?" Catelyn Stark asked, she was eyeing them suspiciously, Sansa felt like she was fourteen again and was lying to her mom about some party she wanted to go.

"I...we need to...to...." Arya was failing so Sansa stepped in.

"My car! I need to change the oil of my car, and Arya knows someone who can do it." She tried to sound as convincing as possible.

"Yeah, my friend Gendry is a mechanic, he's offered to do it for free." Arya said, her mom just nodded.

"Okay do whatever needs to be done. I'll stay here and bake lemon cakes for my favourite granddaughter." Their mom was now looking at Lily, who was already eating chocolate chip cookies and smiling, she loved coming to her grandparents house because she could have as much sugar as she wanted.

"Thanks again for staying with her, mom," Catelyn just waved her hand, if she could she would be with Lily all the time, "and please don't tell her about Sunday." She whispered so Lily couldn't hear.

"Don't worry about it, I won't say a word about the party that woman is throwing." It was clear she wasn't pleased about it, and by the way Arya was curling her lip she wasn't either. Sansa just hoped everyone could be on their best behaviour Sunday, especially Robb and Arya.

After almost twenty minutes or so, they arrived in Flea Bottom. Sansa had never been in this part of town before and honestly she wasn't particularly enjoying it, her parents always thaught her not to judge a book by its cover and probably this place wasn't as bad as people made it look like, but there was a part of her that was scared that somehow Joffrey was going to find out that she was here and in a bar no less.

"Why did you come here when you ran away?" She asked her sister, only to try and distract herself from Joffrey.

"First I didn't ran away, I texted a few times it's not like I was missing. I just didn't say where I was because I knew you guys were going to freak out, as usual." Arya explained, she wasn't wrong. The Starks could be dramatic if they wanted to.

"You're probably thinking this is hell on earth, but I assure this place is great and so his Jon and Lisa. Mom and Robb are wrong about them, they're good people."

Sansa was about to find out, since she was already there. The moment she walked inside she was surprised, she wasn't sure what to expect but it wasn't this for sure, the bar had a beautiful aesthetic to it, it kind looked like those vintage biker bars, it had burned wood flooring, the walls were covered with different license plates and neon signs,(the one that stood out the most was one of a wolf, obviously), but not in an disorganized way or anything, they all seemed to have a purpose as to why they were placed there, a pool table and a darts machine and an classic jukebox, the tables stools and counter were all in reclaimed wood which gave it an old almost western vibe to the to the place, overall Sansa could see why Arya liked it here, this place was right up her alley, maybe this was probably because it was still very early but it seemed like a quiet place.

"What the fuck you're doing here?!" A girl asked from behind the counter, she was covered in tattoos and had a piercing on her lip, her hair which was in a messy bun was dark brown and she had big brown eyes and was wearing retro round glasses. Sansa recognised her from the hospital, she was Lisa.

"Fuck you! This is a public space." Arya said, her tone wasn't friendly. She was afraid the two of them would start fighting, but then after glaring at each other for a few seconds they bursted into to laughter.

"I gotta be honest, I missed having you here. You don't imagine the amount of money I've already lost because of the darts, at least with you I knew that there weren't any changes of losing." She said with a smile, Arya was right she looked like a nice person even if Sansa wasn't used to her crude language.

"This is my sister Sansa." Arya pointed at her, Lisa who was now next to them gave her an handshake.

"We've seen each other before, the circumstances weren't the greatest. By the way I'm sorry for my outburst." Lisa apologized sheepishly.

"It's understandable. You really have a cool bar, I quite liked it." Sansa tried to engage in conversation with her.

"It is, isn't? It's all Jon's doing, I just make sure people get drunk, which reminds me why are you two empty handed? Let's get you something to drink."

Lisa got them two beers and was talking to Arya about what had being going on the bar lately, when Jon appeared. Unlike the last time she saw him, his hair was now in a man bun, which only highlighted his facial features even more, his face wasn't swollen and covered in blood anymore, he was handsome no doubt, not to mention that he had a very strong physique, even stronger than her brother Robb, she also noticed he had a tattoo on his upper arm of a wolf, the same as Lisa. The moment he saw her he grinned, for some unknown reason Sansa blushed.

"I was wondering when were you going to come back. I hope you're better." Jon said to Arya.

"I'm strong as a horse, unlike you I can take a punch without falling." Arya joked, Jon's grin grew wider and he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Oh that's right, I have something in the back to show you, Gendry's been working on it for awhile now." Lisa said to Arya, her eyes began to sparkle with excitement.

The two of them left God knows where, and left her alone with Jon and two other customers who were in a table in the corner. Sansa had no idea what to say or do.

"I didn't picture you as the type of person to come here." Jon said, she looked at him confused, "I mean...you... it's just you look so different from your sister, forgive me if I'm being rude or too forward but you seem like a very fancy girl, we're not used to that in here." Jon was actually blushing, she almost laughed.

"Honestly I've never been here before, but my mom doesn't let Arya leave the house alone even though she's almost twenty, so she kind of dragged me here. But I'm glad, like I've said to Lisa you really have a nice bar." Sansa explained, while sipping her beer.

"Thanks, it wasn't easy you know. When I first got this place it was just four walls a broken ceiling and a bunch of rats, it took us a while but me and Lisa managed to make something with what we had."

"I have to ask, why "The White Wolf"?" Sansa was genuinely intrigued with the bar's name.

"When we first started fixing this place, every morning there was this small white husky that would follow us everywhere we went, he was actually the one who solved the rat problem. Anyway, we named him ghost because for a whole week we kept hearing noises and thought this place was haunted but it turns out it was him, we liked him so much that after a while we took him home with us and decided to name the bar in his honour." She could hear the pride in his voice, it was as if the dog was part of him.

"My daughter loves dogs, she's been asking for one in ages. I'm certain she would love to meet ghost."

"That little girl you were carrying in the hospital is your daughter?" Sansa only nodded, "you know if you want, you and Arya can bring her here sometime, Ghost despite his size is very friendly." Sansa could never do that, Joffrey would kill her.

"I would love to, but my husband wouldn't really approve of it." Sansa felt the need to mention Joffrey, as a warning to herself not linger any longer here. Jon's face lost all the happiness it had.

"He doesn't know you're here, does he?" Jon was asking, but she could tell he already had an answer.

"This wasn't planned and I... he's working so I didn't wanted to bother him, so yes he doesn't know." She was shaking, only now it was finally sinking in what she really had done.

"Don't worry Sansa, your secret is safe with me. You're still young and I'm sure that with a child you don't always have time for yourself, just know that you're welcome to come here whenever you want, I'll even close the bar if it's necessary. Of course Arya is going to come and Lisa will be here as well." Sansa wasn't going to lie, she would love to have a few hours just to herself without having to worry about Joffrey or any of that. And this bar seemed perfect for it.

"That's... thank you Jon." He only smiled.

Of course this is Kings Landing, everyone knows who she is and who she is married to, she should've predicted this already. Sansa had gotten a text message from Joffrey.

**Joffrey: "WHY ARE YOU IN FLEA BOTTOM?!"**

Immediately she called Arya and flew straight to her car, without saying a word to Jon and Lisa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Lily's birthday party, let's just say it's going to a memorable one.
> 
> Every chapter up to now it's kinda been just to  
> fill in the blanks, next chapter that's really when the plot starts to kick in and things get a lot more interesting.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lisa is in the right place at the right time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! You guys are amazing, thank you so much for all the support. ♥️
> 
> A lot of dialogue ahead, some cursing. 
> 
> Like I've said before, the real plots starts now... enjoy.

Lisa 

Saturday nights were always the worst in her opinion, the "White Wolf" would get so crowded that most times there'd be a line outside, so after eleven hours standing up Lisa wanted nothing more than just going to bed, but as she was about to do that her phone began to ring, it was her friend Martha.

"I'm sorry to be calling at this hour Lisa, am I interrupting something?" At least her friend had the decency to ask.

"No of course not." Only my beauty sleep, she said to herself

"Look I really need a favor from you, I wouldn't ask you if it was not important."

"Sure, whatever you want." Lisa tried to contain her irritation, she's always a cranky person after a long day at work.

"Tomorrow I was supposed to work in this kids party, the thing is tomorrow is the day they're allowing me to see William for the first time since he went to foster care, can you please cover for me? I've spoken to my boss, he says it's okay, only if you want to of course." Upon hearing that Lisa completely changed her mind, after everything Martha went through she deserved this, to see her son.

"Hell yeah I want, and don't worry the money will still be all yours. I'm so happy for you." 

"Thank you so much, you're an angel." Lisa would never use that word to describe herself, but she accepted it anyway.

Lisa and Martha met each other in rehab, back then they were both trainwrecks, after losing custody of her son because she was a neglecting parent Martha was sent to rehab by a judge. From all the people Lisa had been in rehab with, Martha was definitely the one who had the hardest time recovering mainly because she had started using when she was only fifteen which meant more than half of her life was around drugs, everytime she would leave the facility she would always come back months later after relapsing, Lisa better than anyone knew what it's like to see all the progress you've made go to waste, she too had relapsed once, luckily Jon was there to pick her and bring her back on track, if it wasn't for him she would've been death by now, the moment her family found out about her addiction they shunned her away, afraid of what people were going to say.

But now Martha seemed to finally be a different woman, she as been sober for over two years and now has a proper life, so after completing a bunch of programmes, she's finally being allowed to see her son, if there's anything Lisa can do to help her for sure she's going to do it without thinking twice. She was so happy for her friend.

Next morning when she woke up Jon was already up, that man looked like he didn't sleep at all, he would leave the house at five in the morning to run and would only come back at eight, that was one of his rituals, one of many they learned in rehab.

"Morning, boss." Lisa said, barely even awake.

"Why are you up so early on your day off?" Of course Jon was surprised, on her day off Lisa would only leave the bed way after noon.

"Martha asked me to go work in her place today, she's going to see her son." Jon's all face lit up at hearing that, Martha was also very important to him. They all saw each other as family, one big fucked up family.

"It's funny, when we first met you were a selfish little shit who didn't give a crap for anyone but herself. Look at you now, I couldn't be any prouder." The bastard almost made her cry, but he was right she was truly a bitch back then. 

"I'm going to ignore the fact that you called me little shit and thank you for your kind words." Jon just laughed.

They both left the house together, Jon took his truck and Lisa took her motorcycle, she had no idea where she was working or what she was supposed to do, she only knew that it was on the fancy part of town and it was a kids party, the thought of spending her Sunday with a bunch of kids on a sugar high made her want to turn back around, she had to constantly remind herself why she was doing this.

The moment she reached her destination and found out who she was going to be working for, she wanted to runaway as fast as she could. Lisa couldn't be here, she couldn't be near that woman not even for her friend's sake, she wasn't that strong, just seeing those green eyes again, hear that sweet but poisonous voice, those smiles full of malice was enough to make her want to put all the progress she has made in the trash. Lisa needed to go away but it was to late, Cersei Lannister had already seen her.

"Lisa? Is that you? Oh my, how have you changed." Cersei said in a mock voice, Lisa was feeling a thousand emotions at once. Cersei hasn't aged a day, her face still looks as cold as she remembers.

"I almost didn't recognize you, with all the tattoos and piercings, do you work for this company?" She was amused by the fact that a lion, as the Lannisters like to describe themselves, was working as a waitress.

"No, I have my own bar with a friend. I'm just doing a favor for someone, it feels great to help people, but I'm sure that's rather strange for you." Both of her hands were balled into fists, Cersei just kept smirking knowing she had gotten to Lisa.

"Well I'm really glad you're here, cousin. The next time your mother calls, I'll make sure to tell her I saw you, she'll be so happy." That was it, Lisa was going to punch Cersei, she didn't care about anything else anymore. 

"You there! Go get changed, we need you to unload the truck." A bald man, who probably was her boss for the day, called her. Thank God for him.

Lisa was Cersei Lannister second degree cousin, growing up she had spent pretty much all of her childhood in Cersei's family home, since Tywin was always throwing parties because he loved to rub in everybody's face how he was a rich son of a bitch, Tyrion and Jaime were okay but Cersei was the incarnation of evil, behind that image of powerful and independent woman she had built for herself, there was someone who was miserable and unhappy with her own life, so in order to feel better Cersei made sure to ruin other people's life's, including Lisa's. When she first started using drugs, she always kept it a secret despite everything she loved her parents and didn't want to make them suffer, but then somehow Cersei found out and didn't waste a minute in telling the truth. In that moment Tywin Lannister gave her father an ultimatum, or he would do something about her situation or he would lose his job, that same day despite her mother's pleas, Lisa was kicked out of her house, she has never forgiven her father for that, the fact that she lost everything only made her go into a darker path than the one before, two months later she overdosed. Ever since she left rehab she wasn't been able to see her mother, even though Lisa turned her life around she still hasn't gotten the courage to do it, it still hurts.

She had spent the last four hours setting the place, carrying food trays and liquor boxes to Cersei's garden before the guests arrived, she learnt in rehab that keeping the mind distracted can be a life saver, she was finally seeing the truth of it , Lisa still wanted to make Cersei eat out of a straw but she had to admit that working helped to keep herself contained, maybe once she has her paycheck and delivers it to Martha, she can settle the score with her cousin. 

She was sent to the kitchen to put some sweets in the fridge, so they wouldn't turn bad because of the heat. As she got there she could hear voices, it was clear that there was two people fighting, immediately she forgot all about the tray she was carrying and went to stand near the door, she saw Joffrey and Sansa, of course after all this was their daughter's party, with everything that happened she didn't even payed attention to that. Cersei's backyard was covered in unicorn balloons and had a face painting tent, bouncing houses and even horses with a spike on their heads, but she thought maybe it was some charity event, Cersei loved to make people believe she was Mother Theresa. All of the sudden Joffrey raised his voice.

"HOW?!" Joffrey screamed, everyone could hear him at this point but he didn't seem to care. 

"I...I...I-I don't know, please Joffrey let's talk about this at home, today's Lily special day." Sansa was trying to get closer to him, to calm him down yet all of her efforts were for nothing.

"My mother just told me about your bruises! You had to go and tell her didn't you? Little bitch!" Of course Cersei was behind this, Lisa doesn't know the all story but she's certain that Cersei didn't speak with Joffrey because she was trying to help Sansa. Joffrey's has always been momma's golden boy.

"She saw it! T-the other night, I swear it... please Joffrey, you hav-" before she could even finish, Joffrey smacked her across the face so hard that Sansa fell on the ground.

"Let that be warning! I'm curious to see what are you going to say about your black eye now." And with that Joffrey left, Lisa didn't know if she should go beat the crap out of him or come to Sansa's aid. She picked the latter.

"Sansa, are you alright? Can you stand?" Lisa asked as she crouched down near Sansa, who was crying her heart out, from pain or humiliation, she couldn't tell.

"W-what? How are you here?" Sansa asked sitting up straight.

"Does it really matter? Come on, I'm taking you out of here." Instantly Sansa grabbed her arm and began shaking her head so fast, Lisa feared she was going to snap her neck.

"No...I can't! The guests t-they...they're coming, my family will be here soon, I have to stay."

"Sansa, I'll drag you out of here by the hair if I have to! No way I'm going to let you stay with that piece of shit after what I saw. No one deserves to live this life, you don't have to fear him anymore, it's over!

"You don't understand! If I leave, I'll lose my daughter!" She was terrified, that bastard must have traumatize her.

"He won't! I know what I saw, no one will take your daughter way and give her to them. Me and Jon will help you." Their good friend Sam was a lawyer, Lisa was going to ask him for help.

Sansa looked at her face for a few seconds, searching for any sign of truth. She saw it, moments later she got up and was ready to leave that place. Before they could to that, they had to go and get Lily, who was outside with her uncle Tommen and her grandmother, Lisa was going to enjoy this. Sansa got next to them and picked her daughter up, something in her had changed, she didn't look scared anymore, if something she looked like she was finally fighting back, maybe knowing that she wasn't alone, that there were people willing to go against Joffrey and his family despite the consequences (she knew things were just getting started), gave her enough strength to say enough is enough.

"Were do you think you're going with my grandaughter, you whore?!" Cersei asked, it was the first time Lisa ever saw her like this, out of control. 

The few guests that had arrived already, and the people working there were all looking at them. Lisa decided to give them a show, let them know who Joffrey, who was nowhere to be seen, truly was.

"You know what? Fuck you, fuck your whole family, fuck your son! Sansa isn't a punching bag, do you hear me! The next time your son lays a hand one her, I'll run him over with my truck!" She knew she had gone to far, but in that moment she was finally letting out everything she's ever went through because of that family, it felt good.

They decided to take Sansa's car since Lisa had brought her motorcycle, she still had to figure out a way of coming back to get it. At first she wanted to take Sansa to her parents house but she refused, Sansa didn't want her family to know the whole story, not yet at least, so Lisa made her way to the bar, Jon was there and he better than anyone knew how to deal with this, in other words he was a lot more calmer than Lisa, if it was up to her she would call in a few favors and have a couple of men giving Joffrey the beating of a life time. Sansa's daughter cried the whole time, she was probably scared of Lisa, which was understandable of course. Sansa however kept her head held high, there was still hope, Joffrey didn't break her, he tried but failed miserably, Sansa looked even feistier than her sister Arya. Another thing she learnt in rehab was to always know your limits, if you overstep them, bad things are bound to happen. Joffrey had brought Sansa to her limit, the way she was holding her daughter, said she wasn't going to let her go without a fight. When Arya was drunk she would joke and say the Starks had the blood of the wolf, maybe she wasn't entirely wrong.

They made it to the bar's parking lot in record time but as they were about to leave the car, Lily's cries intensified and she wouldn't leave for anything in this world.

"No mommy! I-I... I want to go home! Please, please!" Lisa wasn't a sentimental person but seeing that little girl cry tore her heart to pieces. 

She had an idea, she just hoped it might work. She whistled and in a matter of seconds Ghost appeared, he would always come with them to the bar, though most times he would be gone all day and only return at night near closing hours, other times he could sense something was wrong and would stay near the door or in the back.

"I want you to meet someone, this is Ghost," Lisa showed Lily her friend, she stopped crying and was more comfortable now, "you can pet him, he loves it. Whenever I'm scared or in a situation I'm not used to, Ghost keeps me safe. As long as you stay with him, nothing wrong is going to happen, I promise." That did the trick, Lily spent a few minutes near Ghost and only then decided to let Sansa carry her inside, Ghost never left their side.

"The bar is closed everyone out!" She clapped her hands and started putting people on the street, Jon was about to say something to her but then he saw Sansa, her eye was swollen shut at this point, it didn't take much to see what had happened.

"You heard her, the bar is closed. Tomorrow the drinks are on the house." At once they all left, thinking they wouldn't pay for their drinks the next day. 

"What happened?! Sansa your eye!" Jon was already getting an ice pack. "Lisa, tel-"

"Later Jon, I'll explain it later. Call Sam and telling him it's urgent."

"Wait are you really going to do this?" Sansa asked now that Lily was finally distracted playing with Ghost next to the pool table.

"We're not going to do anything, if you want to return to Joffrey I'll drive you there myself, if you want a divorce, we'll both do our best to make sure you keep Lily with you, our friend Sam his one of the best at his job, if there's someone who can help you it's him." Lisa said, Sansa had tears in her eyes but they were of joy.

Jon was about to say something else to Sansa, when they heard shots being fired outside, they all froze in their spot.

"Come out of there! You're mine Sansa Stark!" Joffrey had follow them.

Next thing she knows, Jon was already heading towards the door, she knew he always carried a gun with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is that too much angst? 
> 
> Yes Lisa is a Lannister, I'll get to that in the next chapters.
> 
> Next chapter it's Jon's PoV.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The calm before the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter it might be very dialogue heavy for some, but the next chapters will make up for it. 
> 
> Also if you're curious about their age:  
> Sansa Stark:24  
> Jon Snow:27  
> Joffrey Baratheon:26  
> Lisa:25  
> Lily Baratheon:5  
> Ned Stark:51  
> Catelyn Stark:49  
> Arya Stark:19  
> Robb Stark:27  
> Brandon Stark:18  
> Rickon Stark:15  
> Cersei Lannister:49  
> Robert Baratheon:52

Jon Snow

There he was, Joffrey Baratheon, standing in the middle of the parking lot with a gun pointed at Jon's face, yet he wasn't afraid. Jon as been in this position before, and with bigger and tougher men than Joffrey. Sansa's face kept flashing trough his mind, he couldn't think of nothing else but her, he's never felt so much anger in his whole being as he's feeling now, the gun that he has in his back pocket feels like it's burning, as if it doesn't belong there, Jon wants nothing more than to grab it and take Joffrey's life with it, he has to control himself not to do it, he can't allow Sansa to see him like this, he can't become the person he promised not be to his mother. Most importantly a bullet to the head would be mercy, Joffrey doesn't deserve it.

"Sansa come out of there, you bitch! No one walks way from me! You're wrong if you think your body guard is going to safe you, you're a dead woman! I've had enough of you, you're going to pay for all you've done!" Jon already had his hand on the gun, he was ready to make Joffrey take back is words, no killing just making feel as much pain as possible. When all of the sudden...

Lisa came out of nowhere and began sprinting towards Joffrey, she was so fast he didn't even had the time to react, she tackled him to the ground and started pummeling his face, punch after punch she couldn't seem to stop, all of the sudden this wasn't about Sansa anymore, whatever had happened in her past, Joffrey was involved in it, this was personal, every punch had a motive, Lisa was a woman on a mission. Jon had to step in, if he didn't Joffrey would die, it was what he deserve but still it was murder, he couldn't allow his best friend to spend the rest of her life behind bars because of that little twat.

When he grabbed Lisa's arm and she turned around, Jon was surprised with what he saw, Lisa had tears rushing down her face, yet she was emotionless, she just got up and went back inside as if nothing happened. Joffrey was the one who took the beating, but his friend was the one who looked broken.

He left Joffrey outside on the ground whimpering in pain, no doubt his jaw and nose were broken, not to mention the teeth that were scattered around the floor. He was afraid for Lisa's, Joffrey wasn't going to forget what happened, there would be consequences.

When he got back inside, Sansa was behind the bar trying her hardest not to cry while holding a hysterical Lily to her chest, Lisa was sitting in one of the stools, both of her knuckles were bloody and swollen, yet she didn't seemed to feel any pain, her face remained stony. Only when Ghost, who was at their side, began to growl that's when Sansa noticed he had come back, she let out a shaky breath and immediately looked like a weight at left her shoulders. Jon wanted to comfort her, tell her Joffrey would never harm her, but he was afraid it would all be idle lies, Joffrey was not going to stop anytime soon, and Sansa knew it too, he could tell in the way she was looking at him. His main priority at that point was his best friend, he barely even recognized her, probably Lisa didn't too.

"Lisa" she didn't respond, "Lisa!" 

"I... I'm going to feed Ghost, he's probably starving." That was a lie, but he knew the bond Lisa shared with their dog, Ghost had a way of calming people, that it was still surprising to even him.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Sansa slowly crumbling, yet Lily looked a lot more calmer then when he arrived minutes ago, Jon was glad for it. Lily was too young to understand what was going on but she wasn't completely oblivious, after all she was in a strange place with strange people instead of being at home with all of her family celebrating.

Lisa noticed Sansa's behaviour too, and despite being in bad shape she still wanted to help. "Hey kid, wanna help me with Ghost?" The little girl grinned and went with Lisa to the back.

The moment they left, Sansa started sobbing as if she was a child herself, Jon wanted to go outside and finish Lisa's work. He didn't even think twice, he hugged her and Sansa didn't object instead she just cried onto his shoulder for minutes, all the while he kept rubbing her back in silence, whatever he said at this point would be useless, that's even if he knew what to say. He's never been in a situation like this before, one where he as no control, surprisingly enough none of what was happening made him want to take drugs, it was crazy but he thought it had something to do with Sansa's presence, maybe she was some kind of medicine he didn't even knew existed or needed.

"It's all my fault." Sansa whispered, it wasn't intended for him to hear but he did.

"No it's not, you're doing the right thing, you're finally breaking free, you should be proud of yourself." That was the wrong thing to say, Sansa let go of him and turn her back, she was angry.

"If you and Lisa had minded your own business I wouldn't be here in the first place! Even if I go home, Joffrey won't want me back, not after what happened. He only wants my daughter, to take her away from me! I'm going to lose my child because of you two! You should be proud." Jon wasn't expecting that, all of her anger towards him. Sansa was not only blaming them but she was also ready to go back to Joffrey, and go through that hell again.

"Sansa I've learned a long time ago than we can't spend our lifes thinking "what if". What if Joffrey remains true to his word and ends up by taking your daughter away from you, or what if my friend Sam actually does a decent job and gets you the help you need. These are all questions no one as answers for it because it's up to us to decide what we want to ask. Do you want to see that monster tormenting you for the rest of your life, or do you want to be able to go to bed at night knowing that when you wake up you're safe, and can actually give your daughter some happiness instead of a staged one." That was one of the first things he's ever heard in rehab, it changed him, hopefully it could do the same for Sansa.

"For years I've wished to escape Joffrey, but that's all it was, a wish. Now that's real, I'm terrified, I don't know what do anymore. You don't know his family, they won't stop." She looked so fragile in that moment. "I'm so sorry, I'm being unreasonable, I should be thanking you not making a scene." 

"It's understanda-" before Jon could finish, the door opened and Sam appeared. Lisa must've called him, earlier.

Jon has known Sam since he was no more than a boy. Sam transferred to Jon's school and quickly became everyone's favourite person to make fun of, Jon put a stop to it, his not proud of it but it worked, no one ever called Sam "piggy" for the rest of their high school years. Ever since then the two have been inseparable, even when Jon went in to rehab Sam would go and visit him every week, and before when his mother was in the hospital Sam would cover for him at their part time job in the grocery store, his friend would sometimes spend hours with Jon in the hospital helping him study, he was one of the few people Jon could count on. Plus his friend was a lawyer and probably the smartest person he has ever met, Sam was a shy and sometimes awkward person, but when he walks inside a court room he becomes someone else entirely different, Sam owns the place, Jon has no doubts he can bring Joffrey to justice.

As Jon already suspected, Sam began to stammer and shake, his friend wasn't used to fights and seeing people hurt.

"Sansa, this is my friend Sam. He's the lawyer I talked about, hopefully he's going to help." Jon was now looking directly at his friend, Sam was frowning

"What's going on, Jon? Lisa called half an hour ago, screaming at the phone for me to come here, she said it was urgent." Sam asked him, Jon decided to let Sansa do the talking, since he knew very little as well.

Sansa explained Sam all the gruesome details, how Joffrey would beat her, how he would even rape her, all of it, she even showed some of her scars, for a moment he thought he was going to be sick. How could've someone endured that for all this time? Jon expected Sam to become nervous or uncomfortable, but he wasn't, if something his friend looked like he was filled with anger, that was a very uncommon thing for Samwell Tarly, he was one of the most peaceful people he's ever met but Jon his certain that if he could he too would punch Joffrey. When Sansa began to explain who Joffrey's family was, Sam looked at him and Jon could see what he meant, they had very little changes of winning this case on court, if Sansa decides to indeed ask for a divorce.

"Tywin Lannister has pretty much every cop and judge of Kings Landing in his pocket, if he wants he can take your daughter from you as we speak." Sam wasn't really helping whatsoever, their friendship was the only thing keeping Jon from hitting him.

"You maybe right, but Lisa saw Joffrey beat Sansa, look at her eye!" Jon tried to not get angry, after all Sam was just telling things the way they were.

"Given Lisa's history, she might not be a reliable witness, they can say she was on drugs, but then again if somehow we can prove that's a lie, we might have a chance, not to mention that Joffrey did come here armed, if the cameras caught that, it's only going to help. The best thing we can do now is going to the police, make sure Sansa gets checked in the hospital, only then we can proceed with this case." Jon saw Sansa smile, they didn't had the odds at their side, but he was hopeful.

"Are you going to help me? On court I mean." Sansa asked.

"You've got yourself a lawyer, Sansa." Straight away she ran into Sam's arms, Jon was forever in his debt.

After a few more minutes discussing with Sansa what was going to happen, Sam left with the promise that he was going to make sure he found out anything that might help them, Jon already knew how he was going to do this, Lisa. His friend knew a lot of people, people with important connections. Jon still wanted to ask her why she reacted the way she did, but Lisa was a fortress, he wasn't going to get answers anytime soon, he was so focused on helping Sansa that he actually had to stop for a moment and think about what his friend had in store for the future, she had almost killed Joffrey Baratheon after all. As if Lisa knew Jon was thinking about her, she appeared with Lily in her arms, the girl seemed to get along with her.

"Clean up the place, the Starks are coming." Sansa jumped out of her seat, Jon tought for a second that she wanted to run away.

"How?" He asked.

"Arya called, Cersei told them, when they got at her house, that I dragged Sansa out of the party with her daughter, and then to make matters worse, Joffrey arrived there minutes ago, you can already imagine what he's been telling them, don't get too shocked if they show up here with all the police department of Kings Landing."

This wasn't good, apart from Arya and now Sansa, the rest of the Stark family didn't like him and Lisa, the last time he saw Robb Stark he got himself a broken nose, not to mention that Joffrey probably had told a thousand lies about what really happened and of course the Starks must've have believed in all of them, since Joffrey was the one with the bruises and cuts, courtesy of Lisa. Sansa looked ashamed of herself, her family clearly didn't know the truth about her marriage, she must be thinking that they're are going to judge her because she stayed with Joffrey all this time, or because she lied to them, Jon knew exactly what's that like. When he left rehab he spend two months without leaving the house, he had no family but still he didn't want his friends to see him like that, in the end he realised he was wrong, they all stayed so will the Starks, Sansa needs them now more then ever.

"My... they can't see me, I have to leave." Sansa took Lily from Lisa's arms and was making towards the door.

"I'm a recovering drug addict." This was the first time Lisa said it to someone other than Jon, and the people they had gone to rehab with. "When my family found out about my addiction, they threw me onto the street with nothing but the clothes on my body, even to this day they won't speak with me or about me, I'm dead in their eyes. Your family is different, that day in the hospital I saw it. Trust me you'll want to have them at your side, no one deserves to go through all of this alone, I've tried and let me tell you, it's not worth it." Jon didn't know about any of this, that explained a lot.

Minutes later the Starks arrived, not all of them of course, only Sansa's mother, father, and older brother. As soon as Robb laided eyes on him, he grabbed Jon by the shirt and was ready for round two, but then Sansa spoke, when he saw her face all changed, her family didn't say a word, they just kept staring at her, hoping and praying that it wasn't real, that Sansa hadn't spend this last few years with a heartless monster, guilt was the only word Jon could use to describe all three of them, he had never met Sansa's father before not even in the day of Arya's accident, but now Ned Stark, as he was called, had tears in his eyes, he was rather strange to see a man like that, looking like he had just commited the worst mistake of his life, Robb on the other hand, by the way his jaw was flexing and how his nostrils were flaring, no doubt he wanted to kill Joffrey, the list just kept on getting longer. The one who affect him the most was her mother, it was like déjà vu all over again, he had seen that expression before, one of utter despair and pain, just like his own mother. Tears were streaming down her cheeks yet she couldn't seemed to move to go to her daughter.

"I wanted to tell you." It's all Sansa said, yet those words carried volumes, he could hear all that had been left unspoken and so did her family.

Her mother finally broke free from her transe and hugged her daughter, Sansa held on to her for dear life, as if only now she can feel safe, knowing that the ones she loves the most are there with her. Jon doesn't know why but this makes him somewhat sad, to know that despite everything he wasn't the one to make her feel that way, it was stupid of course after all they were her family, Jon was nothing more than than Arya's friend, the one she met a few weeks ago. 

Robb who had let go of Jon minutes ago, was in front of him again, only this time he didn't seem angry, instead Jon only saw regret.

"My father always taught me to own up to my mistakes, I was wrong about you Jon. I hope you can apologize what I did to you." Robb extended his had, gladly Jon accepted it.

"You're the one who helped my daughter, aren't you?" Sansa's father had just came to stand near his son.

"No, I mean yes but the one who took her out of that house and faced Joffrey was Lisa." Jon pointed to his friend, Lisa laughed at his face.

"Jon almost makes it look like I dragged Sansa out of there against her will, I did nothing Mr. Stark. Sansa was the one who saved herself, she's the one who deserves the compliments, not me." Lisa said looking at Ned Stark, but she was speaking directly to Sansa.

"Sansa, you're not returning to your home ever again, you and Lily will stay with us, tomorrow I'll call my lawyers and we'll deal with this, all of it." Ned Stark was probably the most imposing man his ever seen in his life.

"All of it?" Sansa asked, Jon was confused by her question.

"I can't keep working with Robert after what happened, for all I know he probably knew about what was going on, he and that woman. You're more important than any Company in the world." Jon guessed that this was what good fathers did, but then again he had nothing to compare with.

"They'll all pay for it! It's my fault, I should've seen it years ago, all makes sense now, the fact that you rarely showed up at our home, the long sleeves, the calls that were never answered. For almost ten years I've been blind, that's over now." Her mother's voice was pure steel, she too wanted to get back at Joffrey.

"I already have the all I need, Jon's friend is going to help me, tomorrow I'm going to the police to press charges against Joffrey and then file for a divorce. Lisa's right I need to do this by myself." He couldn't even explain what he was feeling upon seeing Sansa like that, taking hold of her life.

"You're a romantic fool, Jon Snow" Lisa whispered in his hear once everybody was distracted.

"What?"

"You think I haven't seen it? You're in love." There was no point in denying it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always I'm looking forward to hear what all of you have to say, or if you want me to add something or have some suggestions.
> 
> So the storyline is pretty much established, so embrace yourselves because shit's about to hit the fan, the story will get darker and more violent (rating might change) and Sansa and Jon's relationship starts to develop a lot more quicker. Next chapter things take a turn for the worst.


	7. Update

Sorry if I've not been as active lately but I have an explanation for it...

About a few days ago I had some kind of epiphany, and decided to take this story into a whole new direction, which means a lot of the chapters I've already had written were deleted, including chapter 7 which had been already posted, anyway I'm enjoying a lot more what I'm writing and hopefully you guys will too. Downside is I'm not going to be able to post as fast as before but I'll try my best, plus I have a lot of free time so maybe it won't be that bad.

Because I'm pretty much starting all over again, feel free to give your opinion on what you might want to see next, or any other thing you'll like to add to the story.

As always thank you so much for all the kind words and kudos, they all make me want to write even more. You guys are awesome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If all goes according to plan, I'll update tomorrow or even today.


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa is finally free, still she has to deal with all the scars that Joffrey's left behind, and with the toll that took on her, one she's not sure she's able to handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few days ago I was watching this news documentary about the amount of people who die because of domestic violence and that made me realize I was going on the wrong direction, so I've deleted pretty much every chapter I was planning on posting and decided to try again. I want to keep this story as real as possible, even though this is a fan fiction website I still want to showcase as best as I can what thousands of women and men go trough everyday. Hopefully you'll enjoy reading it as much as I'm enjoying writing it.

Sansa Stark

"Joffrey! Please!" It didn't matter how much she screamed, no one seemed to hear.

"Mommy?! Mommy?!" Lily's hands shaking her, and her cries brought Sansa back to reality.

It had been over a week since she left Joffrey, yet his face would still haunt her dreams every night, it was always the same one, she was with Lily playing in the park when all of the sudden Joffrey and his mother would appear and rip her daughter from her arms, while Sansa just watched, her whole body unable to move. She would wake up covered in sweat, gasping for air and with tears flowing down her cheeks, up until now she's been able to keep it to herself, but tonight her screams must've been so loud that they woke up her daughter, who would sleep next to her. Sansa glanced at Lily and immediately wanted to shout at herself, her daughter was shaking, her eyes wide open, and she looked almost as scared as her.

"Why are you crying, mommy?" Lily asked, still crying.

"I...it was only a bad dream, don't worry. Mommy is fine." She tried to steady her voice, she didn't want to fright Lily even more.

"You were calling daddy's name, where is he?" Sansa had been dreading that moment for days now.

Ever since moving back to her parents house, she hasn't allowed Joffrey to see Lily, and of course being Joffrey he hasn't care about seeing her either, still that didn't mean things were over, she knew he was up to something, specially since she had pressed charges against him and was in the process of filling for a divorce, Sam had told her that it will give her an advantage in court, if it came to it, which Sansa was certain it would, Joffrey was going to try his best to take Lily away from her. She had told her daughter that Joffrey was away in a business trip, yet she couldn't keep the lie any longer, Lily was growing more suspicious every day, she had to find out to truth, or part of it.

"Mommy has to tell you something." Sansa took a deep breath and placed Lily on her lap.

"You see, mommy and daddy aren't going to stay married anymore, which means we won't live together ever again."

"Why? Don't you love daddy?" It was clear Lily was still very confused, it wasn't fair that she had to go through all of this.

"I did once. But this things are complicated, sometimes adults fight and when they do it all changes, and it's for the best if they decide to go their separate ways." She didn't have it in herself to explain what really had happened, Lily was to young for that still, maybe when she's older Sansa will tell her everything.

Lily didn't say a word, instead she just burst into tears and buried her face in Sansa's neck, she hated Joffrey for putting their daughter trough such pain, yet she was guilty too, after all he was the man she chose to marry and have children with, even though she had no idea how he was going to turn she should've known. Lily was the one who was going to suffer the most with all that was happening, she was only five years old, Sansa couldn't ask her to do any of this, and there was still the possibility that she had to go to court and say which parent she wanted to stay with, that scared Sansa more than she cared to admit it. She and her daughter were close, they had a bond that was unbreakable, but Lily was just a little girl who wanted to please both of her parents, and Sansa knew she desperately seeks Joffrey's approval in everything she does, if somehow he manages to manipulate Lily into staying with him, Sansa doesn't know what to do, she'll probably kill herself before have to face a life where her daughter is not present, because that's the truth of it, if Joffrey wins the case she'll never see Lily again, they'll make sure of it.

Next morning when she woke up Lily wasn't in bed, Sansa wasn't worried, she was already expecting it actually, that was her daughter's way of dealing with things, whenever something was bothering or upsetting her, Lily would spend a large part of her day alone playing with her toys, but then at night while Sansa would tuck her into bed, she would come up with a thousand questions, hoping to get some kind of explanation, she just needed time. Meanwhile she grabbed her phone to see what time it was, and of course as it had become almost a routine, she had gotten a text from Jon.

**Jon Snow: Good Morning.**

In these last days, Sansa has gotten to know Jon a lot better, he would call her everyday to ask how she and Lily were doing, or if he was busy he would text her, sometimes at night they would talk for hours, despite his somber look Jon was actually a very funny person and someone she could rely on. At first she had been embarrassed but she would cry on the phone with him, immediately he told her there was nothing to be ashamed of and that he was always going to be there to hear her, and so that's what she did, everything that's she's been building inside for years, she poured it all out for Jon to hear, when she told him she was the one to blame because of how her life turned out, he had told her otherwise, when she couldn't breathe because of her panic, Jon had stayed all night awake on the other side just telling her to exhale and that everything was going word out.

She couldn't be anymore grateful for that, her family was trying her best to help her, but Sansa didn't want to worry them even more than what they already were, her mother had cried for days after she accompanied Sansa to the police station, the moment she began telling officer Brienne everything that happened, when she showed the marks, her mother had broken down. Her father wasn't the same anymore, he had kept his word and ended his partnership with Robert, that of course was killing him, he and Robert Baratheon were childhood friends, it was much more than just business for them. Her siblings however were different, Arya had to be held by Rickon when she found out what happened, otherwise she would've killed Joffrey herself, Robb was the same but more intense, and his wife Maergery despite not doing it on purpose, would call or text Sansa every five minutes asking if she was okay and constantly would send her emails about domestic violence, her younger brothers Bran and Rickon were the ones who seemed to understand that Sansa needed space, Bran has always been very good at reading people, and Rickon was a teenager who probably didn't quite understand the whole situation.

"Good morning." Sansa said to her family the moment she arrived at the kitchen. Robb lived with Maergery and Bran was in college, so it was just her, Rickon, Arya, and their parents at the house. Lily wasn't with them, most likely she was watching cartoons in the living room.

"Good morning." They all replied in unison.

"Did you sleep well?" Her mother asked while pouring coffee on her cup, Sansa only nodded.

Rickon was just telling their parents about something related to school, when the doorbell rang. Even now that she was safe, that sound would still startle her.

Arya rushed to the door, when she returned much to Sansa's own surprise, Jon and Lisa were with her. Immediately her mom smiled, there was something else she was getting used to, despite her fear, her family accepted Jon and Lisa with open arms, even Robb became friends with Jon, she found that the the of them had actually a night out with a couple of other guys, not to mention that her mother was very nice to him, even nicer than what she used to be with Joffrey. And Lisa everybody simply adored her, her mom has even said she sees her as her own daughter, and it's only been a week or so, but of course it's not hard to like her, Lisa despite some of the things Jon has told her, is one of the most funny and positive people Sansa has ever met, she's actually the one who has been making things lighter around the house.

"Good morning, sorry we've come this early." Jon said sheepishly, Sansa had to smile.

"Of course not, you're always welcome at our house." Her father told them, he too like them, mainly because of what they did to help her.

"Is Lily awake? We have a late birthday present for her." Lisa was grinning from ear to ear, judging by the look on everyone else's face, they already knew what was going on.

After Sansa called her, Lily appeared in the kitchen and rushed to Lisa's arms, the two gave their secret handshake and then Lisa left, only to return minutes later with a small grey and white husky, Sansa couldn't even believe what she was seeing. Lily began jumping up and down with excitement and then carefully took the little puppy from Lisa's arms, Arya and Rickon were at her side petting the dog as well, while her mom and dad watched the scene in front of them with a warm smile, this had all been planned.

"You remembered?" One of the first things she had told Jon was that Lily always wanted a dog, she never thought that he would go this far. Her own father couldn't even remember her birthday.

"Of course, I talked to your parents a few days ago and they told me it was actually a good idea. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I wanted to surprise you as well, I hope it's okay." Jon always seemed nervous around her, honestly she thought it was cute.

"It's more than okay, actually I've decided to tell her the truth last night and she's...it was hard on her, I can think of anything better to lift her mood than a puppy." Jon just squeezed her hand in reassurance, it wasn't the first time but still it made her blush.

"Lady?! And you want her to wear a tu-tu?!" Lisa almost shouted with an horrified expression on her face, it appears Lily had already given the dog a name. "That's just not right." Everybody started to laugh but it was obvious Lisa couldn't find the humour in it, or at least was trying her best to look mad, but Sansa knew she was just joking, as always.

Before Sansa could even realize, everyone had left outside to play with Lady, she was positive Arya was behind this. Jon and her just stood in the kitchen, both unsure of what to say, it was weird how in the phone surrounded by the security of not staring at each others eyes they could talk for hours and hours. Maybe it was the fact that her body was still covered in scars and bruises, or because it has been a while since she felt pretty, Joffrey did that. He took that sweet innocent girl who used to love getting dressed and wear makeup and made her become this woman who couldn't even go outside if her skin was too exposed, when they started dating he would say he liked her pretty, on their wedding night as he was drunk he told her she was nothing more than a pretty face, over the years that became almost a prayer in his lips ' _all beauty, no brains_ ', so Sansa stooped caring about looking good, she stopped seeing her self in the mirror, knowing that if she did, she would see Joffrey was right, she was just an object, something he could display in dinner parties and to his friends.

Sansa didn't care about looks anymore, Joffrey was beautiful and in the end he turned out to be a monster.

She would be lying if she said she didn't feel anything for Jon, he was everything she's ever wished in a man, that was the problem, Jon was kind and she was sure he would never be able to mistreat anyone on purpose, he deserved someone who could love him, and how could Sansa love Jon if she didn't even love herself. She couldn't, how can you love someone who is weak and makes the people surrounding them suffer, someone that was shallow and arrogant, someone who turned her back on family because of a stupid dream?

Unfortunately Sansa was all of those things, because she could find millions of excuses as to why she stayed with Joffrey, but in the end she was the one who didn't choose to leave sooner, the first time he gave her a black eye instead of running away, Sansa began crying in her pillow, or when he fucked her against her will only weeks after giving birth, ripping all of her stitches, all those times and so many others, she always stayed. It's like some part of her actually enjoyed the pain and the humiliation, and now she was paying the price, her dad quit a job he loved, her mom despite not showing was suffering, Lily was at risk of being taken away from her, and of course Jon and Lisa had no idea what they had gotten themselves into. She knew Joffrey too damn well, he was not going to leave things like that, she feared for the safety of her friends, friends she didn't deserve.

She felt her face grow wet, she had started crying, of course she did after all she was weak, Joffrey loved to remind her of that.

"Sansa? What's wrong?" Jon asked, worry written all over his face. Sansa couldn't breathe anymore.

"I-I... sorry Jon, I'm not feeling well. Tell...if my family asks I'm in my room." And like that Sansa sprinted towards the bathroom upstairs and almost without having the chance, she started trowing up violently in the toilet, felling disgusted at herself. She could hear Jon on the other side of the door, yet he didn't walk in or talk to her, she couldn't be anymore grateful for that, if he saw her now he would see the truth about her and she didn't want that, she'll never be good enough for him but still Sansa hopes she can keep him in her life for just a little bit longer.

She just wanted to feel like herself again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was the first of many changes, Sansa and Jon will get closer very soon, but first there's the healing process.


	9. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon and Sansa are experts in overthinking, luckily they have Lisa around. But happiness doesn't always last long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jon and Sansa's relationship is finally starting to develop a lot more, I hope I'm not rushing this, I personally think that the timing is great, but as always you guys are the ones in charge.

Jon Snow

It's been a week since Jon last saw Sansa, he and Lisa had decided to gift Lily with a puppy in order to try and cheer her up a bit, it had worked, the moment that little girl saw the husky he had bought only the day before, her all face lit up, Jon could've been any happier for that. But then as everybody went outside to play with the dog, he and Sansa became alone and things took a turn for the worst, they didn't even had a chance to speak properly, in one minute she was laughing with all of them in the other she was running away from him. Jon kind of understood this, the truth is that after finding about Sansa's situation, Jon began doing some research on domestic violence and the sequels that it leaves behind, Sansa may not show it because of her daughter, but Jon knows she's suffering and that's killing him. 

Lisa had been right when she said he was in love with her, he didn't mean it to happen it just did, the moment he saw her in that hospital corridor something inside of him changed, and then the day she came into his bar bruised and crying, when she clutch onto him for dear life, that's when he realised that there was no way of turning back, he loved Sansa Stark. The more he got to know her, the real her not the character she had built because of Joffrey, the more in love he became, when he told her about his past and his demons, he was expecting judgement but all he found was support, he didn't like to admit it but Jon wasn't a good person, God knows the things his done to support his addiction and the people he's let down and hurt, yet Sansa saw past that, she had a way of looking at people differently, she could actually see some good in him, even when he himself couldn't. He knew he didn't deserve someone like Sansa, after everything she's been through the last thing she needs is someone who can end up bringing even more trouble into her live, that doesn't mean it's easy to stay away. He just wants to help her, but Jon doesn't have a clue how, she doesn't answers his calls or replies his texts, whenever he asks Arya if he can show up at their place, she says he can but that Sansa won't leave her room, it's pretty clear he's the cause of it. Everyday it just gets worse, all this pressure his finally getting to him, which means the cravings are returning, still he refuses to leave Sansa to deal with this all by herself, specially after what he found out last night.

Jon had just came back from the bar when he got the phonecall from Sam, Joffrey had contested the divorce, as Jon knew he would, and to make matters worse, he had remained truth to his word and now was in the process of trying to obtain Lily's full custody. He didn't know much about all that involved that, but Sam had explained that now Joffrey and Sansa had to go to court and present their case, and both will be heard by a judge about each side of the case, Sam being Sansa's attorney has the chance to call on witnesses to prove that Sansa should indeed get custody of Lily, not to mention that Joffrey had been charged with domestic violence, which was going to help them a lot. But then Sam told him that Joffrey had hired Petyr Baelish to be his attorney, Jon didn't know the man but from what his friend told him, he was as dirty as they get, and of course Joffrey's grandfather was a very powerful man who had a lot of people in his pocket.

Sansa must be a mess right now, he's seen how much she loves Lily, just the thought of not being able to be with her daughter must be destroying Sansa.

"A penny for your thoughts." Jon didn't even hear Lisa coming in, she had just taken Ghost for a walk.

"I would be a rich man by now." He commented dryly.

"If that's so, make sure you buy yourself a proper truck." He actually had to laugh, his truck has definitely seen better days for sure.

"Have you ever felt like a failure? No matter what you do, you just can seem to get it right?" Jon was hoping that out of all people, Lisa could give him some answers.

"Jon, you just pretty much summoned my all life, so yeah I know exactly how it feels. And I know exactly what you have to do."

"What?" He asked, Lisa sat down and looked at him as she had just said the most obvious thing ever.

"I love you, I really do but sometimes you can be thick as a wall. I know that you spent your days sulking, even more than you use to, because of Sansa, so just do something about it. Go see her."

"She doesn't want me too!" He was getting irritated.

"Did she tell you that?! No she didn't! Goddamnit Jon, don't you see that shutting herself down from everyone it's her way of coping?! But that doesn't mean she doesn't want to see you, if something you're probably the only person that can help her right now!" Lisa was shouting too, but she couldn't be any more right.

"Put on your jacket, we're leaving. I'll drive." It was in moments like this he thanked God for putting Lisa in his life.

The both of them got inside his crappy truck and headed out to the Stark's house, he decided not to call and say he was going there, Jon knew Sansa's family probably wouldn't be happy with that, they liked him enough but still he couldn't just show up there in the middle of the night without any explanation, but that was the only way, if Sansa found out he was coming, she would just come up with some excuse not to see him. 

Lisa could read him as a book, so she spent the whole car ride in silence, choosing to give him space for his own thoughts, which were racing all over the place, he kept trying to think of what to say, and planing all of this speeches in his head only to discard them at once. Jon doesn't know how bad is the damage Joffrey left on Sansa, or if she's ever going to recover from that trauma, he's terrified of hearing her say that in fact she doesn't want him in her life, if that's the answer then he doesn't know what he'll do. Not even Ygritte, his ex girlfriend, has ever made him feel this way, no other woman has, only Sansa. His Sansa.

Finally they had arrived, and after a few minutes and almost a slap from Lisa, Jon gathered the courage to walk out of his truck and knock on the door. When he did, he and Lisa were greeted by Catelyn Stark, she was surprised by seeing them this late at her door, but actually looked relieved.

"I was wondering when we were going to be seeing you again." She said in that kind tone of hers.

"I'm really sorry about showing up unannounced, but I need to speak with Sansa." He was almost desperate at this point.

"Come in, she's in the kitchen helping me. You know the way."

Rather than following him, Catelyn and Lisa went to the living room where Lily and Sansa's siblings already were, Lily who was busing playing with Lady, didn't notice him but the others did, no one said a thing to Jon instead just gave him a nod, it looked like they were expecting him to come. Maybe after all this wasn't a bad idea.

Sansa had her back turned against him and was in the process of drying up the dishes, she was wearing black leggings and a loose knit sweater in grey, her hair in a messy bun. She was so concentrated, she didn't even heard him arriving at the kitchen, luckily that gave him a few more minutes to get himself together and try his best to say all he wanted to.

"Sansa." he said quietly not to fright her.

Immediately she turned around and Jon's heart shattered at his feet, she looked so frail, her eyes were sad and missing that sparkle he grew to love, he had to fight the urge of holding her, knowing it would only make things more complicated. She was shaking and barely meeting his eyes, she dropped everything she was doing and tried to go away, but Jon was faster. The moment Sansa started to walk past him, Jon grab her arm which made her flinch, at once he let go of her and for some miracle she gave up her idea and stayed.

"What... what are doing here?" She asked, still not meeting his gaze.

"You know exactly what I'm doing here."

"You...it's best for you to leave, it's getting late and I need... it's past Lily bedtime." Sansa said, this time she had tears on her eyes.

"I will, if that's what you want I'll leave for good, but please just give an explanation. I deserve one."

"I wish we could've met before, before... I'm not the same Jon. I know you care for me, I care for you too more than you can imagine, but truth is I'm not good enough for you or anyone, I'm a broken thing." Jon felt relief flood trough his whole body.

"Is that what you think? That you're not good enough? Sansa, you now about my past, I'm far from perfect. It's actually funny, but I've spent these last few days thinking about the same, and only now I've come to the conclusion that we're perfect for each other, two broken things awaiting for someone to fix them." Jon got closer and placed his palm gently on her cheek, this time she didn't flinch and seemed welcoming to his touch.

"Please don't shut me away, let me help you." He whispered, their noses were almost touching, her eyes were closed.

"I don't want you to get hurt because of me." She said holding his free hand.

"Then let me stay."

They spent minutes maybe hours, Jon couldn't tell, like that. Jon kissed her forehead, her nose and her cheek, all the while Sansa remained still, he was getting worried that he might have overstepped, but when he decided to give her some space she didn't allow him, she just pulled him closer again.

"Good, I don't want you leave. I...I love you." Jon's breath caught in his troath, to know that Sansa felt the same for him was all he ever needed.

Without thinking twice, Jon grabbed hold of her face and crashed his lips against hers. Their kiss started slowly but soon enough it became more passionate almost primal, it was like they were afraid of letting go, afraid that if they stopped all of this they had built would end. They spoke a thousand words without saying them, Jon was on a high, not even when he was using he felt this way, Sansa was his drug and his salvation, whenever he was with her things were different, he didn't have to worry about his recovery, his past, he didn't care about anything else but her, Jon was willing to go against anyone and anything if that meant staying like this for the rest of his live.

After a while they broke their kiss, Sansa's face and neck were flushed, her lips swollen, her eyes half lid and her breathing was shallow, she looked like some kind of angel sent from above. Sansa was smiling and that made him the happiest man on heart, to know that he could give her that, the peace she needed.

"Thank you." It was all she said, but Jon understood what she was trying to express. Jon just kissed her again, a chaste kiss, just a brushing of their lips but it still made his heart pound furiously against his chest.

"And now what?" Sansa looked afraid of what he was about to respond.

"I'm a man of my word, Miss Sansa. I'm afraid you're stuck with this broody man. I Iove you." She laughed and hugged him.

"I wouldn't want it any other way, Jon Snow." She was the one to initiate the kiss.

When they returned to the living room everyone was smirking at them, even Sansa's father, Jon was certain Lisa or Arya, maybe both, had spied on them. Jon couldn't care less, he loved Sansa and wanted to be with her, he wasn't afraid to admit it to no one. After spending some time with her family and finally being able to play with Lily for a while, Jon and Lisa left, Sansa followed him outside to were his truck was, and much to his surprise gave him a kiss in front of Lisa.

"Good night Jon." He just grinned and watched her go back inside with the promise of seeing her tomorrow again.

"You're welcome, boss. Now when can I be expecting my raise?" Of course Lisa wouldn't let him forget she was the one who made all this possible with her pep talk, maybe she really deserved that raise.

Next morning, Jon and Lisa went to open the bar, Jon had told Sansa he was going to see her but he still had time so he decided to go with Lisa, despite her protests that she was more than capable of managing the place on her own, she spent the whole time making fun of him, after all he was smiling more than usual and even this morning started to sing in the kitchen, he was truly a romantic fool.

Jon and Lisa were just finishing getting the tables and seats organised, when a blond woman with a pixie cut came in, she looked somewhere in her late fortys and by the way she was dressed, Jon could see she didn't belong in this part of town, she was wearing a burgundy pants suit with a black shirt tucked in, she was wearing gold and rubis in her neck, hands and ears, she walked like she owned the place. The moment Lisa saw her, she stilled. 

"What are you doing here, Cersei?" Her fists were clenched and she was about to jump on that woman.

"I didn't came here to see you, cousin." Jon wasn't expecting to hear that. "I'm here to speak with Jon Snow."

"No way I'm leaving him alone with you!" Lisa tried to stay but Jon looked at her and waved his hand, she wasn't pleased but left.

The woman was eyeing the bar with disdain, there was something about her that was familiar, those eyes. He had no idea she was related to Lisa, he never knew much about her family but he wasn't expecting them to be like this.

"My name is Cersei Lannister, I'm Joffrey's mother." Of course, now looking better the two of them were similar, but that meant that Lisa was a Lannister as well, a part of him felt betrayed.

"I've been hearing that you and Sansa are close, that you are spending a lot of time with the Starks and with my grandaughter." That last part she said it with pure anger, she was indeed Joffrey's mother.

"Me and Lisa have been helping Sansa, after everything your son has put her trough, she needs people to support her in this complicated time of her life." He tried to sound as polite as possible, it wouldn't do no one any good if he lost his temper.

"I don't care about Sansa, if she wants to be with you let her, it's not like my son misses her." Jon was trying his earnest not to lash out.

"But you have a past, don't you? A few robberies, a lot of nights in jail because of fights you've started, and of course a drug addiction. I'm here to advise you to stay away from my granddaughter, Sansa is a bad parent so she allows people like you near Lily, but I'm very different from her and from my son. I don't want you near my granddaughter ever again." She said it like it was the most simple thing in the world.

"And if I choose otherwise?" Jon knew he was playing a dangerous game.

She just laughed, "it's up to you. Just keep in mind that when the time comes, you really think a judge will give Sansa full custody of Lily when they find out who she's been sleeping with, not to mention that my cousin has a history even darker than yours. You'd be actually doing us a favour. Anyway the ball it's on your court now, choose wisely, Jon Snow." And without any other word, she left.

Once alone, only then her words started to sink in. He had no idea what to do, if somehow Sansa loses Lily because of him, she will never forgive him nor will her family, and Jon couldn't live with himself knowing he was responsible for that. Maybe it was best to everyone one if he stayed away, Sansa was the love of his life, that much he knew, but what would that cost to all of them?

Jon wasn't sure he was willing to pay the price, he couldn't destroy her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Lisa's birthday so things get happy...very happy. But of course being Lisa's party someone gets punched in the face.


	10. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa finally has a moment to enjoy herself, to feel like she used to before her marriage, but as the night carries on, old fears and scars arise again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry for the delay but life has been chaotic right now...okay that's a lie I just forgot my password, but to make up for it this chapter is the longest I've ever written.
> 
> Warning: there is a brief description of abuse, it's not explicit but it may be too much for some, I'll mark it with "*" so you know when to skipped it if you decide to.

Sansa Stark

"First round is on the house, you sons of bitches!" Lisa shouted on top of the bar counter, everyone who was there started to cheer.

Today it was Lisa's birthday and so she decided to throw a party at the "White Wolf", Sansa at first didn't want to go and leave Lily alone, fearing that Joffrey might use that in his advantage on court, but only an hour ago while Sansa had just finished giving Lily a bath, Lisa and Arya burst through the house and all but dragged her out, she realised she didn't really had much of a choice but to go otherwise they would never shut up about it or let her daughter sleep. But now she's glad she came, the atmosphere is very nice and everyone is welcoming, and of course there is Jon just mere inches away from her.

It had only been a couple of weeks since their first kiss and even though for most people it sounded rushed, Sansa was already thinking about their future together, she was scared at first with the prospect of being in a relationship again, but she was discovering that Jon was all that Joffrey wasn't, he would call her several times a day to ask how she was doing, if Lily was alright, or just to tell her he loved her, they wouldn't see each other everyday because of his job but whenever they were together, Sansa felt like it was in a dream, one she never wanted to wake up from, her family knew or at least suspected about their developing relationship, but didn't speak about it, Lisa definitely knew since she had saw them kiss at Jon's apartment, but she too understood Sansa's situation and chose not to mention what happened to anybody. Sansa was certain that Jon was the one, what she felt for Joffrey wasn't love, it never was, she was just a naive teenager infatuated with the idea of marrying her prince charming and starting her own family, with Jon she really felt like he was the man she was destined to find, to marry and begin a live together, maybe she should've stopped believing in fairy tales a long time ago, she thought she did, but Jon was bringing back the old Sansa, the Sansa who was genuinely happy and loved her life and could dream has much as she wanted, he brought out the best in her. Apparently she has the same effect on him, if Lisa's words are to be believed, according to her Jon doesn't look like Droopy anymore and actually has a sense of humour now, Sansa just laughed at her confession, but she had to admit that Jon did look happier, that was all she wanted, to make him feel the same way he makes her feel.

"Can I offer you a drink?" Jon asked playfully from behind the counter, despite the celebrations Jon still had to work. Sansa didn't mind, he was doing this for Lisa and she more than anyone deserved to have a special day, and working on her birthday wasn't it.

"I'm afraid someone has already thought about that." Sansa raised her beer bottle and took a sip, she couldn't believe that she was actually being flirtatious. It's been a while since she's been this care free.

"You wound me, Sansa Stark." Jon placed his palm on his chest and feigned shock, Sansa couldn't keep it anymore and just bursted into laughter. Jon grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. "I love you." He said and leaned in to place a quick peck on her lips, there was no use in keeping their relationship a secret, and no one was really paying attention to them.

"I love you too." She would never get tired of saying those words to him, words that one day made her sick and now were all she wanted to say.

"Jon, if you don't mind I'm gonna steal your woman for a few minutes." Arya said, Jon just waved her a hand while her sister grabbed her arm and took her to the dancefloor.

Sansa hated to dance, the last time she did so was at her weeding, she looked at Jon with pleading eyes but he just laughed and mouthed _have fun_ , so despite not being comfortable and not being as good of a dancer as her sister Arya, Sansa decided to get carry out by the music, after all they were at a party, her daughter was sleeping soundly at her parents house, and Joffrey was out of her life, it's been over a month since she her whole life changed, maybe it was time to start enjoying it and actually have fun, not that she wasn't having it before, but it was good to have this night just to herself, surrounded with friends and family. Someone changed the music that was playing on the jukebox and it started to play 'I'm gonna be' by the Proclaimers, immediately everyone got up and started to dance like there was no tomorrow.

"Come Sansa! Shake what your momma gave ya!" Maergery, Robb's longtime girlfriend shouted, she was clearly already a little bit tipsy and so was her brother. The two of them were almost devouring each other.

"Jon! You moody bastard get here!" Lisa climbed on top of a table and was screaming at the top of her lungs.

Sansa was so focused on the music, that she didn't even noticed Jon coming up from behind and picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder, she started scream and slapping his back but that only spurred him on, she was getting breathless from all the laughter.

"Are you going to accept the drink now?" He asked in all innocence, as if he was carrying Sansa on his shoulders.

"Put me down! Only then I'll think about it!" She told him, after hearing that Jon started jump.

"Stop! I swear to God I'm going to pee!" He didn't seemed to mind.

"Robb!" She called for her brother, but he only encouraged Jon, everyone did.

"Do it! Do it!" Several people were yelling, still Sansa wasn't going to succumb, she was even more stubborn than Jon.

"I have all night! I'm not even tired!" He said, all the while people kept dancing and shouting at them, Arya and Lisa were on top of the tables jumping up and down. Sansa was beginning to get hiccups, she couldn't remember the last time she felt this way, like a teenager.

"Okay, fine! I'll accept the drink." Just like that Jon placed her on the floor but didn't let go of her, instead he grabbed her face and gave her a long and passionate kiss, which Sansa gladly prolonged.

 _"Jon and Sansa_  
_Sitting in a tree_  
_K-I-S-S-I-N-G!_  
_First comes love_  
_Then comes marriage_  
_Then comes baby_  
_In a baby carriage!_ "

Maergery began to sing in a childlike voice, while people clapped. The music was gone but no one seemed to care, their screams were more than enough to keep the party going on full swing.

"Eww!!!" Both Lisa and Arya started pulling faces.

"You're the worst! Now I really need to use the bathroom." Sansa told him once they broke the kiss, because of all their antics her bladder was killing her.

"Is that an excuse? I can convince you again, if that's want you want!" He was already trying to pick her up again, this time she was faster and managed to run away.

Maergery noticed where Sansa was going and followed her, she said she needed to use the bathroom as well but Sansa knew she was only trying to get more details about her relationship, Sansa didn't mind since Maergery has been her friend for years and the only person she has ever confide everything with, Maergery was also, apart from Cersei Lannister, the only person who knew about Sansa's marriage since the beginning. Maergery had come to visit Sansa and Lily, who was still a newborn at the time, and when Sansa began to breastfeed her daughter she forgot completely about the bite mark Joffrey had left in her right breast, needless to say Maergery knew right away what was happening, her first reaction was to call Robb and her parents, Sansa begged her not to, saying that Joffrey didn't do it on purpose, that he only got a bit carried out specially because it had been a long time since they were intimate, her friend didn't bought her excuse but she saw the fear in Sansa's eyes so she kept it a secret, she had kept all of these years.

When she and Maergery reached the bathroom, her phone buzzed, it was a text message from her mother.

**Mom: Lily had a nightmare, but don't worry your dad and I calmed her down. She's sleeping with Lady by her side. Don't come home yet, have fun. She's alright.**

Sansa wanted to leave and go home to her little girl, as of late Lily is been having nightmares almost every night, most of them are because she misses her father, Sansa doesn't want to see Joffrey but she can't stop him from seeing his daughter, the thing is he doesn't want to. Tyrion and Shae, and even Jaime had all gone and visited Lily, and the other day Sansa took her daughter out to have lunch with Cersei, it was awkward and tense but she did it for her child, Tommen and Myrcella would video chat every night, but no signs of Joffrey.

Margery who had just left her bathroom stall, noticed what Sansa was doing.

"Is it Lily?" She only nodded. "She's fine, she's just going through a lot of changes right now." Maergery wasn't actually helping.

"You think she knows about Jon? That she's having all these nightmares because of it?" Sansa's good mood disappeared completely and now she only felt despare and a burning sensation in her eyes. "I've been so focused on how I'm doing, and how happy I am, that I totally forgot about my daughter's feelings! I can't do that to her!" Before she had a chance to break down in sobs, Maergery hugged her tightly like she had done many times throughout the years.

"Why shouldn't you be focused on that? In all this time I've met you, I've never seen you this happy and that's because of Jon. You're different, in a good way, and Lily may still be to young to really understand it but she knows something in you has changed for the better, you're not pretending anymore." Margery said, never letting go of her.

"You think I should tell her about Jon?" Sansa asked with her face buried in the other woman's shoulder.

"Honesty, that's up to you but from I can tell Lily gets along with Jon great, and he obviously loves her much more than her own father as ever cared to do it. She'll take it well, I know she will." Somehow even in her drunk state Maergery comforted Sansa and made her feel a lot more confident about her love life.

After that, Maergery rearranged Sansa's makeup and squeezed both her hands, Sansa was still distressed because of what happened to Lily, and a part of her wanted nothing more than just hold her precious little angel and take all of her pain and doubt away, she wants to give her strength, the kind of strength only a mother's embrace can give, but her own mother had assured her there was no need for it, and that Lily was already asleep and would only wake up in the morning, her daughter was a heavy sleeper, so Sansa stayed. The moment she saw Jon laughing with Robb, the gleam in his eyes were enough to take her sorrow away, the instance he saw her coming, he rushed to her side and kissed her, because he wanted and not because he wanted people to believe in something, it would take a while to get used to having someone treating her this way.

"Everything alright? You girls took awhile, me and your brother began to think you two had run away from us brutes." He said with that crooked smile of his, the one that made her heart jump.

"You see, a very handsome men offered me a drink, I just wanted to look good." She didn't wanted to ruin the night so she lied, if Jon found out the truth he was only going to feel guilty.

"His not as handsome has you I can assure you." He joked.

Behind the bar stood Arya, Lisa, and a bulky man with ginger hair and a long beard, if Sansa wasn't mistaken his name was Tormund, and Gendry was there too, he and her sister had a thing, even though they didn't admit it to anyone, Sansa thought it was cute to see her sister like that, head over heels but it was also strange, after all Arya was never the type of girl to swoon over a boy, maybe that was the reason they weren't dating, Gendry was shy and Arya was to stubborn to show her true feelings, she hoped one day they can actually have serious relationship, but she has doubts about it, Arya wasn't made to settle down and that was just fine, that's just how she is, plus she's still very young and in her own experience marrying the first person you meet is not always a good idea.

Lisa was pouring shots for them, right before Jon took the bottle out of her hands, she wasn't pleased about it.

"That's enough for today, it's your birthday but let's not get carried away, right?" Jon said in a firm tone that left no room for discussion. Lisa mumbled something under her breath but Arya and Gendry agreed with Jon and decided not to drink as well, so they didn't tempt her do to anything.

She knew why he said what he said, one of the first things she asked when he told her he was a recovering addict was why had he decided to open a bar, Jon said it was a dream that his mother had, he had told her a great deal about her and how much she meant to him, also a bar was a great test for his sobriety, if he could manage to work in a place where there's always temptation and remain sober trough that, than he could handle pretty much any other imaginable situation that might test him, so in other words that bar was almost like therapy for him. Lisa on the other hand despite her strength and will power, sometimes it was hard for her to keep it controled, and even though she wasn't doing drugs, alcohol could still lead up to addiction specially for someone as vulnerable has her, however Jon was always there to stop her if the need arises.

Honestly, Sansa isn't jealous of Lisa in anyway possible, it's true that she and Jon not only work together but also share a house, but she isn't worried about anything happening between the two of them, she had been folish enough to ask Jon once before they began dating if he and Lisa were just friends or something more, he quickly explained what the two of them had, and with time Sansa saw what he meant, they were each others balance, Jon was the one who made sure Lisa didn't get of track or get herself into trouble with the law, as she has done often before, and Lisa was the one who made Jon's life lighter, she was that one person that knew all of his secrets and his demons, she knows Jon better than Sansa ever will, she's been there for Jon for years, becoming jealous of her and break their friendship apart was only going to damage them.

The party went on for quite sometime, they danced and singed some more, somewhere in between that Jon and her brother Robb decided to do a arm wrestling competition, one which Sansa joined but lost to Arya, Lisa punched someone in the face but then in the next minute was hugging the woman and laughing. Tormund turn out to be a tattoo artist, so Lisa, Gendry and Arya left to his shop to get tattooed, Lisa was already covered in them, and Gendry had one or two in his forearm, but Arya had none and their mother didn't really approve tattoos or any other kind of body modification, she didn't mind if it was in other people just as long as those people weren't her children, Sansa knew she wasn't going to react well, so she and Robb pretended they had no idea what their sister was about to do, just in case their mother decides to blame them for it. Not long after that Robb and Maergery left too, but decided on taking a cab since both of them weren't in any condition to drive whatsoever, Robb said he and Maergery would come back tomorrow in her car to get his SUV, they hugged and kissed everyone in the bar, they didn't knew them but they were so drunk they were treating everyone as if they grew up together or were about to leave town for good.

Before Sansa could noticed, she and Jon were left alone and it was already really late, almost four in the morning. She was just finishing sweeping the floor despite Jon telling her she didn't have too, when he grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to him, Sansa layed her head on his shoulder, feeling herself getting sleepy, while running her hands trough his curls, who were now a tangled mess, he had started the night with his hair in a manbun but that didn't last long, she actually loved his hair like that, free and with his black curls in a disarray.

Jon turned Sansa around gently so she had her back to him hand began caressing her waist, almost close to her breasts, he started nibbling on her earlobes, licking behind her ear, and blowing gently in it, all the while he kept whispering about how much loved her, how beautiful she was, Sansa was starting to have a hard time breathing, he took a hand out of her waist and ran it through her scalp then lightly grabbed the hair at the nape of her neck, Sansa actually let out a small moan, no one as ever done this to her and she was loving every second of it, with the hand that was resting on her waist, Jon massaged her torso and kept going lower and lower until he found her pubic bone, he then started rubbing with the flat of his hands so slightly but still Sansa could feel his touch, she was beginning to feel a tension coiling in her stomach, her underwear was getting damped which made her want to rub her tights together and let out several mewls of pleasure, Jon was now licking and sucking her pulse point, so hard hard that it would definitely leave an hickey, at this point there was no denying his erection which was poking on her lower back, by instinct Sansa rubbed herself against it, Jon let out a guttural sound and his touches became a lot more firm and fast, Sansa's whole body was aflame, she had never experienced something like this before, her previous experiences only brought pain, yet this that Jon was doing, the time he was taking was to much for her to bear.

"Oh...Jon..." He chuckled in her ear, the sound bringing a whole new wave of pleasure, the pressure between her legs was unbearable and she was getting wetter.

His other hand cupped her left breast and he began massaging it, even though Sansa was fully clothed and wearing a bra, she could still feel the heat coming from his hands, his breath was hot on her neck, and he cupped the front of her jeans right were she needed him the most, Sansa began rubbing against his hand, trying to create some friction, in order to bring her some kind of relief, she was moaning loudly now.

"Lisa will be out all night." He rasped, "let's go home." Suddenly the arousal was gone and was replaced with fear, a fear she thought she no longer had to face, her whole body tensed. At once Jon removed both of his hands, he didn't go away completely but gave her some space, just enough so that they weren't touching.

"I'm sorry." He didn't even know what he was apologizing for but he did all the same, that only made the tears spill, _get it together_ , she told herself yet she couldn't.

*Sansa had been in the heat of the moment, she had already had a few drinks, and then when Jon began kissing and touching her in ways that made her eyes roll back, Sansa gave in, she responded to his actions because in fact she was enjoying them, she was felling aroused but then when Jon told her he wanted to go home with her, Sansa snapped back to reality, and she realised what they were about to do, and even though Jon would never harm her, Sansa couldn't let out of her mind the man that for years used her body only for his pleasure, the man who had caused nothing but pain and humiliation, the man who would strip her naked onto bed and would scratch, bite, spit, slap, punch, do whatever he pleased while she just layed there praying for it a to be over and thinking about her daughter in the hopes of making it more endurable. She hated herself for her weakness, Joffrey would never touch her again and yet she could feel his hands on her body, he would never kiss her, but she could still taste the whisky on his breath, hear his voice and his groans as he kept pounding into her cunt mercilessly, no matter how bad she tried he wouldn't leave her, not even when she was with the man who loved her and she loved back. She just wanted to have the ability to give herself completely to Jon, body and soul but she was finding that impossible and much to painful still.*

"Don't. Don't apologize, you did nothing wrong, I...I thought that was gone...I can't seem to let go. I'm sorry." She kept her back turned, knowing that if she did otherwise she would just cry even harder. She didn't need to see Jon to know he was filled with anger, anger that was most likely directed at her.

"I'm a fucking jerk!" Jon grabbed a glass from the counter and sent it flying across the the wall, making glass shards fall all over the floor. Sansa flinched, she has never seen Jon like this before, because old habits die hard, Sansa shrinked and placed her hand in front of her of her face, preparing for a blow. The moment Jon saw that, silent tears rolled down his face, he quickly grabbed her and held her close.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please Sansa, my Sansa, please forgive me it was never my intention to scare you, I don't want you to be afraid of me, never. Please..." The last word came out strangled, his face was buried in her hair.

"I'm not, you make me feel safe. I love you Jon, but I... don't ask me to do it not yet at least. I'm n-not strong enough." She pleaded, hating how weak she sounded.

"I should've controled myself, I knew that after everything you went through with that fucker you wouldn't want someone to...I Iet my body get the best of me. I promise from now on we'll wait until you're ready, and if that day never comes it's okay. I love you, I know it's soon but I want to marry you, there is more to a relationship than just sex, this that we have...I wouldn't trade it for nothing in the world." His eyes were glassy and his voice was nearly above a whisper, he looked defeated.

"Jon, I can do that to you! You're a man...you have needs." Joffrey's influence was still so powering over her, that she continued to believe that it was her obligation to lay with a man. Jon put an end to it.

"My need is you, only you. As long as you are okay I'm the most pleased man on earth."

"I love you so much, thank you." She was crying, but it was tears of joy.

"We'll figure it out one day at the time. We have tomorrow all for ourselves and I'm not in a rush." He kissed the crown of her hair.

* * *

 

Two days later when Sansa woke up Lily wasn't there and people were shouting, it was still very early and they weren't expecting Jon and Lisa, maybe her mother found out about Arya's tattoo, an old school dagger in her calf, but then she heard Arya cursing loudly, something she would never do to her parents, right away she knew what was this about, the fear she had felt in Lisa's party returned and she felt unable to move.

Sansa made an effort and somehow managed to get out of bed, put on her robe and slippers, and go downstairs.

"Get out of my house now! If you think you can just show up here and all of the sudden become father of the year you're wrong, I'll do everything right until my last dying breath to make sure you'll never see them again! You're a monster!" This time it was her mother speaking, actually she was screaming, her father who was at her side was shaking with rage.

Joffrey was standing at her door wearing one of his expensive suits and smirking, despite her family's hostility Joffrey seemed calm and this time it wasn't just the mask he would slip, no this was real.

"Sansa, we need to talk." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you might be hoping for some smut, but he patient we're almost there, I just feel that because of all Sansa went through at the hands of Joffrey, despite actually wanting to get more intimate with Jon, she can't forget her past, but she'll get there.
> 
> Also Joffrey actually is at the Starks house to do something good, or at least semi decent.
> 
> Next chapter will be divided into two POVs, Lisa and Cersei Lannister.


	11. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cersei finds out what Joffrey did, with the help of someone she makes a discovery that will affect the thing she treasures the most, her family.
> 
> Lisa has to make a hard choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first chapter that I include two PoVs in, but it won't be the last, Sansa and Jon are the only ones who will have an whole chapter about themselves. Also this is very dialogue heavy.
> 
> Forget about fluff, there's none of it in here. If you read the tags you'll find "dark past", I warned that the story eventually would get darker, it's happening now. I'm a little bit nervous but hopefully it's not that bad actually. 
> 
> Enjoy. ☺️

Cersei Lannister

"Ms. Baratheon, do y-"

"Out! Now!" Cersei throwned an ashtray at her maid. Right now she wanted to murder someone, it didn't matter who.

Cersei has never been angry at Joffrey, not even when he told her he wanted to marry Sansa Stark, or when she found out liquor and cigarettes under his bed, that changed four days ago when she discovered what her son did. Her son had signed the divorce papers willingly, she didn't care about it matter of fact she was actually happy not to call Sansa her daughter-in-law anymore, no what was making her see red was the fact that Joffrey had given up his parental rights over Lily, which meant he no longer had anything to do with her and by consequence neither did Cersei. Lily, her precious granddaughter was no longer hers, Cersei had planned to raise her as her own, to do a better job than Sansa ever will, now that's all lost. She had no idea as to why her son did what he did, it was true that he never nurtured any fatherly feelings towards Lily, but still Cersei couldn't let Sansa have her, her granddaughter was a Lannister, she deserved to be treated as such if not she's going to grow up just like her mother, someone who is weak and unable to stand for herself, the only reason Sansa left Joffrey was because of Lisa, if her cousin had stayed quiet none of this would've happened, Sansa would've never been able to ask for a divorce, she was too much of a coward for that. She needed to find a way to fix this and she knew exactly how.

Cersei Lannister picked her phone and called the only person who could help her right now.

"We need to talk. Tomorrow at my house, don't be late." She didn't say anything else, she didn't have to. The person on the other side of the phone knew exactly who he was dealing with.

Next morning, Cersei sat in her mediterranean dinning room, eating her breakfast alone, Jaime had left for the docks at dawn and her husband hadn't slept at home, ever since Ned left the company Robert's drinking has gotten worst, he doesn't miss his friend, he's just concerned that he has no one to run his business while he drinks away his days, he's not use to having responsibilities of his own, Cersei was just finishing when she heard a knock on the door, it was him no doubt, he wasn't one to be late.

"Good morning, Ms. Baratheon." He said, his short hair was slicked back, graying in the temples, he was wearing a black suit and a burgundy roll neck jumper, his silver cufflinks had his initials and his pin label was shaped as a mockingbird, his trademark.

"Sit Petyr, we have much to discuss." Her voice was icy and her face was blank, she knew Petyr Baelish well, if he saw weakness he would use it to his advantage.

Petyr Baelish is a lawyer at least for most people, in truth he's a business man, the owner of the "The Mockingbird" a bar who is an amusement park for adults, a decadent place where no request is to odd, and the price is always worth paying for. Drugs, prostitutes male and female, your wildest fantasies and deepest desires, all of it it's available, but only a few can enjoy such luxury, the ones who can afford it and can be loyal, but then of course Petyr has other ways to ensure people's silence, that's what he does best, he indulges his clients with things that are imoral and viewed as wrong in society's eyes, only to use it in his advantage, there's a reason why a man like him who came from a very poor family without any connections has become one of the wealthiest men in Kings Landing, knowledge is power, she's heard him say once. Baelish is a dangerous man that loves no one but himself, Cersei knows better than to seek for his help but desperate times take desperate needs, and she's confident she can play him as well.

"Did you know what Joffrey was going to do?" She asked, she wasn't going to go straight to the subject.

"Of course, after all I am his lawyer. Trust me I've tried to advise him not to, but Joffrey isn't always a great listener." There it was, his classic move of trying to sound like the good guy, he didn't fool her. No one did.

"Like you said, you're is lawyer I'm sure he might have given you some kind of explanation as to why he did what he did."

"He did not, and I didn't ask, I respect my clients privacy. Maybe Joffrey wasn't willing to spend months fighting on court, after all the Starks are a powerful family." He lied with all of his teeth, he had no admiration for the Starks and it was clear that he knew very well Joffrey's motives.

"We've known each other for quite some time, haven't we?" He just smirked and nodded. "Yet I don't recall mentioning you to Joffrey, so why did he seek you instead of our family attorney, Qyburn?"

"What are you implying? I'm a very good lawyer, it's not hard to know about my services."

"Unlike his father, Joffrey doesn't spend his nights at local bars. He has good taste, something he inherited from my family, how long has he been going to "The Mockingbird" ?" She finally saw him succumb, his lips were twitching into a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Yes, your son usually goes to my establishment, like you a said it yourself, he has very good taste. And some even more interesting requests."

"Is that so?"

"Everyone has a dark side to them, some like to be dominated, some enjoy pain others love to inflict it, some want to take the edge off after a day in the office, I'm just the man who provides that. But above all they love the secrecy of it, to know they can be whoever they want away from watchful stares and free of any judgement, of course that comes with a cost and I'm a business man, I have to make a profit." She had him were she needed it, his greed was his weakness.

"What's your price?" She knew it already.

"Ned Stark no longer works for the Baratheon enterprises, I hear that there is an empty seat in the board of directors."

"One you would like to occupy, am I'm right?"

"Let's assume I have a very good piece of information, one you'll love to hear and I decide to give it to you. How will I gain from this exchange? I need warranties, specially since your son is not one keen on having his privacy invaded." Cersei was going to allow him this victory, she was a mother who was desperate to know something about her son, or so Baelish thought. She wasn't weak, far from it yet she was just appearing to be that. _Let him think he has me_ , she thought.

"I'll make sure of it, Robert doesn't care about who sits with him in the company, as long he doesn't have to work more than he wishes. It appears your days as a lawyer are done." Let Petyr Baelish steal Robert's money, she doesn't care, she doesn't need it.

"Ros, she works for me. She's one of my most trusted employees and one of Joffrey's favourites, he likes her so much that he actually gave her a child. A boy if I'm not mistaken and now with the divorce and with Lily no longer being his, I can already imagine who Joffrey will name has his beneficiary." Cersei felt sick to her stomach, quite literally. How could Joffrey do this? Baelish answer that question for her.

"We both know he wants to get back at Sansa, what better way to do it than leaving all of his money to the son of a prostitute, because from what I know he plans on giving his name to the child. Congratulations." The last words came out as mockery, she was ready to storm his bar and dragged that gold digger by the hair.

"Before you do anything rash, I'll give you this free of charge, Joffrey isn't the only one in your family who enjoys my bar, your cousin Lisa used to work for me as a bartender. She and Ros were and are good friends still. Now if you excuse me I have to return to my busy schedule, I'll be awaiting for your call once you speak with Robert." She didn't even notice him leaving, her rage was blinding her.

Once alone in her study Cersei destroyed the place, she didn't care if the maids hear it they now better than to intervene, she hated Sansa but she was a decent woman, even too decent sometimes maybe that's why her marriage fell apart, it was no secret Joffrey was unfaithful, he made sure Sansa knew about his prostitutes in that sense he was Robert's son no doubt, but she taught him better than that, when people find out her son, one of the heirs to the Baratheon and Lannister fortune, was about to have a son with some prostitute a woman who didn't love him, who just wanted his money, that's what hurts the most. Joffrey was cruel, there was no denying it, but she never expected him to go this far, not only to make his daughter, the only thing that kept Cersei sane, no longer his but also to have her denegrated like that, to make her lose everything that was her right to some bastard. She doesn't know for how long she's been at it, but now her study looks like a crime scene, there's glass shards everywhere, her hand his bleeding but she can't even feel pain right now, she just picks up a bottle of whiskey and doesn't even care about grabbing a glass, they are all broken anyway. Jaime is the one who finds her crying on the floor in a drunken state, she slaps him for no reason, just because it feels go to have someone who she can redirect her anger instead of the furniture, he doesn't ask any questions, just picks her up and carries her to bed and then leaves for his own room. She's ashamed of how weak she's become in that moment, she remembers Joffrey as a sweet boy growing up, she can't pinpoint the exact moment he turned out like this, what scares her the most is that she's no longer in control, she can't have that, she has to get herself together and fix this fucking mess. One thing is certain, someone will pay dearly for this.

The next few days went by in a blur, Joffrey had left the house since Sansa told him he could keep everything so he went back to the one they shared together, Jaime would try to talk to her several times a day, she always ignored him, her husband didn't seem to notice something was amiss, but her children did, Myrcella came to see her alongside Tommen, seeing her children made her return to normal, to the cunning and ruthless woman she was, she was going to protect her family come hell or highwater, she spent hours trying to think of a way of preventing that woman to come near her family, she kept having the same idea over and over, she finally relented even if he meant swallowing her pride.

"Merryn, prepare the car. Were going to flea bottom." She ordered her one of her bodyguards, he wasted no time.

In less than a month Cersei has already been to this bar twice, she hated here, the people were all a bunch of drunks who kept staring at her like she was some piece of meat, as if they had a chance of taking her home, she already had a drunken mess in her life, no way she was going to have another. She could see her cousin behind the counter pouring drinks, apart from the tattoos and the piercings she remained the same, she was probably the only one in the family who didn't look like a Lannister, her hair was dark brown and so were her eyes, yet Cersie remembers a time when that girl who is now a woman wanted nothing more than to belong with them, she did what she did to protect her name, they couldn't have a drug addict staining their reputation, and also despite not showing it, Lisa is a not a good person, only a few know about her past, Cersei is one of them.

When she saw her, Lisa murmured something to a man who was sitting in front of her, quickly he took her place and she began walking towards Cersei. She noticed Jon wasn't there.

"What do you want?!" If she could, Lisa would've kicked her out already.

"I need to speak to you. In private." Lisa didn't talk, just gestured for Cersei to follow her. She took them to this small office.

She sat on her chair but remained quiet, she was expecting Cersei to make the first move and so she did.

"You an I have a mutual interest. Sansa Stark." Lisa bursted into laughter.

"Is that so? I'm helping Sansa while you are trying to destroy her life. Our interests couldn't be any different. Thank God your son actually did something good for a change, Sansa and Lily are no longer your problem, so stay away." Her voice was calm but her eyes told a different story, she couldn't keep her mask with Cersei around.

"I'm not here to speak about Sansa, I need something from you." Lisa gaped her mouth. "You used to work for Petyr Baelish." It wasn't a question.

"And? No everyone comes from a rich family, I had to eat somehow." _And sustain your addiction_ , Cersei said to herself.

"Your friend Ros, the one you met there, is pregnant with Joffrey's baby." It was evident she didn't know. "I want you to deliver this to her." She handed her a plane ticket to Pentos and a cheque with a a very reasonable amount of money.

"What it I don't want to? For all I know she might not want to leave."

"Ask Sansa about the beginning of her relationship, it wasn't always a nightmare. What'll happen when Joffrey grows bored of that woman? You already saw it once." Immediately she lost her cocky expression and was reconsidering.

"I'm more worried of what will happen to her if she refuses you."

"That's why I'm asking you to speak to her, make her see that this is her best option. You know I'm not one to make idle threats." Lisa looked thorn. She took a few minutes to make her decision.

"Tomorrow it's Saturday, I'll show up there and do what you ask, but I can't promise she'll accept it."

"Too bad for her then." Lisa was terrified, Cersei felt triumphant over that.

"I'll make sure someone delivers your motorcycle to you, it's been in my garage." Without saying goodbye she left that miserable place and hoped to never see it again.

Only a fool would try to undermine Cersei Lannister.

* * *

 

 

Lisa

"Where you going? I'm making your favourite for dinner." Jon asked, Lisa wanted nothing more than to tell him the truth.

"I...I'm going to meet someone, don't wait for me to eat." She lied, thankfully she was a good liar.

"Okay have fun on your date." She didn't even had the energy of telling him to fuck off has she would've done.

"Bye Lisa." That was it, hearing Lily's voice broke her, she didn't even turned around just waved a hand over her shoulder. Lily, Sansa and Arya were visiting them, to make matters worst.

Sansa had been over the moon when she found out that Joffrey had agreed with the divorce and given up his parental rights, she didn't care about his money or the house and the car, she just wanted her daughter and to be free from the Lannisters, she had huged Lisa and thanked her a thousand times for everything she did for them, and now she was on her way to do the bidding of the woman Sansa hated the most.

Lisa couldn't believe she was doing this, helping the person who destroyed her life, but she had no other choice, she wishes she had. If Cersei is being honest and Ros is indeed pregnant with Joffrey's baby, may God help her because Cersei won't stop until she gets what she wants, and she always gets it. She and her father, Tywin Lannister, have this obsession about family reputation, nothing mattered to them as long as they kept being seen as powerful and fierce, someone you should not only look up but fear as well, for fuck shake Lisa was a Lannister and still they shunned her away, her own blood.

Honestly she was more afraid of walking into that place again, the last time she was there she overdosed and the cunts didn't even called an ambulance, they just throwned her into a car and left her to die in the hospital, Petyr Baelish never came to visit, if something he just try to sweep all of it under the rug. After being kicked out from home Lisa found herself homeless and broke, she needed to find a way of getting drugs into her organism again, that's when she found "The Mockingbird" a bar filled with drugs, all kinds of it. She was in heaven, as long as she did her job and remained quiet about the things she saw and heard no one bothered her, and she could have access to as many drugs as she liked, what started as something she did only once a day soon became worst, she was using multiple times not caring for her life, no one seemed to mind that, they actually encouraged it, Petyr knew her weakness and used it against her, he needed people who were dependent of him, so they could never rat him out, so he kept Lisa high all times, that way she wouldn't go to the cops about the blood she sometimes cleaned of the floor and much worse things. She wasn't the same as she was five years ago, the girl who fell so low that actually sold her body for heroin no longer existed, or did she? It was hard to distinguish the line where the past meets the present, she doesn't know if she's going to make it.

She arrived, she should've taken Jon's truck it would've been longer to get here, that was something else she had to lie to, about the fact that her motorcycle show up at her front door this morning. The moment she showed up at the door she was immediately recognised, the bouncer Gregor Clegane, a brutal man that if you looked for more than just thirty seconds will break every rib in your body, strangely enough he's always been nice to her, maybe because monsters recognise themselves. The place hasn't changed one bit, it still looks like hell just in a more luxurious way, the red padded walls were still there, the red lights, the leather burgundy banquettes, stone counters, the black crystal chandeliers, and several art paintings on the walls, all depicting sex and violence, it was fitting of course, maybe the reason why red was such a prominent colour here it's because it's easier to disguise the blood that they shed all over the years.

"The prodigal daughter returns." She turned around and saw Olyvar grinning at her, he was the one who took her to the hospital not caring if she was dead or alive, and now was smiling. She was already getting cold sweats.

"Is Ros here?" It was still very early for them to open to the public.

"You look good, I particularly didn't recognized you. I like the tattoos they make you look hot." If only he knew the meaning behind each one.

"Lisa?! What you're doing here?!" Ros came from the the bathroom and ran to her arms, Lisa hugged her tightly. It's been a while since they saw each other, Ros was the only decent person in here.

"Wanna join me?" Olyvar was holding a bag with heroin, she was feeling her body betraying her, for a second she forgot her purpose and almost said yes and went with him. To seek the comfort only drugs provided, _no you can't do this for Jon and the others_ , she internally screamed at herself.

"Will you call an ambulance this time?" Olyvar looked down ashamed of his actions in the past, he quickly left them alone.

Ros definitely was pregnant, there was no denying her bump and she was glowing or whatever shit pregnant women call it. Just to think that Joffrey was the father was enough to make her chase Olyvar, no child deserved such faith, she had seen it with Lily. Unlike her Ros was a dreamer, she worked as prostitute as Lisa did once, but she would spend her days thinking of the man who will come and take her out of here and give her a proper life, it's a pity she chosen Joffrey. Lisa wanted to help her the same way Ros did for her years ago, she was the one found her this job and even though it turned out horribly she felt sorry for it, she was the only person who came to see her at the hospital, her nurse told her that during her coma, Ros would spent hours by her side talking to her. She never gave up hope, she deserved all good things life had to offer, unfortunately she had to contend herself with Littlefinger, as he's called, even if she wanted to leave she couldn't, she was in too deep already, she still faces the risk of being arrested because some of the orders she has to follow.

"Boy or girl?" She asked, genuinely curious.

"It's a boy." Ros had her hands on her growing bump, she looked so happy. Lisa couldn't stay here long, she cut straight to the chase.

"I know who the the father is, and I know is family they're dangerous people who don't want you here. Take this and go, it's more than enough to start all over again and give your baby boy a decent life." Instead of taking the envelop, Ros slapped her hard, Lisa could taste blood in her mouth.

"I know his mother is behind this! I'm not going anywhere, do understand. I love Joffrey!" Her words stinged more than the slap itself. "I thought you hated them, and now you're their pet dog just following orders like you use to back in the day." She loved Ros but she wasn't going to take it.

"Is that what you think?! That I'm following orders! I'm here because of you, you know what happened in the past and yet here I stand, for of you!" She was getting angry. "The next time you're with Joffrey ask him what happened at his daughter's birthday party, ask him about Sansa Stark."

"Word travels fast, I know what he did." Ros replied, she was different from the woman she met all those years ago.

"How can you love him?! He's going to harm both of you soon or later!"

"I'm not Sansa Stark!"

"No you're not! Sansa Stark comes from an important family, you're a just a prostitute! Do you think people care what happen to you, if Joffrey were to beat you bloody no one would lose a night's sleep over it! These people all want something from us but they don't care if live or die, they didn't with me why should you be any different?!" She didn't want to say those things, they might be true but still Ros didn't deserve to hear them. Lisa just wanted to make her see reason.

"Leave and take your money with you. I don't your help, and I'm not afraid of Cersei. You don't know Joffrey, he'll keep me safe." She left, and Lisa just stood there feeling like shit.

When she left Petyr's establishment she didn't went home, she couldn't face Jon or Sansa right now. She had failed Cersei and now it was out of her control, whatever her cousin comes up with next it's not going to be good, people will get hurt. She felt like she was returning to that dark place again, only this time Jon wouldn't be there for her, not after what she's done. To be honest she could care less about her recovery, if she relapsed she wouldn't even bother to stop, she had one job only and she failed. Right now she needed a drink, or a bottle. Several.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know probably there is a lot of questions now, but will get there eventually. Next chapter Jon finds out about what Lisa did and in consequence she bares the whole truth of her past to him. Will Jon be able to forgive her after what he hears?
> 
> If you spot any typos let me know. Also you are amazing.


	12. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon and Lily bond and someone he misses dearly returns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last few chapters have been a little bit depressing, so here's this one to give you a toothache. And also there's goats involved.
> 
> The second part of the chapter is heavier but ends well.
> 
> Like I've said it's going to as sweet as molasses.

Jon Snow

"Cheer up, boy. Sansa and Lily are coming over." Jon said to his dog Ghost in order to make him feel better, it didn't work.

Sundays had a new meaning now for Jon, Sansa would spend the whole afternoon in his house and he loved it, Sansa had come over a few times already but today she was bringing Lilly with her for the first time, she wanted her daughter to get use with spending some time with the two of them as a couple, and even though Jon loved Sansa, still he couldn't seem to be happy about it. It wasn't her fault of course, Jon was this way because Lisa had left the house a week ago and he had no idea where she was, no one did.

Last Saturday, Lisa told him she was going to meet someone, Jon didn't know who but when she returned everything was different, the girl who would sit with him on the couch to watch football, and scream at the screen as if she was the coach herself was gone, that day she didn't even talked to him, she just went into her room and the next morning when he woke up she was gone, she had left a note on the kitchen table saying she was alright but needed some time alone and that Jon shouldn't worry about her. Of course Jon did the opposite, the last time he saw Lisa like this she relapsed, the truth is although they live together and are best friends, Lisa still is a stranger in his eyes, he doesn't have a clue about her past and whenever he tries to bring that up she changes the subject immediately, when he found out trough Joffrey's mom that Lisa was a Lannister, Jon confronted her but it was useless, she just left saying she had things to do.

He's afraid of what will happen to her now, or if something has already happened, every time his phone rings he starts to tremble, fearing that it might be from the hospital or the police warning him of the worst. Sansa has been amazing so as her family, they all love Lisa and are worried sick, Arya had spend a whole night alongside Gendry driving trough town looking for her, Sansa's dad who as important friends in the police has made a bunch of phonecalls, and Sansa has been there for him every second of the day, she's the only reason why he hasn't gone mad yet.

Despite felling down over the fact that one of the most significant people in his life is away and most likely in trouble, Jon has to get it together. Now that the divorce is signed and Joffrey has given up his parental rights, Sansa finally told Lily about her relationship with Jon, he's not sure she understands it completely since she's still so young, but he wants to make a good impression, what he feels for Sansa is so much more than a casual fling, he already sees himself waiting for her on the aisle, so he wants them to feel like a family. Joffrey legally isn't Lily's father anymore, but she doesn't know that or at least doesn't realize it, Jon knows he can't take Joffrey's place and he doesn't want to, he just wants to be someone Lily feels comfortable around, her feelings mean the world to Sansa.

As expected, around three in the afternoon Jon heard a knock on the door, immediately he flew straight to it. As soon as he layed eyes on Sansa he knew something was wrong, she was white as a sheet, had huge dark circles under her eyes, and she looked miserable, and was walking very slowly, it was obvious she was in pain.

"Lily, stop!" Sansa said firmly to her daughter who was running around the house chasing Ghost. She was irritated.

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you coming down with the flu? Do I need to take you to the hospital? I don't mind, actually I think it's best if we go, it's Winter an-" Sansa shut him up with a kiss, he was rambling at that point but he's concerned about her.

"I'm fine." She said with a smile, but then four seconds later grabbed onto the sofa arm for dear life and groaned in pain. Jon got up at once and was ready to carry her to the emergency room. Sansa laughed at him.

"Jon, I...it's only my period." She whispered, avoiding eye contact.

"Oh..." He wasn't sure who was blushing more in that moment.

Jon didn't feel disgusted by it in anyway possible, it was something completely normal and honestly if it weren't for periods he wouldn't be here or anyone else for that matter, he was just a little bit lost, he never really payed that much attention to sex education class and most of his girlfriends always kept that aspect of their lifes hidden from him. Yet Jon refuses to ignore it and let Sansa go trough this all by herself, his mother raised him better than that.

"How do you feel?" He asked, it was a good place to start. If he knows what's wrong he can try to fix it.

"Awful, my back are killing me, I haven't slept at all last night, I feel bloated, someone his currently hammering my head, I got the worst cramps and above all I'm tired as hell." Jon gained a new respect not only for Sansa but for every woman out there, how can someone go through this once a month?

"Well, I don't really have any painkillers in the house, for obvious reasons, but don't worry I know just what do to make you feel better. Just lay down and I'll be back in a second." Sansa tried to protest, but he ignored it.

After she layed down, Jon covered her with a a soft fleece blanket that was always in the living room, Sansa snuggled up against it, afterwards he went into the kitchen, he lived in an opened apartment so he could easily keep an eye on Sansa and Lily, who was busy playing with Ghost. First he heated some water not only to make tea but also to fill a hot water bottle, something Lisa had bought a few months ago because of her knee, then he looked in the cabinets for some chocolate, he had a sweet tooth, so he always kept his pantry filled with candies, he wasn't an expert but chocolate contains endorphins, something that can easily lift up someone's mood, hopefully it will work on Sansa. Once that was all done, he returned to Sansa's side and told her to sit, then he placed the hot water bottle against her stomach but first made sure it wasn't too hot, and handed her a cup of tea and a bag filled with assorted chocolates, she was looking at him like he was some kind of hero, to be honest that was a damn good ego booster.

"I'm sorry, it's Sunday you should be resting not taking care of me. I would've been just fine, I'm use to dealing with this alone." He knew what she meant. She had come a long way already but there were moments where she acted like she was still in her marriage.

"I'm not Joffrey. I love you and I hate to see you in pain, if there's something I can do to prevent it, trust me I will." He placed a kiss on her forehead. "Plus, my mother would be rolling in her grave if she found out her precious son wasn't being the proper gentleman she raised." He said smugly, Sansa giggled.

"Mommy, mommy!" Lisa jumped on the couch next to Sansa. "Can we take Ghost to the park, please?" It goes without saying that Sansa was having a hard time refusing her daughter, so Jon decided to intervene.

"Lily, your mommy isn't feeling well today. Can we go to the park some other day?" Lily pouted just like Sansa would sometimes, she was about to cry so he improvised. Ghost was going to hate him for this.

"Ghost really smells, don't he?" Lily scrunched her nose and laugh.

"I'll tell you what, why don't we go to the pet store and buy a bunch of stuff that smell like cotton candy and then get back here and give him a good scrub. Would you like that?" Ghost definitely won't.

"Yes! Thank you, Jon!" Much to his surprise, Lily got off the couch and jumped into his arms, Jon gave her a tight hug.

Sansa was watching them attentively and had tears on her eyes, Jon wasn't that far behind either. This gesture meant so much to him, he couldn't even put it into words.

"Jon, are you sure you're okay with this? Lily can be an handful." Sansa warned him.

"I'm sure she is, but I can handle her. Remember I work in a bar, I'm very good with people." He squeezed her hand. "And you? Are you okay with me being all by myself with her?"

"You already know my answer, I want her to get to know you better. Just promise you'll be careful." He did

After a few more minutes and a bunch of rules given by Sansa, Jon and a very excited Lily left the house.

Thirty minutes later and Jon was already realising what Sansa meant when she said Lily was an handful, the moment they got inside the pet store she let go of his hand and started running, luckily the store wasn't big otherwise he would've lost her out of his sight in a matter of seconds. She was filling their basked with all kinds of stuff, they had came here to buy shampoo, soap and sponges, somehow Lily convinced him on getting chew toys, stuffed animals, balls, and even a collar, a pink one covered in glitter, he suspected she was getting it for Lady. Jon didn't mind, Ghost probably wouldn't use any of it, his dog preferred sticks he finds on the ground, but Jon couldn't say no to Lily, he knows buying her stuff is not the best way to win her over and that's not what he's trying to do, he has a very different reason as to why he's acting this way.

Sansa had told him that Joffrey never had any interest in being a part of Lily's life, and the fact that he gave up on his parental rights only confirmed it. Jon grew up without a dad, and even though his mother did the best she could with the little that they had, Jon always wondered what it would be like to have one, whenever his friends would show up at the school and start telling him about the fishing trip they had with their father, or the football game they watched together, amongst other things, Jon would feel jealous of them, and later would cry himself to sleep because of it. He knew he could never replace Joffrey, but he could be there for Lily and make up for all of the things she had lost, he wanted to take her on picnics, to the beach, build a kite with her, play sports, take her fishing, all of the things she deserved. It was strange, Jon always liked children but he never wanted to have his own, mainly because he had spent a great part of life messing things up, he was afraid he wasn't going to do a good job as a parent and also because he loved being just by himself with no one to rely on him, yet here he was with a little girl by his side buying pink collars and he was loving it, it felt like a part of him he didn't know he had was finally complete.

"Can we stop for ice cream?" Lily asked once they got inside of his truck.

There was an ice cream parlour near his home, Lily must've noticed it on their way to the pet shop, he wasn't sure Sansa would approve since it was close to diner time, but then again Sansa wasn't here and Jon actually felt in the mood for ice cream too.

"You got it. Just don't tell your mother, okay?" Lisa extended her arm and put her pinky up, Jon did the same. He was safe, pinky promises are sacred.

The two of them made their way into the little but cosy ice cream parlour, and placed their order. Jon asked for vannila and chocolate ice cream, you could never go wrong with those two, Lily on the other hand asked for waffles with a scoop of salted caramel ice cream and another of triple chocolate ice cream, finished with hot fudge sauce, caramel sauce, sprinkles and whipped cream, no five year old should have that much sugar in their body but he was starting to realize he was a softie. They sat in a turquoise leather booth with with a white table, and while they waited they did a bunch of puzzles that there were on the table, when the waitress brought them their ice creams Lily's mood changed, he expected her to be over the moon but instead she was wrinkling her eyebrows and starring at her plate.

"Do you like my mommy?" It was so sudden that he nearly chocked on his ice cream.

"Uhm...yeah, very much." He wasn't sure how to explain what he felt to a kid, he couldn't even explain it to himself sometimes.

"So now we're going to live with you?" He actually was something that he thought about previously, but he didn't know if Lisa was going to return or if Sansa even wanted to move in with him in the first place, not to mention that their relationship is still very new.

"Would you like that?" He asked her, she looked like she was in deep thought.

"I don't know, can Lady go to?" He smiled at her answer, she was so sweet.

"Of course, I would love to have Lady at my house."

She didn't ask any other questions, just ate in silence, Jon didn't mind that. She needed time, which he was more than glad to give. But once they left and started driving back home, she began again.

"Are you my daddy?" She asked out of the blue. Shit.

"I...you...you already have one." Right? This whole parental rights thing was to complicated for him.

"He doesn't like me." Seeing Lily with tears in her eyes made him want to kill Joffrey. "You're more fun than him, he never took me to get ice cream." Jon had to take a deep breath not to cry. She sounded so sad.

"I will never be your dad, I can't take his place, it's not fair. But I'll always be here, okay?" She nodded. "You and me we'll have so much fun together, we'll do everything you've always wanted to do, specially the things your mom doesn't let." Jon winked and Lily smiled, he probably shouldn't have said that last part.

"Mommy never let's me stay in my pyjamas all day, if I live with you can I do it?" Lily was milking this situation as much as she could.

"Really?! That's the only right way of being in the house, your mom is crazy!" And that was wrong to say as well but Lily laughed so it was worth it.

"Oh! And can we have a goat?"

"For dinner? You want to have goat for dinner, is that it?" That's got be the only thing she's referring.

"No, silly! You don't eat goats, they're pets, I've always wanted a dog and a goat." Why couldn't the dog be good enough?

"I'm gonna get in a lot of trouble but I'll buy you a goat." Lily squealed and started to jump on her seat, she was beaming. And now Jon had to find a place that sells goats and somehow convince the Starks on keeping one at home.

When they finally arrived at his place, much later than he had planned to, Jon noticed Sansa was asleep but then Ghost began barking and she woke up, when she saw them she got up and walked in their direction. She looked a lot healthier already.

"Mommy! We bought so many things for ghost, we had ice cream the best ever, and we did puzzles and now I'm going to spend the day on my pyjamas and Jon is going to buy me a goat! I had so much fun!" Apparently pinky swears meant nothing to Lily. Sansa didn't look mad, she was just a little bit confused with all that her daughter was saying, she had used the word ice cream and goat in the same sentence, it was definitely odd.

"Why don't you show Ghost what we got for him." Jon said quickly, Lily happily took the several bags from his hands and went to the kitchen, where Ghost was staying.

"What's happening?" Sansa asked and he explained everything, even the questions about Joffrey and moving in with Jon.

Sansa said she was going to talk to Lily about it later, yet she didn't told him if it was something she was up to, living with him.

"It's been a while since I've seen her this happy, thank you. My love." Sansa kissed him, the only thing missing to make this day even more perfect was Lisa.

"I love you too and I don't care what you say, I'll buy that goat and raised it myself, who knows maybe I even get a chicken and a pig." Sansa slapped him in the chest in a playful manner.

He was about to kiss her but then Lily reminded him of his duty. He and Sansa had plenty of time to kiss later, now he had a dog to bathe. May God help him.

* * *

 

Three days later and Jon was behind the counter of his bar closing the register, about to go home, he had already lit up the sign that said close so he wasn't expecting anyone else yet the door opened all the same. It was Lisa, she looked like she hadn't slept in over a week, her clothes were all crumpled and she was stumbling, this wasn't good. She was high or drunk. She almost fell but somehow managed to seat herself in one of the stools, if Jon was to speak to her he had to try a different approach.

"What can I get you?" He asked.

"Whiskey, double. Leave the bottle." Probably he should've said no, but he poured her a drink anyway. And then poured one for himself too.

"I should be in jail, that's where I belong." She told him after gulping down her drink.

"Me too." Jon had a criminal record for small thefts he did back in the day, some he never got caught.

"Stealing convenience stores doesn't get near to what I've done. You've no idea."

"I'm all hears." He put on a brave face, afraid of what she was going to tell him.

"I'm a Lannister you see, when the bastards found out about my addiction they kicked me out, just like that. I had to survive so I started working in this bar, a really fancy place, I was a bartender but quickly enough I realized that there were faster ways of earning money, I didn't mind having old men fucking me, I was so high I could barely move and feel a thing and they always gave good tips." Jon was sick to his stomach. "The owner of the place is someone you should not fuck with, you can but he never ends well, I saw it with my own eyes, instead of going to the cops I would clean the crime scene, there were times I went to the docks, once you put a man in a bag with a bunch of rocks he ceases to exist. Goes to sleep with the fishes." This was to much, Lisa had a past he just didn't know it was this dark, this violent.

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"So you won't be surprised with what I tell you next."

"What did you do?" He was terrified of asking at this point.

"I found out something about Joffrey, he's going to be a father and plans on leaving everything to the baby, that's why he gave up on Lily." He wasn't surprised, Joffrey was a vindictive man. "And of course being the fucking coward that I am, I've decided to help my cousin Cersei, you saved my life and yet I turned my back on you and Sansa and what for? It didn't work, my friend is still in deep shit and I have an headache. I'm a monster." Jon was felling various emotions, pity, anger, regret but above all he was relieved Lisa was here with him.

She had betrayed him and Sansa, spent years lying to his face and had done unspeakable things, she had help people getting rid of dead bodies, maybe even killed someone or more, he should hate her. But this was Lisa, his best friend, the one who had been by his side when his world was falling apart, and the one who has saved him countless times, if it wasn't for her Sansa would've never been his, without her he wasn't Jon, they were a team, Jon and Lisa, she has shaped him into what he is today, the same way he did for her. No one can live in the past, it only brings pain and memories that turn people bitter and cold, he didn't care about who she had been, the girl who's standing in front of him now, broken and lost is the only one that matters, she's the one Jon loves so as everybody that knows her, she's a good person, the best there is.

He walked up to her but she moved away so he grabbed her arm and made her look into his eyes, eyes that had tears on it.

"You fucking idiot! Why did you ran away?"

"I...I couldn't..." She was crying too.

"Never leave again, promise me!" He embraced her with all of his strength, he didn't want to let go, he couldn't lose her again. She held on to him and sobbed.

"What about Sansa? She..." Lisa could even speak at this point.

"She loves you, she's proud of you. You've seen things and experience things that would break even the toughest of people and yet here you stand a new person. The person that saved my life and gave my daughter a new one." Sansa said, she had came to visit him earlier today and had stayed the whole time helping him. She was in the back when Lisa arrived but she didn't misheard their conversation.

Lisa let go of Jon and ran to hug Sansa and apologize several times, she kept repeating that she was sorry. It was almost like a prayer.

"Welcome back, we've missed you." They did, all of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter it's Sansa's turn to spend sometime alone with Jon and well they both get a little bit carried out. I might even have to change the rating. 
> 
> Who knows.


	13. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa and Jon's relationship takes another step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm still alive btw. I've been wanting to post something but I've been stuck, nothing would come to my head and all my ideias were shitty so I decided to leave this fic on hold for a while, and guess what? Now I feel like I'm on a roll, I've already wrote two more chapters. Anyway I really want this story to pick up the pace (something I feel it hasn't). I changed the timeline a bit and so it's been five months since the events of last chapter.
> 
> Also there's smut in this one (I'm not really good at it). Hope you enjoy it.

Sansa Stark

5 months later

**Jon : Is that okay with you?**

**Sansa : Yes, absolutely. I'll be there.**

Thank God Jon texted her, otherwise he would've heard how nervous she was, tomorrow night they were going to celebrate the fact that they had been together for six months, they were going to the movies and then would return to his apartment, Jon asked her if she wanted to stay the night and afraid of hurting his feelings Sansa accepted. She had been spending so much time in his place already but staying for a few hours and spending the actual night were very different.

Jon should get an award for his patience, they had never done more than kiss, not even touching, Jon said he was going to await and being the man he was he kept his word, Joffrey barely waited a month before making her touch him.

She started seeing a therapist a few weeks ago, in secret, and honestly it's been helping a lot. She feels like she's progressing but there are still walls that need to be put down, and having sex with her amazing boyfriend who would never harm her was one of those. The fear that Jon will rejected her the moment he sees her body is crippling, after giving birth her body was never the same as before not to mention the scars and marks that taint her once pristine skin, she knows Jon doesn't care about any of that, she's just making excuses trying to buy time.

For all she knows nothing will happen, just because she's going to sleep at his apartment doesn't necessarily mean that Jon will want to have sex, they had many opportunities before and he never tried, why tonight would be any different?

Still a small part of her wanted to, her therapist said that she should start challenging herself a little, to overcome her fears and see if she could do it, and that's why she wanted to try, maybe she won't make it but she can't spend the rest of her life living with demons that no longer can get her, Joffrey doesn't exist anymore.

Ever since he signed the divorce papers and gave up on his parental rights, Sansa has no idea where he is, Tyrion told her that he moved out of Kings Landing and now he's living in The Westerlands, where his mother side of the family grew up, he's living with his girlfriend, who if Lisa's words are to be believed, could give birth at any moment. Despite hating Joffrey with all of her being, Sansa does not hold a grudge against Ros, his girlfriend, she doesn't even know her if something she feels sorry for her, Joffrey is going to make her life a living hell (maybe he already is) and their child will be exactly like Lily, unloved.

That was another thing, Lily doesn't ask about Joffrey as often as before and her bond with Jon as really deepened, she's constantly, talking about him and they are always going on little adventures together with Lisa or sometimes alone, just last week her daughter went fishing for the first time, they only caught two or three fishes but the look of wonder in her eyes when she came back and told Sansa made her heart burst with joy, her daughter never did a thing with Joffrey not even going to the park. Jon was changing that, he was giving Lily the perfect childhood, she knew Jon was also experiencing all of that for the first time as well, not having his father around was hard and he might not show it but it's clear that's something that still hurts him.

She's happy that the two of them can enjoy all of the things that Sansa did when she was growing up, it's all she's ever wanted for Lily and now for Jon as well, because he might be a grown man but it's never to late to start over. She's the perfect example of that.

Life as been so perfect that it actually scares her, for years all she's ever known was misery and pain, she's afraid one day she's going to awake up and all of this will be a lie. If that's the case then Sansa will do everything to enjoy it as best as she can. Luckily she as Lisa with her to show her how to have fun, after finding out the truth about her past, Sansa and Jon chose to forget about it, it wouldn't do no one any good if they resent her for things that happened years ago before they even met her. Lisa was a wild person, but in a good way, she lived her life in the moment and without regrets, slowly Sansa has been learning a few things with her even going as far as to get a tattoo, a small lily flower on her ankle.

One day at the time and she'll make it.

* * *

 

"What are you thinking?!" Her mother shouting at eight in the morning made Sansa jump out of her bed and run downstairs, she isn't afraid of Joffrey showing up anymore but still this couldn't be good.

"What's going on?" She asked to no one in particular, her dad had left to deal with some things work related and so it was only Arya, Rickon and her mother.

"Arya is leaving the house to go and live by herself." Rickon answered, he was unbothered with the situation.

"I'm not going to be alone! Lisa and Gendry are going to live with me as well." _Wait... what?_

"What do mean Lisa is going to live with you?" Did Jon knew about this? Sansa felt hurt.

"Yes, she and Gendry. We decided to keep it a secret because we were still looking for a place and only got a confirmation yesterday." Arya was exasperated, which wasn't fair. She brought all of this on herself, her sister loved keeping everyone in the dark.

Somethings should be private of course, but not this. Arya was just twenty years old, didn't go to college, her jobs weren't stable, she was still figuring out her life, and yes she as all the right to her independence if that's what she wants to but she should stay for just a few more months until she's sure she can actually make it. Sansa didn't want her sister to make the same mistakes as her, she too left the house with just eighteen and that turned out to be a nightmare, Arya didn't have a Joffrey in her life but still that doesn't mean things will be sunshine and rainbows from here on now.

"Arya please reconsider." Her mother had tears in her eyes.

"Have faith in me, it's all I ask. I know I haven't given you a lot of reasons to do that lately, but mom I have to go, I need to start taking charge of my life, I can't live with you guys forever. I'll be fine, trust me." Arya said almost crying too, she could be reckless but was also a very mature young woman, and she wasn't one to give up without a fight.

Arya maybe struggle at first but she won't give up at the first obstacle she encounters, she's so different than Sansa in that aspect. She wishes she had half of the courage her sister has.

"When your father gets home we'll talk better about this, it's not like I can chain you here forever." Her mother finally caved in.

"I'm actually surprised you haven't tried it yet." Rickon joked, Arya laughed and ruffled his hair.

"I have to leave, Lisa's already waiting for me." Arya said picking up her keys, kissing her mother on the cheek and then leaving.

It was summer break so Rickon instead of going back to bed like most kids his age, rushed to the living room to play video games while her mother started on breakfast. Sansa headed upstairs again to wake up Lily who was still sleeping, she's been staying in Robb's old room since he doesn't live with them anymore for years now. Bran also left, because he was going to college in a few months he and his friends decided to travel across Westeros during their vacation, it would only be a matter of time before he left the house as well. Sansa was the only one who still was here, Rickon didn't count because he was just fifteen, he didn't really had a choice, yet Sansa in a way didn't had one either.

Because of Joffrey she never went to college, he forbade her to do that and to get a job. Cooking and cleaning is more than enough, she can still remember his exact words, she had been so stupid and naïve that she actually enjoyed them, she thought of them as a compliment, that he was going to take care of her, now she knows the truth, Joffrey was trying to make her a prisoner, if she couldn't provide for herself and her daughter how could she leave him?

So now she's almost twenty five years old and still relying on her mom and dad to survive, without them she would've been lost, raising a child is expensive and it's unfair that she makes her parents pay for all the bills, they said countless times before that they are fine with that, Lily is their granddaughter and she will have everything she needs, Cersei sends a check every week as well, one that much to her shame she accepts, she spends all the money on her daughter of course but still she wants to see herself free from that family. Luckily Lily is old enough to finally start attending kindergarten and she will in September, giving Sansa an opportunity to find a job and later on a place to live, but with the news that Lisa is going to move out of the apartment she shares with Jon things change, she knows Jon wants to live with her and she wants the same too but she can't, he and Lisa split all the expenses, with her departure Jon will have to pay for all himself and because Sansa is unable to contribute she doesn't want him to work more just for her and her daughter, it's not fair and he already does so much for them that she can't ask him or can accept something like that, living off her parents was more than enough already, she didn't want to trouble anyone else.

When she arrived at Lily's room, her daughter was still sleeping peacefully, so peacefully that Sansa didn't want to wake her up so she just layed at her side, stroking her hair and inhaling her smell, she smelled like home, Winterfell.

Sansa fell asleep again and only woke up when her mother gently started to call her name. She was smiling down at both Sansa and Lily.

"What time is it?" She asked still half asleep.

"Just past ten. Rickon already devoured breakfast but I can make some pancakes and eggs for both of you."

"There's no need for it mom, I'm not hungry and Lily can just have cereal. I'm sorry I fell asleep." The last thing she wanted was to be seen as lazy, she couldn't pay rent but she could help her mother around the house.

"It's okay, sometimes even I need a few more hours of sleep." Wonder woman was nothing compared to their mother, all of her life as been dedicated to Sansa and her siblings.

"Mom, I hate to do this but can I ask you a favour?"

"Of course, anything."

"Can you stay with Lily? I...I'm going to spend the night at Jon's apartment. We're actually celebrating six months together and he... I think it'll be a good idea." Her mother's facial expression changed, she looked worried.

"Do you want to?" _She did right?_ Sansa was thorned.

"I-I don't know, I mean..." She's always been very opened with her mother about every aspect of her life but talking about sex was something she didn't know how to approach it. "We haven't done anything yet, Jon is giving me time but I'm afraid he'll get tired of waiting."

"We both know that's not true. You know why I supported your decision to date Jon so soon after your divorce?" Sansa shook her head. "Because unlike Joffrey, Jon is a great man and loves you fiercely, whatever you choose to do he'll support you." That was truth.

"The thing is...I want to do it, with Joffrey it was always against..." She couldn't finish, the memory was still to painful.

"Sansa, I know what Joffrey did to you and I'm so sorry, letting you date that boy is something I will never forgive myself for. Giving yourself to someone doesn't have to be an obligation, it's something pure, it's more than just two people seeking pleasure, there's a connection and bond like no other you've experienced. Take your time if you have to, Jon will understand."

"Thank you, mom." Sansa hugged, she was so grateful to have someone to talk about it.

"I just want to see you happy. All of you." Her mother was talking about Arya was well.  
  
"Mommy, I'm hungry." Lily had just woken up but before Sansa had a chance to reply, her mother was already carrying her granddaughter downstairs to cook something for her.

She had a supporting family, a loving boyfriend and a precious daughter, yes she was happy.

* * *

 

Later at night Sansa was driving to Jon's, he had planned on picking her up and have dinner and afterwards they would go to the movies but Jon changed his mind at the last minute, saying that it was best if she went to his place. She raised the radio volume as a distraction, she didn't want to overthink and end up by making a fool of herself and ruin what could be a perfect night for the both of them. She really wanted everything to go well, so this afternoon she and Maergery went out on a little shopping trip since Sansa didn't really had many clothes that she could say were fancy or fashionable, her whole wardrobe consisted mainly on jeans and cardigans, Joffrey didn't want her to show any skin, but even now that she's divorced and can wear whatever she wants, Sansa can't afford herself to such luxuries but Maergery being as stubborn as she is offered to pay for everything much to her disagreement.

They spent the whole afternoon picking an outfit, at the hairdresser, and the nail salon. She can't even remember the last time she did all of those things, it felt good to go out with Maergery as they used to back when they were teenagers. She ended up by buying a vintage floral dress, it showed more skin than what she was comfortable of but Maergery insisted that she looked gorgeous and honestly she felt so too.

Despite having been given a set of keys by Jon, Sansa still knocked on the door and in less than ten seconds Jon opened. He was wearing grey pants and black shirt that somehow made him look even more muscular than he already his, his hair was tied up in a manbun but she prefers it when his curls are all loose.

"Wow! You...God..." she blushed furiously, Jon always did that to her.

After kissing her, Jon took her hand and lead her to his small patio. When she arrived there Sansa had to pinch herself, the whole place had several lightbulbs hanging, hundreds of flowers, it was one of the most romantic things she's ever seen, it was so unexpected that she began to cry. Jon came from behind and just held her close to his chest.

"I love you." Jon said.

Afterwards they both sat across each other and had dinner, Jon was an amazing cook and he had made her favourite dish and dessert for tonight, honestly it felt like it was too much, more than she deserves.

"You know we could've just gone out, you didn't had to go trough all of this work." She said, feeling a little bit embarrassed.

"Nonsense, nothing will ever be enough for you." She blushed once again. Jon got up and grabbed her hand.

"Can I have this dance?" She giggled but nodded.

She didn't know what song it was playing but she loved it, Jon had both of his hands on her waist while hers were wrapped around the back of his neck. Sansa was the one who kissed him first, Jon gave in but it was clear that he was holding back, he always did that afraid that he would lose his control or somehow hurt her. Before she could register, his hands were all over her body so were his lips, she was starting to feel a tension coil inside her and this time she wasn't going to stop it.

"Jon, let's go to bed" her voice was confident. "I don't want to wait any longer."

"Sansa...are you sure? I told you I would wait and I will if that's what you want to."

Instead of answering, Sansa began kissing him to make her point across. Jon didn't take much coaxing and in less than a minute was picking her up bridal style and carrying her to his room.

When they arrived there Jon put her down and went to stand next to his nightstand, a hurricane could come and she's certain Jon won't move. He was just staring at her.

"What... what are you doing?"

"You tell me." She thought maybe he was drunk.

"Sorry?"

"If anything is to happen tonight, I want you to want it. That's why you're the one in charge, if you want me to kiss you I will, if you want me dance just pick a song, if you want me to sing prepare yourself to be amazed. I'm yours to command." Sansa laughed.

To know that she had full control of the situation made her less nervous, and made her love Jon even more for it, somebody else probably wouldn't do this.

"Lay down with me." she said a softly, already making her way to his bed.

Once she layed down, Jon soon followed her example and was standing next to her but wasn't touching her. She turned to face him and he did the same, he was looking at her as if seeking permission.

"Jon, please. I know I'm safe." And she was.

Slowly he got on his knees and started taking her dress gently, Sansa helped a bit and in no time she was in only her black lingerie (courtesy of Maergery Tyrell), Jon began licking his lips and his eyes became even darker than they already were, it send a shiver down her spine, he saw her scars and marks and somehow ignore them, he made her feel beautiful. He then removed his clothes as well, only staying in his boxers, the sigh of him made her gasped. She also noticed a scar on his chest, a large one, now wasn't the time but she was going to ask him about it someday.

"What do you like?" He asked, Sansa turned her face away in embarrassment.

Joffrey was the only man she's ever been with, even before he turned violent the sex between them as everything but passionate or romantic, he only wanted to seek his pleasure, never did once he cared about her own, much to her shame Sansa has never had an orgasm, she barely knew what making love was, everytime she would just lay there and hoping for it to be over soon. She only knew humiliation.

"Hey, it's okay. Let me show you."

He began slowly, kissing her cheek and around the edges of her lips. Then he brought his hand slowly up her neck and caressing her cheeks. Sansa's breath was caught in her troath now that Jon was on top of her, she didn't feel panic or fear, just anticipation of what was to come. Knowing that Jon would be at a snails pace all night, Sansa grabbed his face in both of her hands and kissed him with all of her strength, Jon actually let out a breath and pushed his tongue into her mouth, Sansa was still wearing her lacy bra but the feel of Jon's bare chest against her breast was a turn on, she started moaning and that pressure between her legs was becoming unbearable. When she felt his lips sucking on her pulse point, hungrily and stopping in between to graze his teeth there, Sansa swore she was going to faint, her breath was coming in pants and she could feel moisture gathering at her tights, all of these sensations were new to her and God did she want more.

"I love you, all of you." He whispered.

"Your ears" he started nipping at them.

"Your nose, your lips, your cheeks." With his finger he was tracing every feature in her face. "You're perfect and I don't deserve you, but I'll keep you, as long as you'll have me."

"Forever...I-I love you." It was getting hard to speak and the fact that his free hand was massaging her breasts wasn't helping.

"Can I take this off?" He was referring to her bra, which she eagerly agreed. It was only in the way.

"Your beautiful." There were a few stretch marks around her breasts but Jon didn't seem to care. Joffrey always made sure to point that out and blaming her, as if she asked for it.

Jon made her forget about it by rubbing her nipples, and squeezing her breasts lightly. She was lost.

"Oh..." her body was on fire, she couldn't take it anymore. "I...more."  
On cue, Jon left her neck and lowered his head to kiss and suck on her nipples. She wasn't the only one aroused, Jon's length was poking her stomach by the feel of it, Jon was very endowed, that only made her even more aroused than before. Despite loving all that he was doing Sansa wanted him to enjoy this as well, after all he waited six long months (why did she wait so much?), so she spread her legs and was tugging at his boxers, Jon took her hand away.

"We have all night for that, right now your all that matters."

"I'm going to pass out." She said half true half joking, he laughed and his eyes were shinning with happiness.

"I'm no were near done, please don't let this night end in the emergency room." She was the one laughing now.

After her breasts, he kissed down a path along her ribs. It was enough to make her body tingle, his hands were massing her stomach and the lower they went the more she craved him, she had no idea what she was feeling by now but it was divine. She raised her bum and Jon slid her panties off, this was supposed to be the moment she started freaking out and see Joffrey's face, but she didn't, it was a sign that she was okay, that she was human again. After years on end, Sansa Stark was herself again.

As he was about to touch where she needed the most, Jon sat on his haunches. He was torturing her, she liked that he was taking his time but this was to much already, her body was trembling and she was desperate to have him in every way possible and imaginable.

"Do you want to stop?" She saw his lips twitch and his eyes held mischief, he was doing this on purpose.

"I swear to God that if you stop, I'll kick you in the balls." At this point she couldn't care less.

After some more teasing, Jon finally put his lips down there. It was so sudden that she jumped, no one as ever done this to her, Jon actually had to grab her waist to keep her still, otherwise she was going to hurt him. Her hands went to those black curls she so much loved and griped them with a force that most likely was hurting him. He just groan and that sent vibrations throughout her whole body. Jon definitely knew what he was doing, he was licking and sucking her clit greedily, then backing off to lap at her folds. She was screaming now.

"Jon! Oh... please don't stop!" Thank God Lisa wasn't home, otherwise she wouldn't be able to sleep with all the noise.

When Jon inserted his index and and middle finger inside her wet pussy, Sansa died and went to heaven. She could feel her pussy squeezing tighter and tighter.

"I'm...ohhhh! Fuck!" She exploded. Her spine was tingling and she felt a massive euphoric feeling all over her, making her vision blurry and her head dizzy.

Jon kept going until the waves of pleasure washed down over her. She forgot her own name and she was seeing stars. Nothing else mattered, no one else existed, just her and Jon, the man she had been waiting for her whole life, her salvation.

"Was it good?" She didn't even noticed that Jon was beside her holding her now, she was still floating around.

"I didn't want it to end."

"It doesn't have too." She knew what he was implying and she couldn't wait any longer for it.

"Make love to me, Jon Snow."

He was in such a hurry that removing his boxers proved to be quite the task, she laughed at him the whole time, after taking a condom from his nightstand and placing it at a record speed, Sansa still wasn't on the pill, Jon lowered himself and she caged his body with her tights. Without ever taking his eyes out of her, it was hypnotic, Jon rubbed the tip of his up and down her soaking folds, making her shiver and slowly not to hurt her, he started to guide himself inside her. He was big, much bigger and it had been quite sometime since she's had sex so at first he felt a little bit uncomfortable, but as he began to move that feeling went away.

"Shit! You feel so good around me, I'm not..." This was their first time but she knew that Jon wasn't going to last long not because he was inexperienced but because it's been a while, she could hardly blame him if he cums right now. She's surprised he hasn't yet.

Sansa gripped his ass urging him on, his movements became faster but steady. They weren't making love, this was rough and primal but in a way that made her mad with lust, all that could be heard were her moans and his groans and that obscene noise of flesh on flesh, she started rocking her hips and Jon grabbed hold of her legs and placed them on his shoulders, the change of angle made her experience things she didn't know existed.

"Oh, so hot and tight. I've...you have no idea." Jon was babbling.

"Harder! Fuck me... like that!" She couldn't believe her own words.

"Sansa, mine...all mine. Fucking hell! I'm going to cum!" Jon kissed her fiercely and sloppy, he was sweating, his sweat as mingling with her own, she could taste herself in his mouth, and his heart was pounding against her chest, if he kept going like this, he was going to be the one in the hospital.

Sensing his own downfall, Jon started rubbing her clit, Sansa was so close. She couldn't speak anymore, only moan and somehow even grunt.

"So good, yes...oh..."

"Cum for me, I want to feel your cunt clench around my cock." Jon never spoke to her like this, she decided she enjoyed it.

He lost his rhythm and with three final messy strokes he came.

"Ahhh! " He was shaking like a leaf and Sansa fell with him trough the depths of pleasure.

That warm sensation crawling all over her body returned, their entire bodies were in absolute harmony, one body one soul. Everything was exactly as it was supposed to be, here with Jon on top of her kissing her and whispering sweet nothings in her ear, it was home. She was were she belonged, in his arms.

They both took a few minutes to recover from their orgasm, Jon was holding her tight against his chest. After the birth of Lily, this was the happiest day of her life, now that she wasn't in that state of pure bliss anymore, reality started to sink in once again. She couldn't fight the sob that escaped her.

Jon turned her around, "did I hurt you?" His pained express only made things worst.

"No, you were perfect, this whole night was perfect."

"And that scares you?" Jon could read her mind, that was her only explanation.

"What if I wake up tomorrow and it's over? I can't lose you."

"What did I tell you about what ifs?" She remembers that conversation vividly. "You're with me now, focused on that and only that. Stay with me in this moment and don't think about anything else, I'm not going anywhere, not now not ever. I love you so much that it terrifies me, God knows I'm not a good man, I can't still believe that you chose me, I'm good at fucking things up and hurting people, but never you. You and Lily are my everything, I'll spend the rest of my life proving that. I promise you'll never be alone again, I'm not leaving."

"Promise?" She asked but he only kissed her. That was the only conformation she needed.

They made love again that night, this time they took things slowly, they said everything without using words, every touch, every kiss, caress, carried so much more that what they could ever say.

* * *

 

Next morning Sansa woke up with her face buried in Jon's chest, she stayed there for a while listening to his breathing, touching his face, memorising every single detail on him, specially his scars, she wanted to take the pain away. But she was interrupted when Jon's phone buzzed, it was a text message from Lisa

She opened it, Jon didn't mind.

 **Lisa: I need a coffee and a raise, asap!**  
**Ps: this is the first and last time you make me sleep in the truck**.

Sansa giggled, she could clearly picture how Lisa must be right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? Should I even keep going?


	14. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon deals with everything that's been happening, people are coming and others are going. He's not sure he can't cope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is going to be a little bit intense since he explores a lot of Jon's background, but it ends well and there's some humour too (I have a dark humor so I apologize already in advance)
> 
> Dialogue heavy.

 

Jon Snow

He knew this was bound to happen sooner or later, he has been preparing for days now but as the boxes keep piling up in his living room, and has less and less traces of Lisa's presence can be found, Jon feels a void inside of him. In just a few days time Lisa would finally leave their apartment, the place they've been sharing for almost five years, the place were they both overcame their demons, where they laughed and cried together, the home they built that didn't feel like home anymore, just four walls and a bunch furniture scattered around.

Lisa didn't have to leave to become independent, she already was that. She's leaving because Jon wants to finally start a life together with Sansa and Lily and there's not enough space for all of them, that's what's hurting the most, he didn't want to choose between the love of his life and his best friend/sister but he didn't really had to, Lisa made that for him, that girl had a heart of gold (she won't ever admit it). Jon will miss her, they still work together of course and her new house is just ten minutes away from his but it's not the same, it will never be the same.

"If you break it, you pay it!" Lisa shouted at Gendry, he has been helping around lately with the move.

"Do you need help?" Jon asked.

"No, were good. Aren't we Gendry?" He just shrugged and laughed.

Jon went back to the kitchen to prepare them something to eat, he wanted to be with them cracking jokes and laughing but his mind was somewhere else, somewhere darker.

"Fucking hell, Jon! Cheer up man, you're finally getting rid of me." _Exactly_. 

Sensing the heavy atmosphere, Gendry left with the excuse he had to take a call.

"You don't have to go, this apartment is mine as it is yours." He said with his back turned, if he looked at her now he would crumble.

"Jon we're not kids anymore, we haven't been for a while. You and Sansa are the real deal, things are finally looking out for you two, you're becoming the man you've always wanted to be if I stay here...I don't to be in the way."

"You're not! You're right I want to be with Sansa but if that means losing you I..." He had no idea how to finish that sentence. He felt guilty and selfish, Lisa didn't had to go trough all this because of him.

"Is that what you think, that you're losing me? I couldn't be any happier for you, and as much as I love this place and ghost, your happiness will always come in first. Sansa is that, she and Lily have changed you in more ways than I can count, if someone deserves to have a boring life with a wife, kids and a bunch of puppies running around that person is you." Jon didn't like to cry, once he started he couldn't stop and it was to painful but in that moment he couldn't contain himself.

"Don't you dare cry! This is not a goodbye, not even a see you soon. See it as the beginning of a new chapter, I couldn't be any prouder of you and of what's to come. I love you man." She hugged him and Jon just sobbed in her shoulder.

It's funny that they are in this position now, crying over the fact that she's only going to be a few miles away from him. When he first met her in rehab, Jon hated Lisa, it wasn't hard really. Honestly nobody could stand her at first, she was constantly being rude and hostile even going as far as to insult them, she was a spoiled little brat or so he thought, she was wearing a mask just an act to try and make others go away, deep down she was alone and scared, with no one to call family or friend, they were much of the same. Somehow Jon managed to break those wall that surrounded her, and ever since then they've been inseparable. If he's now dating Sansa, Lisa is the one who did that, she was the one who helped with the bar, with the apartment, with his sobriety, she was his rock. Most people look at them and think they are a couple, or used to but there as never been anything romantic about their relationship, their bond goes deeper than that, it's something that he can't explain but it's a connection that only happens in a lifetime if you're lucky, no matter what he does, Lisa will always have his back and vice versa and the fact that she's moving away only proves that.

"Punch me if you must but you're the best person this world as ever seen." Lisa grimaced, she was her worst enemy. She couldn't see that she no longer is the person she was years ago, everybody has forgiven her but herself.

"And just like that you've ruined a perfect moment." She walked away. "Try not to fuck things up with Sansa as well, after all I'm going to be living with two people that can kill each other at any moment, don't make me regret this." He had to laugh, Gendry and Arya were in love but would rather die than to admit it to anyone.

The other part, the one where Lisa mentioned Sansa, well that was more complicated. He didn't want to think about it now, he still doesn't know if she's going to accept his offer of moving in with him, they've talked about it countless times already and now that their relationship is progressing a lot faster, just last week she gave herself to him completely and without any fears, he would've waited a lifetime for it if that's what she desired but it only took six months, and Jon will never forget how brave she was for doing that, it was the biggest prove she could ever give him, it meant that she trusted him and that the fears from the past no longer tormented her.

Yet there were still a lot of obstacles ahead of them and their social status was just one of the few. Sansa grew up with the perfect family in a mansion in Winterfell, he has never been there but he knows the place is beautiful, far more beautiful than flea bottom that's for sure. Sansa and Lily deserve the world and more, for years they never had that because of Joffrey and now if she truly decides to live with him, he's afraid things will be the same. He will never harm any of them, but the truth is that he can't afford to give Sansa and her daughter the life they're used to, he can't afford a bigger place, is bar is profitable but not that much, he can't take her to fancy dinner parties like the ones she went with her ex husband, he can't even make Lily go to a private school. He's terrified a part of her is going to refuse him for it, she just wants her daughter to have a decent life and Jon maybe won't be able to do it, all he has is his love and support and he desperately needs it to be enough, it has to be.

"Gendry! You broke my stereo, that's it. Don't worry about Arya, I'll kill you myself." And with that Jon rushed outside. Right now preventing a murder was a good enough of a distraction.

* * *

 

"Jon!" It was eight in the morning in a Sunday but seeing Lily's face light up with excitement was more than worth it.

It has become sort of a tradition for a while now, every Sunday Jon and Lisa spend the day with the Starks at their house. Sansa's all family get together and they cook and now that is summer go to the pool and just spend some quality time with everyone, they've been doing that for years, Sansa normally wouldn't come because Joffrey didn't allow it but now she doesn't have to worry about that, Jon will never forbide her from doing a thing.

At first he wasn't comfortable, it just didn't feel right to be a part of something so intimate as this, after all it wasn't is family, he dated Sansa but still that didn't give him to right to show up at every family gathering, quickly Catelyn and Ned Stark changed his mind, they welcome him as a son and Jon was forever grateful for that, he and Lisa never really had a family, his friend was raised by people who were payed for it and Jon only had his mother, having barbecues and picnics was something that they just didn't do.

Everyone was already in the kitchen waiting for them, including Sansa who was helping her mother cook alongside Maergery, she and Robb had spent the night there as well. But before he and Lisa could join them, Lily dragged them to the backyard to show the house her grandfather built for lady, it really was something to behold, it was pink and had "Lady" written in glitter.

"I think we should get one for Ghost as well, don't you Jon?" _Yeah_ , Ghost was going to absolutely love it.

"Lily! Breakfast is ready!" Rickon told them from inside the house, Jon couldn't wait to see Sansa, due to the fact that she was most likely cooking up a storm they didn't even had the opportunity to stay hello yet.

"I love pancakes and syrup!" By now Jon knew by heart every single one of Lily's favourite dishes, and much to Sansa's despair, the sweeter the better.

"I know you do, just go easy on that syrup or before you noticed, you're selling your crayons for more of it." _Did Lisa just say that to a five year old?_ Was she mad? Jon just stared at her dumbfound, Lily giggled at his expense.

"What? I wish someone would've told me that when I was her age, it would've spared me so much trouble. Life lessons Jon, life lessons."

"Stop talking..."

"Is Lisa cursing in front of Lily again?" Sansa was walking towards them, even in her pyjamas and without any makeup or her hair fixed she could still leave him speechless, she was perfect in any way, best of all she was his.

"It was only that one time! Jesus, You say a little f word and people won't ever shut up about it." Lisa was a terrible babysitter, that's just a fact, the last time she was alone with Lily they had ice cream for dinner, Sansa told him that afterwards Lily was up all night.

Sansa came near him and gave him a soft kiss on the lips, her kisses were always soft. They walked hand in hand back inside, by now it wasn't a surprise to anyone that they were a couple, at first they had been a bit surprised that they were dating but were happy nonetheless, like Jon Sansa's family only wanted to see her happy, and she was. Jon doesn't like bragging about it, he doesn't feel it should, but ever since Sansa started dating him she's different, he didn't know how she was before Joffrey but Arya told him once that's she's slowly returning to that happy and bubbly person they grew up with.

They changed each other, he made Sansa happier and in returned she gave him a purpose, now everything he does it's for her and her daughter, he's no longer that care free man he once was, he loves being like this. He can't wait to marry her and who knows maybe even have children of their own, his only regret is that his mother won't be here to see it, she always dreamed of having a big family and grandkids to spoil.

"Ms. Stark, if you keep feeding me like this I'm afraid I'll never leave." Lisa had already stuffed her face at this point.

"That's exactly what she wants, it's called "The Catelyn Stark trap"." Robb said and everyone laughed.

"I'm not proud but it does the trick." Catelyn replied. It sure did, her cooking was to die for.

"And it makes things harder for me, how can I ever compete with your skills in the kitchen?" Maergery said.

"There's no competition Maergery, I've tasted your food, if you can even call that food." The moment Lisa said that a fight broke down in the kitchen.

Everyone was speaking over each other, saying or denying who was better, they weren't really fighting they were just trying to get on each others skin in a playful manner. Jon was so focused on what was going on that he barely felt a hand on his shoulder, when he look up he was met with a pair of grey eyes and a solemn face, Ned Stark.

"Jon can we talk? In private." Ned Stark was so intimating that Jon couldn't even find the words to speak, he only got up and followed him. Sansa gave his hand a squeeze and a reassuring smile, unfortunately it did nothing to calm him.

Jon has been with Ned Stark many times before, but never alone. Sansa's father wasn't a scary man but he commanded respect and admiration, a part of why he was so nervous is because Jon kind of wishes he could be like that too, he never had no one to look up as a father growing up, and to see the way that Sansa and her siblings look at Ned makes him kind of sad. Maybe now that his life is coming together someday someone will look up at him that way.

Also Ned is very protective over his children, specially Sansa. That's got to be the only reason that he wants to talk with him, it's no secret that he wants to live with Sansa, he told Robb the other day and also Catelyn, by now Ned already must know and is trying to find out his motives.

Jon has never been in his of office before, the place is huge and looks almost regal, there were gigantic shelves with hundreds of books some of them even older than him, there was a fireplace and above it a family painting, Ned and Catelyn with their children, Sansa must've been no more than a child when they had it done, Bran was still a baby and Catelyn was pregnant with Rickon, they're all smiling even Ned, the painting was framed in silver. His desk was made of mahogany wood and had wolfs engraved in it, there were also three leather chairs, even this place was scary. Jon was already sweating bullets.

As soon as Ned sat down, he gestured Jon to do the same. He didn't know what to do now.

"I know what you are." It was all he said, no matter where Jon went his past would always haunt him.

"Sansa told you about my addiction, but I swear on my life that I-" Ned raised his hand mid air, immediately Jon stooped.

"I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about your name. You're a Targaryen." _How?_ No one knew about that, not even Lisa or Sam. Jon was going to take that secret to his grave.

His father was older than his mother, they met when he came to do in internship in Kings Landing, because he came from a very prominent family they never made their relationship official, he didn't even wanted to be seen in public with Jon's mom, Lyanna Snow came from a poor family, her father was nothing more than a plumber, if people were to find out about their romance it would be a scandal. That's the story his mother would tell every time he asked, but then she got sick and decided she didn't want anymore secrecy and so she told him the truth, all of it.

Jon was a Targaryen, his father was Raeghar Targaryen, his family lived in Dorne and they were one of the richest in Westeros. He knew some of them from the news, his aunt Daenerys Targaryen was known for her charity work involving child labour and women trafficking that happened across the Narrow Sea, he also had a brother and a sister and from what he knows they all work in the family business, his father is married and when he met his mother he was already engaged, yet that didn't stop him from seducing a seventeen year old girl who didn't know how wicked the world could be. Even after finding out that he didn't came from nothing and that his family was rich, Jon never made any effort of contacting them, he didn't need their money, it wasn't going to bring him happiness or his mother back, his father knew about him from the start, that was the only reason why he ran back home, he never cared for Jon, if he was dead or alive, when Lyanna died that man didn't even bother with sending flowers, so why would Jon want to meet him?

He didn't have a father, Raeghar was a stranger whom he shared blood with, no more.

"I know what I did was wrong but after what Sansa went through with Joffrey, I couldn't just let her date the first man who showed at my door so I hired someone to dig in your past. And that's how I knew." He couldn't blame Ned, if he had a daughter he would've done the same.

"I don't have anything to do with those people , I barely know them."

"But I do." That caught Jon off guard. "When I worked with Robert, in the beginning we had a few businesses with the Targaryen, your grandfather was a despicable man, when he was diagnosed with schizophrenia your father took over the company. He's...it wasn't always easy to deal with him, Robert hated him just the mention of his name was enough to make him see red. I always tried to give the benefit of the doubt to everyone, but after finding out what he did to you and your mother, I can see why so many people dislike him." That was new, yet Jon wasn't surprised that he's father was the way he was.

"I'm not him." He wasn't, he would never be.

"Jon, what you want do with Sansa, start a life it's not easy I can tell you that much. When I married Cat and we started our family it was rough, there was moments both of us wanted to give up and just quit. I just want to make sure that when things get complicated you won't leave my daughter, she's already suffered enough I can't allow it to happen again." Jon felt angry at his words.

"I believe that children are put in this world not to replicate their father's actions, but to make amends for it. I swore to myself many years ago that I would never be like that man, and I promise standing here now that I will never leave Sansa or Lily. I love your daughter with every single fiber in my being and Lily is already a daughter for me. You have my word." Jon extended his hand which Ned shook. He meant every single word, he was going to go anywhere. Someone would've to kill him first.

"Good." Ned semmed to believe him, thank God for it.

* * *

 

**Beep**

He was running through an hospital hallway, the lights were so bright he could barely open his eyes. There was no one in there, he could just hear the beeping noise and people screaming in pain, agony and sorrow. It didn't matter how much he ran, it didn't end, he was trapped inside his own mind.

***Beep***

_"Jon, I'm sick."_

_"I'm afraid your illness is terminal."_

_"Jon, I'm sick."_

_"Only a few months left."_

_"Jon, I'm sick."_

No, he buried those words deep inside him years ago. They weren't real, none of this was. He needed to escape.

***Beep***

The walls were starting to close in around him, the more he punched them, the faster they moved. His heart was beating so fast that he could actually feel all the bones in his chest break slowly one by one, his hands and feet were numb which unabled him to move, something or someone was pressing against his troath, he couldn't breathe, the world was spinning and Jon was in the middle, flashes of his life kept appearing, his mother, his friends, Sansa, Lily, the drugs, God he desperately wanted to use. That was the only thing that could help him now.

All the while he was being crushed by those white walls.

***Beep***

"Jon! Please wake up!" It was Sansa's voice, yet he couldn't react.

"Lisa! Help me!" _Wake the fuck up, Jon!_ he said to himself. Sansa must be panicking.

All of the sudden he felt a sharp pain in his cheek, the sound echoed all over the room, Lisa slapped him.

When he opened his eyes he saw Lisa, she was sitting on top of him. It wasn't the first time she saw him like this.

"Jon, focus on my voice, only that. Breathe, it's over it can't hurt you anymore. We're were, comeback to us." He was hyperventilating but as Lisa spoke to him and rubbed his face he was slowly getting back to normal.

"I...my mother...she was there but I couldn't..I didn't save her." His vision was blurring with tears, the pain on his chest didn't went away.

"Jon, please talk to us. Let me help you." Sansa was crying too, he promised he was going to make her safe. He was failing already.

"I miss her so much." He said trough the tears, in the blink of an eye Sansa grabbed him and he buried his face in her chest, he began bawling like he was no more than a child.

Speaking with Ned Stark yesterday and remembering all that happened in his life broke him to a million pieces, he didn't want to be this weak but right now he couldn't seem to get up.

That's not how he wanted the night to end, it had started so perfect. He invited Sansa over and finally asked the question, she accepted. After that they spent hours making love and celebrating the fact that they were going to live together, all of his dreams were coming trough maybe that was what was wrong. Jon wasn't used to having good things, everything he touched broke, everyone left. It's almost like a curse, Cersei Lannisters words came back to him, he would never be good enough. He couldn't even be a good son.

"Rest, my love." Sansa whispered, they were alone now.

"Everyone goes away, I'm...you deserve so much more...but please stay." He begged, he never thought that one day he would be in this position.

"For as long as you want me." Sansa then started humming some kind of lullaby, her voice was soothing the pain, her touch was healing his wounds, her presence was keeping him safe.

Soon enough sleep took him, he had no more nightmares.

* * *

 

  
Next morning after they had breakfast, Lisa went to the bar and told him to stay at home resting, he had no doubts she could manage by herself, Sansa took his car and said she wanted to take him somewhere, Jon didn't questioned her. After a few minutes he could see where she was heading, immediately he wanted to take over the wheel.

He probably has only been here once or twice and it's been so long that he almost has no memory of it. It's wrong and Jon knows it but coming back to this cemetery is to much to handle. He never really understood why people had to be buried, for him it's only a reminder that the ones we love are no longer here, that no matter how hard we try they just won't come back, it all ends here all but the pain.

"Lisa told me you never come here, why?" He barely heard Sansa, he couldn't focus.

"What's the point anyway? This is not how I want to remember her, she was smiling all the time even when we didn't have enough money to buy groceries, she showed me that love is more important, that as long as you are with the people that you love even a shed can look like a castle. She was a fighter, she fought cancer until she couldn't anymore, never once did she gave up. She doesn't belong here." She belonged with him.

"The ones that we love never leave us, she's still with you. You're her son, her blood runs through your veins, everything that you are, the sweet and caring man that I fell in love with exists because of her. I can't imagine what it feels like to go trough that loss but pretending it isn't there it's only worst, I saw it last night." Sansa was right, he had to do this. He owned that to his mother.

"Let's do this then." He left the car and Sansa followed him.

It felt strange to be here after so long, so many things have changed, there are even more tombstones than before, from dust we came and to dust we shall return.

> _Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me._   
>  _**Psalm 23:4**_

The priest words came back to him, there were only a few people in attendance that day, all came to hug him and give their condolences, Jon nearly screamed at them. They didn't know how he was, they didn't care, it was just expected of them. He hated being pitied at.

This was also the place where his downfall began, after here the following years are a blur, drugs and crime is all he knew.

"We're here." Sansa said, then he looked down. She was smiling at him, her eyes never missed that shine.

Jon kneeled on the dirt and grass and threaded his fingers trough her tombstone, she needed flowers. Daisies were her favourite, he should've been bringing them every week, no everyday day, it's what she deserves if only he wasn't so much of a coward. He couldn't do that anymore, he promised Ned Stark that he was going to become a better man for his daughter, he had to grow up and face the world. Starting with his mother.

"I'm sorry." He had no idea if she was actually somewhere listening but he spoke all the same. "I've wanted to come sooner but I was scared, mostly ashamed at myself. I've done terrible things, I've lied and hurt so many people including you. You've raised me better than that, somewhere along the lines I lost track of that, but I promise I will never walk way again. I met someone, her name his Sansa Stark and she's beautiful, you would've loved her and her little girl, Sansa is the only reason why I'm standing here now, she brought me back to you." From the corner of his eyes he saw Sansa cleaning her tears with a paper tissue. "She makes me want to be a better man, she's the love of my life. There are so many other people I wanted you to know, Lisa is my best friend, she curses to much but she reminds of you in some ways, she's a fighter, also Sam is a lawyer now and he's married and has a little boy. I kept the bar, it's a success, maybe that's because there's a picture of you hanging around, I doubt people came for my good looks." Sansa laughed softly, Jon did the same. "I have to go now, you see me and Sansa are moving in and so we're going to be very busy but I promise I'll return, next time I'll bring you daisies, I'll make sure Sam comes too. I love you mom." He felt a peaceful, it was good to finally let it out, to see his mother again, he could feel her presence almost as if she was standing right next to him. When he looked up it was Sansa he saw.

"Thank you." It would never be enough.

"Let's go home, our home." Hearing Sansa say that made him want to kiss her without a care in the world and that's what he did.

"I'm not sure your mother would approve of this." Her tone was firm but her face betrayed her.

"My mother was cool, she once let me skip class to go on a date with Ygritte, my first girlfriend." Sansa frowned. "She lived far away and we we're eight, she was my pen pal, when I told my mom she was my girlfriend she drove for two hours so me and Ygritte could have a milkshake together. That was the only time I saw her."

Yes, his mother was cool. She was the best.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we're going away from Kings Landing.
> 
> Also the Targaryen family will be mentioned but won't actually make an appearance, only if change my mind.
> 
> Thank you for the amazing response, you're great. It's awesome to read what you think of this fic and to know that you're enjoying.♥️


	15. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa is finally living with Jon and well they celebrate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mainly fluff and a lot of smut (I'm still working in that department so I apologize in advance). Plot wise not much is going to happen but still I'm posting this chapter because it's going to dictate what's about to happen in the chapters to come.

Chapter 14

Sansa Stark

Thank God it's over! She cheered internally. After three long and painfully slow days, Sansa was officially living with Jon. She was happy but mostly exhausted, all she wanted right now was a bubble bath and a bed to sleep in and only wake up when winter comes, the move itself wasn't that tiring, she and her daughter didn't really had that many stuff so it didn't take long for them to finish, Jon had to do a few repairs and replace some of the furniture mainly his all bedroom. Still it was more emotionally draining than what she she anticipated. After spending so many time away from her family and now getting back to them and living at their house made saying goodbye a lot harder, she was over the moon that she was going to live with Jon but a part of her is going to miss her mother calling her name at the crack of dawn so they can cook breakfast together, or Rickon constantly pulling pranks on her, and also her father. Somehow he's the one she's going to miss the most.

"Really, Jon?! Can Lady sleep with me?"

"Yeah, I don't see what's the problem. Ghost sleeps with me sometimes too." Jon was carrying Lily in his arms and was giving her the full tour of the apartment. She already knew the place by heart but it was still sweet to see her daughter and Jon like this. Like father and daughter.

Lily hasn't had any problems adapting whatsoever, Sansa feared that these many changes were going to be hard on her but they weren't. Lily couldn't be any more excited for living with Jon, how could she not?

Jon was making all of her wishes coming trough starting with Lady, her parents didn't mind having a dog in the house but Lady wasn't allowed to sleep indoors and now Jon was doing the opposite, of course that was a win in Lily's book. And it wasn't only the fact that he was giving her a freedom she never had, Jon had a way of putting people at ease very easily and with only a few words, he made both of them feel safe and at home.

The doorbell rang and Lady and Ghost started barking, it probably was the pizza guy, neither Jon or Sansa had the energy to cook so they opted for having pizza, she didn't want to make an habit out of it, Lily was already of late eating a lot of junk food, Sansa wanted her daughter to have an healthy lifestyle even though making her eat vegetables could sometimes prove to be a challenge.

After paying the young man, Sansa took the two pizza boxes and placed them on the dinner table, but Jon had a change of heart and decided they could eat in front of the TV, he did that for Lily who immediately tuned in the cartoon channel. Lily was sitting on her lap and Sansa was helping her daughter with her food, she didn't need the help but Sansa didn't want her to make a mess since she had already bathed, Jon was at their side not really eating, he was just staring at them with pure adoration, it felt right all three of them like this.

"Can you remind of going grocery shopping tomorrow?" Jon asked, Sansa was confused.

"Why?"

"Sansa, if you go trough the kitchen cabinets you'll probably find canned soup older than Lily." Sansa had to suppress a laugh. "I think the first time I cook here it was for you, up until that my stove was in pristine condition." She's certain that he and Lisa probably never had a proper meal in this apartment, Sansa was going to change that.

"Starting tomorrow, I'll cook for you everyday." Sansa loved to cook, when she was younger she dreamed of becoming a chef.

"You spoil me, Sansa Stark. I'm about to get a dad bod." She didn't care.

"You're still going to be sexy in my eyes." She decided to be a little flirtatious, she could see Jon swallowing hard.

"What's sexy?" Lily asked out of the blue. Sansa's face became on fire.

"It's been a long day why don't we all go to bed." Jon quickly changed the subject, she had no idea nor wanted to answer that question.

* * *

 

Lily was going to be staying at Lisa's old room, the room was quite simple, the walls were painted in white, it had a small bed, a nightstand, a few shelves in the wall and a built in wardrobe, and nothing more. Jon had promised Lily that she could decorate the room as she likes, her daughter was already having so many ideas, all of them involving unicorns.

Jon was in the living room cleaning while Sansa was getting her daughter ready for bed, Lily was growing up so fast it actually astonished her. She was different than most five year old, she loved to play, sing, dance and all that but she was also very mature, maybe having to grow up in Joffrey's presence made her become that way, more aware of her surroundings, more suspicious of people, Lily had some difficulty when it came to making friends, whenever Sansa took her to somewhere with kids around Lily would always shy away, part of it it's her own fault. She never really let Lily have friends, she couldn't leave the house and spend her afternoons in the park as most mothers in her neighbourhood did, Joffrey wouldn't even let her think of that, yet now that Lily was going to school and start to socialize more with people her own age maybe she'll become a little more at ease and less shy.

"Mommy, I want to wear the pink jammies." Those were her favourite, they were a gift from Arya. Pink shorts and a white t-shirt covered in unicorns.

After helping Lily get dressed for the night, Sansa picked her up and tucked her in bed, even though it was summer there was still a slight breeze in the air so she made sure her daughter was covered in her pink bedspread, she doesn't want to take any chances when it comes to Lily's wellbeing.

"Do you like it here, baby?" Sansa asked, unsure of why she did it.

"How long will we stay?" It broke her heart to hear that, in less than a year Lily has already moved three times.

It's already hard for an adult, Sansa can't even begin to contemplate what it must be like for her daughter, a child who is still learning how to deal with her emotions.

"For a very, very long time. Would you like that?" Lily grinned.

"Yes, Jon is funny and Lady can sleep with me." Speaking of which, Lady had just hoped on bed and was curled up against Lily.

"Goodnight, baby. Mommy loves you so much." Sansa kissed her daughter's forehead and gave her a tight hug.

"Love you too, mommy."

It wasn't long before she fell asleep complety, Robb and Maergery spent all day with her so Sansa and Jon could finish with the move. They went to the pool in the afternoon and then afterwards dropped Lily off, her little girl was probably as exhausted as Sansa. By now Jon must be awaiting for her in bed but still she didn't want to leave, she couldn't stop looking at her baby's face. If only I could stop time, she thought idly.

And to think there was a time were she didn't want this child, it made her sick to even remember it but it was the truth, at that point she already despised Joffrey and to know that she was going to have his child and raise it to be just like him, it was revolting. She even went as far as to ponder about an abortion, yet she wasn't brave enough to do it and if someone found out about it, Sansa was good as dead. She's glad she didn't do it, Lily was the most important thing in her life, everything revolved around her and her happiness,if she ever as to make a choice, Sansa will always pick Lily first, even if the other person is Jon. She loves him but Lily is all she's ever had during those dark times, he knows about this, Sansa has told him and he understood and swore that day would never came.

* * *

 

When she got to her room Jon was already in bed, shirtless and with his hair loose, he was trying is earnest not to fall asleep.

"Is Lily okay? If you to want she can sleep with you, I'll go to her room. I just want her to comfortable, I know kids are very resilient but still I totally get if she gets sca-" Sansa had to kiss him, otherwise he would've kept going the rest of the night.

It still surprised how much he loved her daughter, Sansa actually was thinking about asking Jon if he wanted to give her his last name, by law Joffrey wasn't her father anymore, if Jon chose to he could adopt Lily. Sansa was going to wait a little bit longer to ask, they had all the time in the world.

Right now she had something else in her mind.

"You know, I thought that since you bought a new mattress it would be fun to try it out for the first time, but I understand if you're tired. Nevermind, let's go to sleep." She said mischievously, Jon's eyes widened and in less than a second he was already sitting in bed.

"That was just a figure of speech, I'm full of energy and just to prove it..." Jon grabbed her waist and pulled her to him, he then started peppering her face with kisses.

Whoever Sansa placed her hand on his chest to stop him, tonight she was going to do something different.

"What's...wrong?" He asked already out of breath.

"I...can you lay down for me? Please?" He did as she bid.

Honestly Sansa has always had a lot curiousity when it came to sex but the last time she tried to be more adventurous in the bed, she ended being called a prostitute and had her lip broken, ever since that she put those ideas aside, but now she can do all she chooses to. Jon will never judge her or make her feel ashamed of herself.

He was mesmerized, the way he looked at her even when she was doing the most mundane things made her feel worshiped.

After gesture him to lie down, she started by licking his neck and blowing on it, Jon shivered and grabbed her ass but she took his hands away, she could see him pout. Soon after she was kissing him fiercely on the lips, to which Jon joined in, she began sucking his tongue and biting his lips, without meaning it she drew blood but Jon actually enjoyed it, he let out a guttural sound and was already getting hard, she realised that he has been holding in and actually likes it rough. Two can play that game.

Roughly she started trailing her hands down his chest mapping some of his scars, he winced when she dug her fingernails in his flesh but never told her to stop instead he just kissed her neck making her moan softly, despite this being about him Sansa was already feeling herself get wet and her pussy was trobbing, no one has ever made her feel this way, Jon is the love of her life and she's more than happy to give all of herself to him, her body, her life, none belong to her anymore but this time it was her choice.

When her fingers traced his underwear, Sansa decided to have a bit of fun and started massaging is now very hard cock. Jon was still with his boxers on and she was moving her hands slowly, very slowly.

"You're...God. You're being cruel." She had to laugh, he loved to tease her to the point of frustration now it was her turn.

Before he started crying, Sansa took pity on him and finally removed his boxers making his cock sprang free in all of its glory, she was indeed a very lucky woman. The moment she tickled his balls Jon screamed so loud she had to place her hand on his mouth, she didn't want him to awake Lily or the neighbors.

"Don't ruin all the fun now." She whispered in his ear. He nodded frantically.

She decided to put an end to his misery and grabbed his cock, she needed him as much as he needed her but first she was going to drive him wild. Jon has always taken his time with his foreplay, she's just repaying the favour. This is what an healthy relationship should be like, it's about the two of them not only one, for years she thought otherwise.

At first her movements were uncertain and uncoordinated, she never liked doing this or maybe it was because she was forced to do it, but now it was different. She could feel Jon's cock quiver under her hands, the head was already leaking with pre cum and when she looked up, Jon was clutching the sheets and biting is lips, nothing about this was forced or dirty, she found it endearing and almost beautiful.

Wanting to try new things instead of the up and down movement she was taught by Joffrey, Sansa loosened her hold on his cock and began to move her fingertips gently over it, her touch was light and soft as she trailed her fingers across his cock, he liked rough but she wasn't going to hurt him in a place as sensitive as is genitals.

"Harder!" Jon was desperate. She complied with his wishes.

"How does that feel?" She was rubbing his long shaft fast and with her thumb was massaging his head while her free hand was fondling his balls. His breathing was shallow and she could see the sweat amounting all over his body.

"I'm going to...shit I'm close." She changed her mind, she has never done this before but hopefully Jon won't notice.

She hates her experience or lack thereof, it's almost as if she's been living in a bubble all of her life. That's why she wanted to experiment this, she was going in complety blind and without knowing what to expect or what was expected of her.

She stopped her movements and brought his cock to her mouth, she didn't had to look at him to know he was surprised.

His taste was like the rest of him, she couldn't explain it but she found it pleasant, she wrapped her tongue around his cock and bobbed her head up and down, occasionally stopping to lick his head and descent until she reached his balls, Jon pushed her head down and was thrusting into her mouth, when she made a gag noise he ceased and apologized though she felt embarrassed.

"I'm almost... I love you. God, oh I'm gonna cum." She kept going.

She was sucking him harder, when suddenly Jon sat down and pulled her to him, before she could register Jon was on top of her sucking her neck with a passion, when he looked at her she couldn't recognize him, his eyes were dark and wide, his hair was a mess and his veins were popping out of his neck, he looked possessed. She didn't knew this side of him but it was doing things to her, good things.

"Dirty girl." He spoke to her neck, his hand already inside her panties rubbing and her clit. She was soaking wet.

"Jon, now..."

"Greedy." He didn't even took her nightgown off, he only worried about her panties.

In a quick and swift movement he was inside of her, his thrusts weren't gentle, nothing about this was gentle, it was feral. She moaned as his cock moved in her, she felt complete with him filling her, he seemed to get harder and bigger and each passing second, he quiet her moans with a kiss, a deep bruising one. She scratched his back until she felt her fingertips wet and warm, blood.

"That's it, scream for me! I want to hear how good my cock feels in your pussy." Rarely Jon spoke like this, but he was out of control.

"Good...so good! Oh, Jon!"

Jon was grunting and groaning, he didn't even sounded human at this point anymore, her pussy was clenching and she knew what was about to happen.

"Jon! Jon! Jon!" His name was a prayer on her lips, her whole world went blank and her body limp. She dove right in into that pure blissful feeling that made her go to the moon and back.

"I'm cumming! Ohhhh...shit!"

It all happened so fast that they didn't even worried about a condom, Sansa was going to speak but it was already to late, he was cumming inside of her, she could feel it.

She could go to the pharmacy next morning, it wasn't going to be a first. She also decided to make an appointment with her gynecologist, she needed to be on the pill.

"I...I love you." Before she had a chance of replying, Jon fell asleep or pass out. She couldn't tell.

She had enjoyed herself but now that it was over her body was succumbing to sleep as well.

* * *

 

A few days later and Sansa was in the supermarket with Lily buying groceries, she wanted to cook something special tonight. Lisa accompanied them because she was doing the same and didn't have a clue on how to organise a shopping list, Sansa's certain that if she came alone she was probably lost in some aisle by now.

"Fuck me!" Lisa muttered under her breath, luckily Lily was distracted and didn't heard. Lisa unfortunately didn't have a filter when it came to her dictionary.

"What's wrong?" Sansa asked.

"Nothing, is just that time of the month for me. If you think having your period is hard, try being a recovering addict while dealing with cramps and being unable to take any painkillers." Lisa chuckled.

Sansa froze midway the dairy aisle, no it couldn't be.

"Sansa?"

 _Shit_. She realised she never took the morning after pill a week ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe baby? 😏


	16. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa and Jon's first vacation as a couple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow I'll start a new job, my first one ever and even though I'm really happy about it that means I won't post as much as before. But I'll keep on writing and I barely sleep so there's time.
> 
> Now for the story itself, this chapter is just more fluff as Jon surprises Sansa with a trip and later on they both share news with each other.

Chapter 15

  
Jon Snow

"I swear to God, and I'm not even a religious person, that'll punch you if you ask me that again!" Lisa was in a bad mood, Jon was used to it already. She's never been a morning person, or a daytime person.

Well, she can be challenging at times.

"I just wanna make sure it's alright with you. It's a lot of work for one person only ."

"It is but what's the point of being the boss if you can't leave whenever you want?" She kind of had a point.

Jon had been planning this for a while now along with Sansa's parents and siblings, he knew she missed home, her real home, and so Jon talked to Ned and he gave him the key to his house in Winterfell so he, Sansa and Lily could go there on vacation. The Starks were coming too but later on since they wanted them to have some quality time alone.

A few nights Jon surprised Sansa by making a romantic dinner, Lily spent the night with her grandparents, and then afterwards he handed her an envelope with three plane tickets and a box with a snow globe in it, Sansa nearly jumped on the table so she could hug and kiss him, she was so happy and seeing her like this was what he lived for and then when they told Lily about it, next morning, her reaction was even better. He could see she was excited by finally see the place where her mother grew up not to mention she already had so many ideas involving snow, after everything they went through this year they deserve a much needed break and Jon can't think of a better place then Winterfell. He's never been there, or anywhere for that matter, but from what he saw online and from the pictures Catelyn showed him, the place was beautiful, a winter wonderland. And Sansa had fond memories of it.

Jon couldn't wait to go but that meant Lisa would have to work alone for the next two weeks, it wasn't fair that he could sit around and do nothing while his friend was in Kings Landing, where the heat his torturous, all day behind the counter serving drinks and dealing with drunk people or people who just need a place to talk to someone. But she assured him that she was fine with it but that wasn't enough for him, as soon as he returns Jon will give her a raise and two weeks off with payment, she needs it, everyone is moving on and Lisa isn't simply because she doesn't have the time for it, she always puts other people's needs in front of her own, ever since Sansa moved in Lisa has been the one who stays in the bar until midnight or sometimes even later, so he can get home in time for dinner.

"One day I'll take you to see Winterfell." He said wishfully, Lisa made a face.

"Hell no! I much rather be on a dornish beach with a fellow at my side and a cold beer. Now that would make a pretty picture. My next Christmas card." Now she was the one thinking wishfully. It wasn't a bad wish, not at all.

"I'll take you there then." She laughed sarcastically.

"Anyway, you should be home packing not here. Go on, the plane leaves tomorrow with or without you." Lisa was waving her hands.

"I'm going to miss you." He was.

"You'll be back before I even notice you left. Have fun and plenty of sex." And with that he left, he wasn't going to discuss his sex life with Lisa. There were boundaries none of them dare to cross.

* * *

 

When he arrived home, Sansa was packing alongside Lily. She was all over the place, even though she was excited the nerves wouldn't leave her. She didn't tell him, she didn't have to Jon could see it, she was scared. This was going to be Lily's first time on a plane and in a place so far away from what she knows, she was afraid that Cersei would do something about them leaving, she has nothing to do with them anymore but that doesn't stop her from calling pretty much every day asking for Lily, she even came as far as to show up at their door, luckily Sansa wasn't home and Jon didn't tell her about it, lately she's been more emotional and cranky, he just hopes it has something to do with the trip and not him, he couldn't stand being the one making her feel this way.

And most of all she was scared of not being able to say goodbye to Winterfell, that part she told him last night, she just misses her home so much that she fears once she gets there she won't want to go back here, if Sansa really chooses to stay Jon will support her, he still has the bar but he'll think of something, who knows maybe he can open another there as well, they can start over. But he doesn't want to think about that now, not when his girlfriend, soon to be fiancé if everything goes according to plan, his having a meltdown in the living room.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" He said has he got to her side, tears were already staining her cheeks.

"Everything! We leave tomorrow and I still haven't packed half of what I'm supposed to, I still have to buy pills for my nausea, Lily needs a pair of snow boots, we have to drop the dogs with Lisa and Arya, and somehow I don't have time for any of it, I really enjoyed the surprise but couldn't you have told me sooner?!" Jon didn't really thought about that but he already was prepared for some of it.

"Lisa is going to get the dogs after work around eight o'clock, your mother already bought Lily her boots and I'm here to help you pack and we can buy the pills in the airport. Okay?" Sansa slowly nodded. "We have time to spare don't worry."

"I'm sorry, it's just...it's been so long and I want everything to be perfect for us." Jon was going to make sure Sansa would have the trip of a lifetime.

"I know and I promise you it will." Jon kissed her and she was already more at ease.

They spent the rest of the day just packing and running errands, he did most of them but Arya and Gendry, who were obviously dating, came in to help. Even Tormund who didn't have any appointments showed up, he didn't do much but he was great with kids and kept Lily distracted, she loved to draw and he was a tattoo artist so they just sat in the couch while Tormund showed her some of his tricks. Later Lisa came too and much to his relieve brought dinner for all of them, burgers, fries, chicken wings, pizza, she pretty much brought the whole fast food place with her.

They were supposed to go to bed early but somehow ended up by staying up till three just talking and laughing with each other, this was something new to him, never in his life Jon had entertained guests but these ones weren't hard to keep entertained since they were the ones who were responsible for all the fun, Lisa even managed to get a deck of cards and that's what they did all night, quietly of course not to disturb Lily who was sleeping.

And then the moment he and Sansa went to bed it took two hours for them to fall asleep, apparently despite what happened earlier Sansa was in the mood for some relaxation, his favourite one.

* * *

 

All was amazing but then when he had to awake up at six in the morning to catch a flight at eight Jon wanted to die, he barely slept an hour and now was driving trough traffic in the morning, thankfully it was almost over and he could try to rest a bit on the plane yet he knew that would be impossible, Lily semmed scared about the prospect of flying and Sansa was nervous for her and maybe herself too. This was going to be a long day.

"Bye boss! Don't bring me a keychain, I want something expensive! And don't worry I won't starve the dogs!" Lisa said from inside the truck, she was very happy which was odd given the fact that it was very early.

She came with them because she was going to drive Jon's truck back and then pick her bike and go to work, she was also the one who help them with the luggage since Sansa wasn't feeling well, he was awake this morning with the sounds of Sansa being sick in the bathroom, right away he wanted to cancel everything and take her to the hospital but she didn't want to, saying it was just the nerves and that she was fine. He could see her and Lisa whispering something in the kitchen, it must've been something good because Lisa was grinning from ear to ear, he thought the whole thing strange but kept quiet, the last thing he wanted right now was a fight or put Sansa in a bad mood.

After doing all that had to be done, he and Sansa who had Lily on her lap where sitting just waiting to get inside the plane, from the corner of his eye he could see Lily looking around unsure of her surroundings, she was terrified that much was clear and even with Sansa humming a song to her she didn't calm down.

"Are you afraid?" He asked softly, he only got a nod in response.

He had no idea what to say to make her better, after all Jon was also flighing for the first time. He was a little bit worried but managed to do a good job in disguising it.

When Jon saw the pilot walking outside immediately he knew what had to be done, he got up and ran as fast as he could.

"Sorry...are...are you our pilot?" He asked out of breath.

"You're going to Winterfell?" Jon couldn't answer but made sure he understood his signal.

"I know you're busy, very busy but my d-, my little girl is a little bit scared since it's her first time on an airplane. Could you just talk to her for a few minutes, if it's possible?" The man looked nice and said yes.

The two of them made their way back to where Sansa and Lily were staying.

"Hi Lily, you're dad here says you're afraid, may I ask why?" Jon didn't know if he should correct him or not for what he said, Sansa and Lily didn't seem to mind.

"I don't like hights, they're scary." Lily said in a small voice, the pilot chuckled.

"They can be. When I was your age I felt the same exact away but I'm going to tell you a secret." He gestured Lily to come closer. "It's okay to be afraid, you just have to be brave and if you can't then pretend you are, no one will notice the difference." Lily smiled so did Sansa.

"If you want I can take you to the plane alongside your parents and I'll show you around, so you'll see there's nothing to fear. Would you like that?" Of course Lily said yes.

Apparently the pilot had three small children so he understood what it can be like for kids who are new to something, he took them to the cockpit and even let Lily turn on a few of the lights and afterwards gave them the full tour and explained everything and it's purpose, he was doing this for Lily but Jon couldn't help but being memorized by all he was saying. He always wanted to do something like this and now he was finally getting the chance to.

Not long after the pilot had to leave them and the passengers were arriving, Lily quickly fell asleep after the plane took off so all their worries were for nothing. The fact that he was mistaken by Lily's father didn't leave his mind, not because the implications of it but because of what he felt, he enjoyed it and he wanted to hear more of it someday. He wanted to be a dad but first he was going to marry Sansa and he already knew just how to propose to her.

"What's it like?" Sansa frowned. "Winterfell I mean."

"It's different, very different. People there aren't as open minded as the ones in Kings Landing and that isn't a bad thing I suppose, the older still believe in legends, mythical beings that live deep in the woods, there were some that even say we Starks come from wolves itself. Growing up there was always that sense of magic, as if something was bigger than us and all we wanted was to find it so we spent our days running around looking for the Children of the Forest and direwolfs. But as I got older a realise it was a lie, a child's innocence no more, I wanted to leave, I would dream about it every night, I longed for the sun and the city that everyone talked about. Then one day that wish came truth and we all know what happened to that naïve girl. I was so stupid, I hate myself for it." A tear fell on her cheek, she had never told him about it.

"Trust me, everyone wants the same. When we're younger we feel like the world is to small, we want to leave on some adventure and can wait to put all behind. Sansa, my love, you did nothing wrong, you were a child. Don't hate yourself for that." He took hold of her hand and planted a kiss in it.

"I guess you're right, you're always right." Jon had to laugh at the absurdity of that statement.

"What it's true!" Sansa countered.

"You're a terrible liar, Sansa."

"And you should always let me win an argument." As if he doesn't do that already.

"Okay, you're right I'm Mister right and never wrong." They laughed and shared a kiss.

"Thank you for doing this, Lily is going to absolutely love it." _Wait until you find out everything,_ he thought. Sansa didn't know her family was arriving in a few days.

"I can't wait to go skinny dipping in those hot springs I saw online." He whispered in her ear, that got him a smack on the arm.

"You ruined a perfectly romantic moment." She was smiling so Jon was safe.

* * *

 

After hours sitting on a plane Jon couldn't be happier for finally being able to walk on land, it was still daytime but they decided to make no stops and go straight to Sansa's childhood home. As they drove around in the back of the cab Jon sat next to the window admiring the place, they weren't lying this was really something out of a dream, even in July the streets were covered in snow, the air smelled like pine and was fresh unlike King's Landing, there were so many trees, the houses they saw were all rustic, it was a wild and beautiful, somehow even with so many people Winterfell didn't look tamed, Jon could see himself living here maybe once he retires or sooner. During the whole journey Sansa never spoke a world, just like him she was glued to the window.

"Everything looks the same." She finally spoke, it was for herself but he heard it.

"It's...I don't really know what to say." He didn't, never in his life he had seen so much beauty. Okay maybe Sansa.

Once the cab stopped in the driveway Jon felt speechless once again, this house was insane like something out of a movie, the house was built of bricks and timber and it must've at least four storeys, from afar he could hear the sound of a waterfall and the chirping of birds, when they got inside he was scared to move lest he breaks something, big leather chairs and sofas, a huge wood staircase and wood counters and tables, there were several rustic chandeliers, which weren't needed since the windows allowed a lot light inside, and there was also a huge fireplace made of stone, Sansa lead him outside and showed him the deck, there was even a small pond in it. This place was fit for a king and Jon definitely felt like one in here. The moment of peace didn't last long because Lily ran away and started running around own her own, Jon went after her before she could get hurt.

They managed to cook something to eat but would have to buy supplies tomorrow, they went to bed early to make up for the previous night and Lily slept with in the middle of them because it was her first night in here, the room was cozy. All made of wood and with a bed that felt like a cloud and the moment he layed on it he blacked out.

Next morning he was awake by Lily, she was full of energy already.

"Jon! Jon! Awake up I want to go and explore." She looked so cute in her pink flannel pajamas, he couldn't say no and he didn't want to either. He too wanted to explore, he always loved the wilderness but back home there isn't much of it.

"Why don't we stay inside today, baby? I promise tomorrow I'll take you to see a tree you never saw before neither did Jon." Sansa was already awake too.

"Can we stay in bed and watch cartoons all day?" Lily pleaded.

"That was my plan all along." Sansa smiled and instantly Lily was again in the middle of them with the remote in her hands.

He had to agree with Sansa, he wanted to see everything but staying in bed didn't feel like a terrible thing. He loved this moments with just them and no one else, it was special and only theirs. Unfortunately with his job they weren't a regular thing so Jon was going to enjoy it to the fullest, even if that meant watching a cartoon about unicorns all day long. Honestly they weren't that bad.

* * *

 

Because that wasn't any food in the house and they didn't bought it today, Jon decided to go out to eat, nothing fancy of course, it wasn't is thing. But as he was downstairs helping Lily with her shoelaces he heard Sansa being sick again, this was the second time already and now he was freaking out, without wasting an heartbeat he rushed upstairs to the bathroom. Sansa was on her knees coughing and taking deep breaths simultaneously.

"You don't have to see this." She said weakly. Jon sat next to her.

"In sickness and in health." He said without realising it.

"We're not married." Not yet.

"Would you like to?" It wasn't what he had in mind but this could work too.

"Jon...are you saying what I think you're saying?"

" I love so much and I want to wake up every morning next to you for the rest of my life, I want to grow old at your side and even then it won't be long enough, you're all I've ever dreamed and that is just an understatement, there's no words to describe what I feel for you, what you mean to me. I'm not a rich man or that handsome, sometimes I forget to take the trash out or take the dogs on a walk, I know you hate the fact that I talk a lot during movies, but that's only because they're french and I can't see the subtitles and they're really boring but they're you're favourite so forget I said that. Iove them." Sana giggled but was about to cry." And I love you and I've said that already and I'll say it everyday until my last day. Sansa Stark will you marry me?" He already had the ring on his pocked so he took it out. He wasn't much but it belonged to his mother and her mother before her.

Sansa was silent and he was dreading that. What if she said no?

"Yes! Yes! I'll marry you." She hugged him like never before.

"I have something to tell you as well." Jon was confused.

"I'm not sick, I'm...Jon you're going to be a father." _What? Oh Jesus..._

"Truly?! There's mini Jon in there?!" He pointed at her stomach.

"Yes, or mini Sansa maybe both. But yes there's someone in here." She brought his hand to her belly and Jon thought he was dying. His heart stopped beating for a minute.

"Thank you." Jon cried.

That night after making love for what it felt like hours, Sansa layed asleep with her head on his chest yet Jon refused to close his eyes despite being exhausted, he wanted to memorize everything about this moment, he wished he could freeze time for just one more second like this. His hands were in her belly though Sansa still showed no signs of being pregnant, her bump was so small he could barely feel it but it was there and that also meant that his son or daughter was there as well, he never thought that one day he was going to call someone his child, he loved Lily but somehow this felt different, this baby was his and Sansa's, a prove of their love, a prove that if God chose him to be a father then maybe he was not as bad as he thought he was. He was going to be a good father, this child will know nothing but love and a happy home, there were so many possibilities but one thing was absolute. Jon's life was just getting started.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it probably is boring to keep reading the same over and over but like I've said before, I'm an horrible person so enjoy this one because afterwards it's going to end. The drama is making a comeback and it's coming in full swing.


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